# Popping the Question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 10, 2007, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363 "2007-03-10T09:35:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/1 "2007-03-10T09:35:12Z")
Why should it be standard that a guy ought to suprise his girl with the proposal that they marry? Why should it be that she standardly should feel that she must answer right then and there? Those both seem like very bad ideas to me. But its kind of the model for the marriage proposal, at least as put forth in popular media in the USA. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/2 "2007-03-10T11:12:44Z")
Dunno, but I always wondered about the really outrageous and public proposals, since it seems like the girl pretty much has no way to say no. But then again, I imagine that the idea is to hit them at the most romantic moment (point of greatest yestitude), which will probably not be the same point at which you’ve returned from a romantic night out, tired and wanting to go to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/3 "2007-03-10T11:12:52Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] Why should it be standard that a guy ought to suprise his girl with the proposal that they marry? Why should it be that she standardly should feel that she must answer right then and there? Those both seem like very bad ideas to me. But its kind of the model for the marriage proposal, at least as put forth in popular media in the USA. -FrL- [/QUOTE] I think it’s just a nice tradition that makes things “official.” I suspect that most people are already “unofficially” engaged prior to the big moment–meaning, they may have even talked about marriage, when they’d get engaged, living together, whatever. IOW, by the time someone asks, it’s largely a foregone conclusion. Just my opinion, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/4 "2007-03-10T14:44:59Z")
Misread as: **_Pooping_ the Question** Don’t try this unless you _know_ your kink is OK. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/5 "2007-03-10T14:59:37Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] Misread as: **_Pooping_ the Question** [/QUOTE] That’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/6 "2007-03-10T17:18:48Z")
I think **Stratocaster** has it. “Popping” the question is just a way to make the moment memorable. (As opposed to the ancient joke in _Playboy_, “How’d you like to do this every night?”) I proposed at dinner while taking Deb out for her birthday (_no joining the crowds of proposers on Christmas Eve, for me_) because it made a romantic moment more memorable. I can’t even imagine proposing to someone if the answer was in doubt. (I know that folks do; it just strikes me as odd. I think my Mom declined my Dad four or five times. However, they each knew that they were going to marry and she was just putting off the specific commitment until their end-of-depression economic situation was more secure.) ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/7 "2007-03-11T02:23:09Z")
Years ago, the Metrodome used to put a camera on the couple as the guy proposed. They stopped after there were a couple of rejections. (That’s what they told me when I called to ask about it.) ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/8 "2007-03-11T05:26:21Z")
I agree that in most cases it is pretty much a done deal, but not always. When I proposed we hadn’t even seen each other for over a year, me being in Illinois and she being in New Hampshire and then Philadelphia. However, in a rare burst of cluefulness I had gotten the impression that she was interested, and would say yes when she came to help me move. I was right, though she claims to have not actively considered the possibility. But I sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted to pop the question in a crowded place. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/9 "2007-03-12T02:44:34Z")
Frylock, will you marry me? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/10 "2007-03-12T06:48:56Z")
Posting drunk, again, **Autolycus**? ( **Frylock** ’s wife would probably object to your union.) ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/11 "2007-03-12T06:50:30Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] Posting drunk, again, **Autolycus**? ( **Frylock** ’s wife would probably object to your union.) [/QUOTE] As would the state of Florida. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/12 "2007-03-12T08:02:24Z")
Actually, I was and still am, for the time being, sober, but thanks for the concern **Tommyboy** 😉 I just enjoy causing mischief. Non-trollish mischief. Maybe that makes me an asshole. :smack: Whatever you do, dont propose on the internet. I’ve seen it done, and it was a spectacular failure. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/13 "2007-03-12T15:40:29Z")
Well, then, would everyone in this thread marry me? I’m pretty sure I can convince the Heiress to go along. The Ohio General Assembly might be a harder sell, though… ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popping-the-question/395363/14 "2007-03-12T16:02:16Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Whatever you do, dont propose on the internet. I’ve seen it done, and it was a spectacular failure. [/QUOTE] If I recall, there was a thread here where it worked out quite nicely. I searched, but couldn’t find it. Perhaps someone else might do better.