# Porch Pirates **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2024, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661 "2024-12-15T04:42:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/21 "2024-12-15T15:09:32Z")
Yesterday, Mrs. J. went to the front door, looked out at the porch and exclaimed, “It’s stolen!”. I naturally figured that someone had walked off with a package she ordered, but it turned out she was referring to arrival of the Xmas stollen (pastry) we had purchased online. That’s all I’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/22 "2024-12-15T15:28:07Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I choose the Amazon option to have parcels left with my friendly next-door neighbour (and they reciprocate. 😀) How does this help? Don’t your packages just get taken from your neighbor’s porch, and theirs likewise lifted from yours? I mean, I never heard of a porch pirate checking the address label. “Whoops, this package is addressed to the Smiths at 123 Main Street, and I’m here at the Jones at 125 Main Street. I won’t steal this misdelivered package!” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/23 "2024-12-15T15:30:54Z")
I assume the difference there is the neighbor is always home & retrieves them from the porch instantly so they can’t be stolen whereas our poster is home rarely and packages may sit there for hours or days. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/24 "2024-12-15T15:31:02Z")
They get it delivered to whomever is home that day ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/25 "2024-12-15T15:32:16Z")
> [@Strenger](#): > > > [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > > > So, I’m wondering what is the best breed/type of bee, hornet, or wasp available from Amazon would be the most effective in deterring further piratage? > > So, how do you turn these savage beasts of prey “off” when you wish to enter your own place? Batcave entrance? The point isn’t to buy and install them at _your_ home. The point is to buy them intending for the porch pirate to steal them and receive a surprise later at _their_ home. In addition to buying e.g. bees from e.g. Amazon this method could also work. Just ship it to yourself and wait for the fun when someone pirates it. > **[A-Minus-Minus](https://xkcd.com/325/)** > > You can do this one in every 30 times and still have 97% positive feedback. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/26 "2024-12-15T15:43:52Z")
So she sounded drunk. 😄 So what about blue dye packs like the banks use? Should be easy to spot the Smurf casing people’s houses. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/27 "2024-12-15T16:53:24Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I choose the Amazon option to have parcels left with my friendly next-door neighbour (and they reciprocate. 😀) > [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > How does this help? Don’t your packages just get taken from your neighbor’s porch, and theirs likewise lifted from yours? > [@LSLGuy](#): > > I assume the difference there is the neighbor is always home > [@hajario](#): > > They get it delivered to whomever is home that day Yes, our chances double, since only one of us has to be in for the parcel to be taken inside safely. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/28 "2024-12-15T17:24:51Z")
> [@glee](#): > > Yes, our chances double, since only one of us has to be in for the parcel to be taken inside safely. Huh. With you and neighbor swapping addresses, I figured that meant s/he was also likely to be out. And how can you know at the time of ordering, what day the package will come and thus you can’t know which is the best address to use? At least, IMrelativelysmallE, regardkess if what the email notification says, packages will come days early or late on the whims of the gods. Or can you give instructions to ‘leave the package either here or there’ to the delivery guy? I’ve never tried that. There’s a store that accepts UPS (etc.) deliveries for a small fee pretty close by, I just use them by default. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/29 "2024-12-15T17:32:37Z")
I order from Amazon (I have Prime) four of five times per month and have done so for many years. I think I have had two things ever lost entirely and maybe one or two times a year have something arrive late where they do the “oops” notification at the end of the day. I can’t recall ever getting something prior to the promised day. There is a feature to change the delivery instructions. I’ve seen it but never used it so I can’t speak about how well it works. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/30 "2024-12-15T17:34:32Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I can’t recall ever getting something prior to the promised day. What’s happened to me, a few times, is that Amazon will send a message saying, “this package is delayed – we’d originally said it’ll arrive on Tuesday, but now it won’t arrive until Thursday”…and then it shows up on Tuesday anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/31 "2024-12-15T18:53:11Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I can’t recall ever getting something prior to the promised day. Happens to me occasionally. The most recent instance was yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/32 "2024-12-15T18:58:40Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > And how can you know at the time of ordering, what day the package will come and thus you can’t know which is the best address to use? Amazon UK has options for what happens if I’m out: - leave package on doorstep (or under nearby bush) - leave package with neighbour (I give their address) ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/33 "2024-12-15T19:00:44Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > > [@hajario](#): > > > > I can’t recall ever getting something prior to the promised day. > > Happens to me occasionally. The most recent instance was yesterday. Happens to me the vast majority of the time, usually one to two days sooner than promised. But I’m not on Prime and I use “free delivery” which is the slowest. But still, it’s typically something like four-day delivery promised and it arrives in three, always using Amazon’s own delivery service. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/34 "2024-12-15T19:15:51Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Happens to me the vast majority of the time, usually one to two days sooner than promised. But I’m not on Prime and I use “free delivery” which is the slowest. But still, it’s typically something like four-day delivery promised and it arrives in three, always using Amazon’s own delivery service. That’s the difference. I get stuff the next day if I order by late afternoon-ish or the day after if I order at night for nearly everything. Some third part stuff takes longer but still on time for when they promised. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/35 "2024-12-15T19:59:22Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I assume the difference there is the neighbor is always home & retrieves them from the porch instantly so they can’t be stolen I wish! I sit about 10 feet away from the front door and often don’t hear them set down a package. The alert I get from Amazon telling me it was delivered sometimes comes awhile later, not soon enough for any crooks who follow behind the delivery drivers. Fortunately, my block almost never gets hit anymore - no idea why not. I _have_ had 2 different drivers tell me that a giant spider next to the front door freaked them out. I haven’t seen any myself. Also, for anyone who thinks a Ring camera is a deterrent, Nextdoor is chock full of Ring pics of porch pirates blithely walking off with packages. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/36 "2024-12-15T20:27:30Z")
Nothing deters a motivated thief, really. But at least you have video to show it was stolen. Yes the Amazon “deliver on a specific day” works. I’ve used it. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/37 "2024-12-15T21:21:38Z")
> [@Strenger](#): > > You could probably buy dog pelts at Amazon That seems doubtful. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/38 "2024-12-15T21:24:19Z")
Google “dog pelt for sale,” though… ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2024, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/39 "2024-12-15T21:35:13Z")
I used to have my Amazon orders delivered to an Amazon Locker location at a nearby supermarket but a couple of years ago, my apartment building installed an Amazon Hub locker in the lobby. Aside from being more convenient, the advantage of the Amazon Hub locker is that it can be used for deliveries by Fedex, UPS or USPS in addition to Amazon. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2024, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/40 "2024-12-17T19:45:45Z")
Another problem with traps that look like boxes: more and more thieves are following the trucks around and striking soon after the delivery, presumably to get the package before the recipient gets any sort of indication that it arrived (and, for some reason, they don’t ring the doorbell - neither does anybody else delivering a package, whether it’s USPS, UPS, or FedEx), but I wouldn’t be surprised if making sure it’s not a trap had something to do with it as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661.md?page=3)