# Porch Pirates **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2024, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661 "2024-12-15T04:42:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2025, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/61 "2025-01-05T18:33:44Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > There are battery-powered morion detectors that will send a text alert when someone comes up the driveway or approaches your door. I want a moron detector! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2025, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/62 "2025-01-05T18:44:34Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > > [@Jackmannii](#): > > > > There are battery-powered morion detectors that will send a text alert when someone comes up the driveway or approaches your door. > > I want a moron detector! - I had one of those. The set-up instructions were poorly written and difficult to follow. 5 stars-would not recommend. ---
**Author:** ![Strenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@Strenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strenger)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2025, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/63 "2025-01-05T18:53:13Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I want a moron detector! Yes, wouldn’t mind one myself. Probably bury the needle pointing it at my direction. But WTH? Zappo’s? (Zappo? Zappos?) > [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > I get a text message with a photo of my package sitting on the porch. Normally, for me, that’s perfect. If I’m at home, either sleeping, or at my desk, or similar. So I know what’s what in electronic form/text message. Not so for these mofos at Zappo: pair of new kicks I was kind of jazzed up to receive…marked “delivered” as of yesterday. No. True fact: I double dare you to find an e-mail account for customer service at Zappo. No. It’s all that text window crap. WTH? I doubt it was a porch pirate. Although Amazon owns Zappo (Zappo’s? Zappos?) whatever it’s called…I don’t think they necessarily use Amazon delivery/last mile. Probably UPS or maybe USPS. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2025, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/64 "2025-01-05T20:08:24Z")
I just got shoes from Zappos a couple of days ago and it was UPS. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2025, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/65 "2025-01-05T20:37:32Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I want a moron detector! [![](https://mudpreacher.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/moron-tester.jpg) ](https://mudpreacher.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/moron-tester.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2025, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/66 "2025-01-06T02:31:15Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I want a moron detector! Just venture forth into traffic in my area. They will call themselves to your attention. They will also do this if you start working in a call center. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2025, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661/67 "2025-01-06T04:02:50Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > I get a text message with a photo of my package sitting on the porch. Yep, me too. Unless I don’t. Every delivery service I have ever used sometimes takes pix and sometimes does not. Sometimes sends texts / emails, and sometimes does not. The reliability of that is so far short of 100% that although getting the message is pretty well proof positive they dumped your box on _someone’s_ porch (not necessarily yours), the absence of a message tells you almost nothing. Delivered 3 days ago to your door then stolen, delivered 3 days ago to somebody else’s door, and still in transit all look _exactly_ the same: no message (yet). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porch-pirates/1011661.md?page=3)