# Popular songs that give terrible advice **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [February 5, 2023, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343 "2023-02-05T16:00:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/81 "2023-02-05T23:26:46Z")
Reprobate that I am, I always knew she lied, that bitch, Cocaine. Which is saying a lot because I ALWAYS mishear lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/82 "2023-02-05T23:28:01Z")
“Don’t sleep in the subway, darling.” Sleeping in the subway is always an excellent idea. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/83 "2023-02-05T23:28:22Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > > [@mbh](#): > > > > If you got that loose, you wanna kick them blues, > > Cocaine. > > When your day is done, and you wanna run, > > Cocaine. > > **She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie,** > > Cocaine. > > > > Clapton waffled a bit, saying it was up to the listener to decide whether the song was pro-drug or anti-drug, but the “anti” interpretation, if it is there at all, is pretty subtle. > > This is news to me. I’ve been mishearing the lyrics all these years. I thought it was “she does lines, she does line, she does lines.” I always thought it was “shake all night, shake all night, shake all night. Cocaine.” ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/84 "2023-02-05T23:33:53Z")
Hehe, it’s funny how many different mishearings of the chorus of “Cocaine” there are. Seems to be one of the most misunderstood songs of all. Or maybe both Cale and Clapton are just mumblers. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/85 "2023-02-05T23:34:17Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > \*the best recording is probably [the original garage rock version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCZNFPaz1iw) by The Leaves, probably because the music partially drowns out the lyrics. Wow! A bit garage bandy but a great energy level. I like those guys! Never heard of them. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/86 "2023-02-05T23:48:02Z")
Encouragement of alcohol abuse is a theme of many songs (for instance, George Thorogood’s _If You Don’t Start Drinkin’, I’m Gonna Leave_). As for Screamin’ Jay, I don’t recall bad advice in _Constipation Blues_, but _Feast of the Mau Mau_ might be a different story. _Brush your teeth with a piece of a goose toenail After death, steal a breath from a drunk in jail Pull the skin off your friend with a razor blade End tonight, change tomorrow, and bring back yesterday_ Well, the last part works. \*but do _not_ make wine from the spine of your bulldog. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/87 "2023-02-05T23:51:05Z")
“Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.” Actually, you do not need to watch if other evidence supervenes. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/88 "2023-02-05T23:52:20Z")
Oh, as for bad advice about cocaine, there’s also the fitting “Koka Kola” by the Clash: _I get good advice from the advertising world_ _Treat me nice, party girl_ _Koka adds life where there isn’t any_ _So freeze, man, freeze_ ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/89 "2023-02-05T23:58:51Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Is “love” always code for “sex” in Sixties songs? Not a challenge, because I think the answer might be “yes”. I don’t think so at all. “If you can’t be with the one you love - love the one you’re with” brings back poignant memories of us friends. It means just what it says. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2023, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/90 "2023-02-05T23:59:04Z")
Country music has a lot of bad advice > I knew I had to ask him > About the mysteries of life > He spat between his boots > And he replied > “It’s faster horses > Younger women > Older whiskey > More money” And though Getting Schwifty sounds like it could be fun, shitting on the floor is unsanitary and will get you kicked out of many establishments ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/91 "2023-02-06T00:00:13Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > If you got that loose, you wanna kick them blues, > Cocaine. > When your day is done, and you wanna run, > Cocaine. > She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie, > Cocaine. I like the Jackson Browne “Cocaine”: _I went to the Doctor, down at the hospital,_ _He said, “Son it says here you’re 27, but that’s impossible.”_ _“You look like you could be 45.”_ _Cocaine, running all 'round my brain._ ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/92 "2023-02-06T00:18:13Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Weren’t those lyrics meant to be stupid? Like something a stoned participant at a fake funeral would write on the spot. Yes, regarding “Suicide is painless”, the director Robert Altman sought to write [the _stupidest_ lyrics](https://www.thevintagenews.com/2016/08/13/m-s-h-suicide-painless-15-year-old-co-wrote-made-money-1-million-films-director/?chrome=1) for the tune. When dissatisfied with the results, he jobbed it out to his 15 year old son to pen the lyrics: > ‘I’m sorry but there’s just too much stuff in this 45-year-old brain. I can’t write anything nearly as stupid as what we need’ Bob said, ‘All is not lost. I’ve got a 15-year-old kid who’s a total idiot.’ So his son Michael wrote the lyrics, and made about $2 million in royalties, while director Bob made $75K for making the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/93 "2023-02-06T00:29:52Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > So his son Michael wrote the lyrics, and made about $2 million in royalties, while director Bob made $75K for making the movie. Always get a percentage! ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/94 "2023-02-06T00:44:54Z")
… Stand by your man…'cuz women should be doormats… ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/95 "2023-02-06T01:03:32Z")
“If you wanna get to heaven, You’ve got to raise a little hell.” Pretty sure the Ozark Mountain Daredevils were a little shaky on the whole redemption concept. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/96 "2023-02-06T01:11:11Z")
> [@Sam\_Stone](#): > > “If you wanna get to heaven, > You’ve got to raise a little hell.” > > Pretty sure the Ozark Mountain Daredevils were a little shaky on the whole redemption concept. Well, like the bumper stickers in the megachurch parking lots say: “We Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven”. 🤯 ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/97 "2023-02-06T01:19:32Z")
It is not, in fact, hip to be square. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/98 "2023-02-06T02:36:52Z")
At [2:48 in _Killing Yourself to Live_ by Black Sabbath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCehccEZzX4&t=167s), Ozzy tells you to > Smoke it! > Get high! ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/99 "2023-02-06T04:49:49Z")
_Go ahead and hate your neighbor_ _Go ahead and cheat a friend_ Should I drown some puppies too? Yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2023, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343/100 "2023-02-06T05:02:42Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > I don’t think it’s terrible advice, but eating “a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down” would suggest there’s something wrong with the medicine. I find a spoonful of sugar is a good cure for hiccups. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/popular-songs-that-give-terrible-advice/979343.md?page=6)