# Pope Forced Into Retirement By Secret Vatican Gay Sex Club, Paper Says **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 22, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108 "2013-02-22T20:43:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/41 "2013-02-28T04:05:50Z")
Der Trihs: > [@](#): > > Nope, that the fish were behind the Pope’s resignation. Specifically, GAY fish. Like, for example, Kanye West. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/42 "2013-02-28T04:46:35Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > Der Trihs: > > Specifically, GAY fish. Like, for example, Kanye West. Imma let you finish, but Celestine V had one of the best papal retirements of all time. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/43 "2013-02-28T05:05:25Z")
It was reported on NPR that the Pope loves to play the piano, and one will be available in his retirement place. I can not shake the image of an still glitzy pope emeritus entertaining guests in the Vatican showing his piano act and then saying: [I wish my brother _Georg_ was here!](http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/12/messages/208.html) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/44 "2013-02-28T05:30:45Z")
I think this is the most interesting bit which Sullivan quoted from Colm Toibin: > [@](#): > > Gänswein is remarkably handsome, a cross between George Clooney and Hugh Grant, but, in a way, more beautiful than either. In a radio interview Gänswein described a day in his life and the life of Ratzinger, now that he is pope: > > ``` > The pope’s day begins with the seven o’clock Mass, then he says prayers with his breviary, followed by a period of silent contemplation before our Lord. Then we have breakfast together, and so I begin the day’s work by going through the correspondence. Then I exchange ideas with the Holy Father, then I accompany him to the ‘Second Loggia’ for the private midday audiences. Then we have lunch together; after the meal we go for a little walk before taking a nap. > > ``` It sounds like the Pope has an extremely close relationship with his gorgeous male secretary. Even in retirement, the Pope doesn’t want to give up this relationship even though the secretary is supposed to be working for the next Pope. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/45 "2013-02-28T06:30:05Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > It sounds like the Pope has an extremely close relationship with his gorgeous male secretary. Even in retirement, the Pope doesn’t want to give up this relationship even though the secretary is supposed to be working for the next Pope. :dubious: Eh, he’s basically the Pope’s personal assistant, and at 85 the Pope presumably needs a lot of assisting. Maybe there’s something more there, but I don’t see much evidence for it. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/46 "2013-02-28T08:01:31Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Eh, he’s basically the Pope’s personal assistant, and at 85 the Pope presumably needs a lot of assisting. Maybe there’s something more there, but I don’t see much evidence for it. But the “personal assistant” has a new job – being secretary for the new Pope. After work is done, the secretary will come home from work and live with Pope Benedict. :eek: If Pope Benedict were trying to step down in a normal way, he would move out of the Vatican to avoid being a distraction for the new Pope and get a new assistant. But then he would no longer get to spend time with his hot personal assistant. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/47 "2013-02-28T08:42:02Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > If Pope Benedict were trying to step down in a normal way, he would move out of the Vatican to avoid being a distraction for the new Pope and get a new assistant. But then he would no longer get to spend time with his hot personal assistant. That’s silly. There is no “normal way”. Popes resign once or twice a millennia. You (and Sullivan) are trying to make it seem untowards by saying how “unusual” this is, but any arrangements for Benedict are going to be unusual: having a living ex-Pope is itself unusual in the extreme. The Pope is 85 and apparently his health is failing. He isn’t going to live alone, and doesn’t have a wife or kids to move in with. He already has a personal assistant who he already knows and is familiar with (and presumably has to live in the Vatican anyways) so moving in with him seems like a pretty natural step. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/48 "2013-02-28T13:34:04Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > He isn’t going to live alone Why not? Folks retiring to a life of “prayer and seclusion” usually don’t move in with hot, young studmuffins. If he has health issues, he could have scheduled visits from nurses, doctors, etc. In order to retire with the least amount fuss, he could move back to Germany, give up his “Pope” title, and give up his boy toy. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108/49 "2013-02-28T16:11:14Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > Why not? Folks retiring to a life of “prayer and seclusion” usually don’t move in with hot, young studmuffins. Only in the Catholic Church is a 56-year-old priest a “hot young studmuffin.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-forced-into-retirement-by-secret-vatican-gay-sex-club-paper-says/651108.md?page=2)