# Pope Palpatine is a Festering Grab-Ass **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2007, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355 "2007-07-11T13:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/1 "2007-07-11T13:27:35Z")
[Pope manages to offend most of the planet.](http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/news/articles/0711PopeSays0711.html?&wired) > [@](#): > > Pope Benedict XVI on Tuesday asserted the spiritual primacy of the Roman Catholic Church. > > He did so at the expense of Christian Orthodox churches, which he said are wounded, and Protestant churches, which he said are not really churches at all. > > The pope approved a document that says the only path to true salvation is Catholicism. The move was a stark reaffirmation of centuries-old Catholic belief that Protestant churches are lacking because they cannot trace their leadership back to Christ’s apostles. > > The document says Christian Orthodox churches are true churches but have a “wound” because they do not recognize the power of the pope. Pope Benedict was correcting what he said were erroneous interpretations of the Second Vatican Council, which helped modernize the church. Ya know, JP II worked to try and _improve_ relations between religions, while his success at this is certainly debatable, you, dickhead, have singlehandedly _pissed all of that away!_ Even better, you’ve effectively given deluded souls the same kind of twisted thinking that encourages people to strap on explosives and blow someone else up because they’re a Big Endian and the folks across the street are Little Endians. I hope someone reminds you of that the next time you decry the clusterfuck that’s going on in Iraq and I hope this inspires the Catholic masses to give you the bitchslap you so richly deserve. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/2 "2007-07-11T13:30:38Z")
John Paul II was a tough act to follow but Benedict certainly seems to be taking the church backward. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/3 "2007-07-11T13:35:09Z")
Ha! He’s made the “Church of Christ Statement”! (for those not in the know, Church of Christ is a small fundamentalist sect that is notorious for claiming loudly that they are the one true church and that everybody else is going to hell. Kudos to the Sith Pope for out-fundamentalizing the fundamentalest fundamentalists!) ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/4 "2007-07-11T13:36:25Z")
Yeah, that news item made me go, “Hanh?” in a big way. Whatever happened to the spirit of ecumenicism? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/5 "2007-07-11T13:38:37Z")
He’s just stating what all the others are thinking…their way is the \*right \* way. Does it really matter? You either believe it or you don’t. I doubt anyone will bail from their current church just because he dissed them. And belonging to a protestant church is already dissing the catholics anyway, right? Besides…who’s to say he’s wrong? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/6 "2007-07-11T14:01:44Z")
Jeez, I’m an atheist and I felt pissed off at the insult to Protestants. What a tool of Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/7 "2007-07-11T14:04:02Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Besides…who’s to say he’s wrong? [/QUOTE] \< waves hand \> Me ! Me ! Pick me ! ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/8 "2007-07-11T14:07:32Z")
My dad will be _thrilled_. He’s been waiting for the church of his childhood to come back for forty years. It’s just like a time machine! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/9 "2007-07-11T14:08:30Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] \< waves hand \> Me ! Me ! Pick me ! [/QUOTE] **Der Trihs** , if you have something to say, you’d better share it with the entire class. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/10 "2007-07-11T14:10:45Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Jeez, I’m an atheist and I felt pissed off at the insult to Protestants. What a tool of Satan. [/QUOTE] I’m a Protestant and I don’t. There’s nothing new in this. I’ve heard at least as much over the years to the effect that it’s the RCs who aren’t true Christians. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/11 "2007-07-11T14:11:15Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] He’s just stating what all the others are thinking…their way is the \*right \* way. Does it really matter? You either believe it or you don’t. I doubt anyone will bail from their current church just because he dissed them. And belonging to a protestant church is already dissing the catholics anyway, right? Besides…who’s to say he’s wrong? [/QUOTE] Not all the others. Several of the Eastern religions, including Hinduism, say “All ways are the right way”. I rather wish Judaism, Islam, and Christianity/Catholicism had this in their doctrines. I mean, it hasn’t _stopped_ religious wars in India but it has kept a lot of minds open. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/12 "2007-07-11T14:20:39Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I’m a Protestant and I don’t. There’s nothing new in this. I’ve heard at least as much over the years to the effect that it’s the RCs who aren’t true Christians. [/QUOTE] Eh, well, that pisses me off too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/13 "2007-07-11T14:21:13Z")
I was tempted to start a pit thread called “Fuck You, Benedict” for that statement of his, but I guess you beat me to the punch while I was still thinking about it. I mean, this isn’t really news, the RCC has considered itself the “one true church” and therefore the “one true path to salvation” for, I don’t know, millennia now. But by coming out with such a public, combative, and uncompromising statement, he’s basically issued a giant “fuck you” to most of the planet. So yeah, I’d like to issue a giant “fuck you” right back atcha, Benny. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/14 "2007-07-11T14:29:21Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] [Pope manages to offend most of the planet.](http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/news/articles/0711PopeSays0711.html?&wired)Ya know, JP II worked to try and _improve_ relations between religions, while his success at this is certainly debatable, you, dickhead, have singlehandedly _pissed all of that away!_ [/QUOTE] Right. How far did Pope John Paul get again? I mean, he strengthened within the Catholic Church adoration of the Blessed Mother and the traditional belief of the Eucharist and its transubstantiation. He also powerfully asserted papal authority on numerous occasions. I don’t need to point out to you that Protestants look at all of these things with great suspicion, and Orthodox Christians don’t look kindly on the last. Ecumenism is typically limited to pursuing of shared social goals and nice kind words when the Pope dies. Pope Benedict limited his remarks to narrow matters of theology, on which points Protestants and Orthodox and other Christians would likely agree if they consider the Catholic point of view fairly. Consider the Nicene Creed, and the belief in “one holy catholic and apostolic Church.” The Catholics take this literally - one church, Catholic, and with apostolic succession. Other churches interpret the statement much more liberally, and some do not use the Nicene creed at all. So again, nothing new. And not much to get riled over. Things were tougher some decades ago, and my Catholic mom and Baptist dad still managed to meet, marry, and raise some very religiously mixed up kids. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/15 "2007-07-11T14:31:19Z")
> [@](#): > > The pope approved a document that says the only path to true salvation is Catholicism. The move was a stark reaffirmation of centuries-old Catholic belief that Protestant churches are lacking because they cannot trace their leadership back to Christ’s apostles. This isn’t even _true_! The Church of England’s bishops (i.e. the Anglicans, th Episcopalians, whathaveyou) claim to be part of apostolic succession. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/16 "2007-07-11T14:35:06Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Eh, well, that pisses me off too. 😉 [/QUOTE] Quite rightly, but as long as neither side of the divide is in any condition to point fingers, why worry? It’s not like the Pope’s calling for suicide bombing against the infidels. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/17 "2007-07-11T14:36:54Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Not all the others. Several of the Eastern religions, including Hinduism, say “All ways are the right way”. I rather wish Judaism, Islam, and Christianity/Catholicism had this in their doctrines. I mean, it hasn’t _stopped_ religious wars in India but it has kept a lot of minds open. [/QUOTE] True enough. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/18 "2007-07-11T14:38:28Z")
When people ask, and I say “ex-catholic”, it’s things like this I point to. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/19 "2007-07-11T14:41:37Z")
[QUOTE=Orual] This isn’t even _true_! The Church of England’s bishops (i.e. the Anglicans, th Episcopalians, whathaveyou) claim to be part of apostolic succession. [/QUOTE] But the Catholic Church doesn’t recognize such as legitimate. Nor does the Anglican Communion recognize the authority of the Pope. There are also some significant theological differences between the churches as well. So what’s the big deal? ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355/20 "2007-07-11T14:42:56Z")
I just think of the Vatican/RCC as a really nice art museum [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pope-palpatine-is-a-festering-grab-ass/411355.md?page=2)