# Popular songs that give terrible advice **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [February 5, 2023, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343 "2023-02-05T16:00:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/21 "2023-02-05T17:16:46Z")
Wine is fine, but whiskey’s quicker Suicide is slow with liquor Take a bottle, drown your sorrows Then it floods away tomorrows. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/22 "2023-02-05T17:16:50Z")
**Dark Lady** by Cher. Do a thorough background check on your psychic or you’ll end up killing her and your worthless, cheating lover. ---
**Author:** ![knavette57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knavette57/32/3871_2.png) [@knavette57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knavette57)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/23 "2023-02-05T17:17:44Z")
I always liked those monkeys, especially my grandmother’s kitschy little ornament that portrayed those monkeys in ugly dime store ceramic. However, I like your idea. Isn’t what is evil really quite subjective? Of course, you are probably making that point, or at least I understood your comment to mean just that. Playing cards was considered evil among Baptists, but it’s fun and more fun in the world is never evil. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/24 "2023-02-05T17:20:36Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Putting the lime in the coconut is sure to give you a bellyache. Yes but also, putting the lime in the coconut will make you feel better. Which I guess makes the song even worse because it’s giving conflicting advice! ---
**Author:** ![knavette57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knavette57/32/3871_2.png) [@knavette57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knavette57)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/25 "2023-02-05T17:23:10Z")
Knowing when to hold em, when to fold em, that might work if you dealing with a simple problem. I am not sure it helps when things are complex and multi layered. Our brains are not exactly wired to understand too much info, at least that it what I notice. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/26 "2023-02-05T17:25:20Z")
One of my favorite songs is “Don’t Worry, Baby” but the lyrics are basically about a girlfriend telling her guy to not worry about crashing his car in a street race with the guys he’s been bragging to. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Qt6oiHHbmT8/hqdefault.jpg "Don't Worry Baby Lyrics Beach Boys") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt6oiHHbmT8) There could be a follow up; _Well, I’ve been in a coma now For oh I don’t know how long_ ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/27 "2023-02-05T17:29:32Z")
In the summertime, when the weather is high You can stretch right up and touch the sky When the weather’s fine You got women, you got women on your mind _ **Have a drink, have a drive** _ Go out and see what you can find. Drinking and driving is a really bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/28 "2023-02-05T17:31:55Z")
N.I.B. by Black Sabbath-my name is Lucifer, please take my hand. Don’t. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/29 "2023-02-05T17:33:50Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > If you want to be happy for the rest of your life > Never make a pretty woman your wife You beat me to it, was the first line that came to mind when reading the thread title > [@solost](#): > > You call these lyrics a warning? He makes the highway to hell sound like a fun as hell ride: I’ve read a long time ago that the “Highway to Hell” was a real dangerous road somewhere in Australia where many accidents happened, so maybe it’s a warning not to drink/take drugs and drive? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/30 "2023-02-05T17:34:14Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > That song wasn’t about taking chances, it was pleading with someone as they fall deeper into the world of drugs (IV cocaine), violence (shooting someone in the brain) and HIV (they mention his failing health, sleeping with someone and ‘three letters’ killing him). At least that’s always been my interpretation. The song is saying it’s a dangerous world out there, so don’t take chances. It’s bad advice whether AIDS is running rampant or not. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/31 "2023-02-05T17:35:44Z")
Well, chasing stationary geological features is never a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/32 "2023-02-05T17:36:16Z")
_If you can’t be with the one you love_ _Love the one you’re with_. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/33 "2023-02-05T17:36:40Z")
I think 99% of love songs would fall under this category but not Love The One You’re With, IMHO. That seems most practical to me, rather than pining after some unrequited love turning into a bitter incel or something. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/34 "2023-02-05T17:38:46Z")
^^ Right, that has also always been my interpretation: if the one you love doesn’t want you, you can’t force it, but why stay celibate? Have sex with someone who wants you. Nothing wrong with that. ETA: even Aretha covered it, though she first was reluctant. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/35 "2023-02-05T17:45:15Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > N.I.B. by Black Sabbath-my name is Lucifer, please take my hand. > Don’t. And in the song **Sweet Leaf** , they _really_ want you to take up smoking: > Come on now, try it out! ---
**Author:** ![Apodder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apodder/32/17727_2.png) [@Apodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apodder)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/36 "2023-02-05T17:45:27Z")
Don’t Fear the Reaper ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/37 "2023-02-05T17:48:47Z")
Note to the Ramones: DON’T beat on that poor kid with a baseball bat and DON’T shoot your friends in the back when they’re trying out a new move on the dance floor. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/38 "2023-02-05T17:50:59Z")
Does anybody still think “Do the Hustle” is good advice? ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/39 "2023-02-05T17:51:11Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Highway to hell > Sympathy for the devil > The devil went down to Georgia (don’t accept talent contests with the devil) > Any songs involving hell or the devil, really I don’t know, of the two antagonists in Christian lore I’ve always found the devil to be the much more interesting and attractive character. In hell, they sure have the better parties (AC/DC sang about that too, see link). Don’t forget that rock’n’roll and the blues are the devil’s music. 😉 [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/qNfpkK5Uzqg/maxresdefault.jpg "Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNfpkK5Uzqg) ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/40 "2023-02-05T17:53:25Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > ETA: even Aretha covered it, though she first was reluctant. I think it’s a 60’s love-in type song giving rock stars permission to cheat on their wives. It is _my_ interpretation. Not sure why Aretha covering it makes more palatable. Like she wouldn’t give bad song advice by virtue of being Aretha. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343.md?page=3)