# Porn discussions you can't really have with anyone else **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801 "2001-10-11T14:35:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/21 "2001-10-11T15:42:04Z")
I just remembered another tale. A friend of mine at work (who is gay) was in San Fransisco for the weekend with his other half when he walked past an adult book store. Upon browsing he saw one of the guys he has been working on projects at work with on the cover of a box. (he knew he did photo shoots but not movies). He bought the film and watched it and remarked to me “he better keep his day job” 🙂 I asked why he wanted it and he said “You never know when something like this might come in handy” ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/22 "2001-10-11T15:44:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tramp \* > \*\*I gotta say that Debbie Does Dallas is laughably bad… so bad that it is more humorous than arousing… I always thought it would make a great MST movie… 🙂 \*\* Apparently you’re not alone. Somebody turned it into [a play](http://www.debbiedoesdallas-theplay.com/)! It ran at the NYC Fringe Festival this year. As I recall, it’s the entire screenplay verbatim, sans the sex. Word on the street was that it was hilarious and that the actors deserved Major Awards for delivering the dialogue without falling over in hysterics. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/23 "2001-10-11T15:53:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\* > One… I can’t help noticing that the guys in the tapes I have (could be sub-par porn, I dunno) aren’t exactly… err… happy about being there. I mean, things are just kinda limp, they finish up with the Participatory Good Bits and then finish themselves off. It seems- from my angle- that they only get Really Happy when they’re taking care of themselves. _sigh_ A little anticlimactic, IMHO. > -BK \*\* In the Louis Theroux documentary i mentioned before, he had found out a lot of straight guys end up doing gay porn on the side (men make much much less than the women). ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/24 "2001-10-11T15:59:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\*I instituted the ‘Truth or Dare Lingerie Party’ at my alma mater. Just what it sounds like. \*\* I wonder if this was anything like the Lascivious Costume Ball at the Uinversity of Chicago? A very proud tradition that was sadly canceled after my Junior year. Ah, well… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\* > Two… was, uh, perusing a recently purchased tape the other day, when I came across somehting that HAD to have been fake, but if it was I _swear_ I can’t figure out how they did it. I mean, this guy was HUGE!!! _Two_ guys were working on him, and there was plenty of room left over. If I had to take a guess, I wouldn’t have put him under 18, maybe 24 inches. The condom barely covered the tip. All I could think was ‘gee, I feel sorry for the guy that lost the coin toss on this one.’ **shudder** I haven’t been to the Great God Google to look him up yet… I needed a little time to recover. Freaky!! > > I feel so much better! 😃 > > -BK \*\* There is a very similar scene in Caligula which was so unbelievable that the girl with us (we went in a group, five guys, and this one cool girl, and no, nothing developed after that, because, as I said before, the movie is so far out there that if someone had even suggested sex, we would have all run screaming to the nearest religious institution and signed up for life) anywho, there was this one guy whose penis was so large that this girl stood up in the theater and shouted: “That’s NOT REAL! There is NO WAY that can be real.” It was real, though. And that is the last thing I am even going to _think_ about this damn flick. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/25 "2001-10-11T15:59:24Z")
I entered Sex World in downtown Minneapolis several years ago, looking for an inflatable Uma Thurman doll. “Uma Thurman, the famous actress?” the clerk replied incredulously. “Yeah! Hubba hubba! Got one?” Sadly, I was out of luck. I ended up picking up an inflatable sheep (the ‘Luv Ewe’) instead, but I still want my inflatable Uma Thurman. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/26 "2001-10-11T16:02:45Z")
I guess I realized that I was truly an adult the day I discovered there was such a thing as bad porn. Not bad as in “that’s disgusting”, but bad as in “I couldn’t be less aroused” (I think it was Hustler that used to adult movies with the dick-o-meter, fully limp, quarter-erect, all the way to fully erect"). Things used to be so simple, naked people, tab A into slot B or C, money shot, the end. Then one day I realized that there was more. Sure, bad writing and acting could actually improve porn, and using The People’s Court theme during the obligatory orgy scene was always good for a laugh (see _The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue_). But there is some really uninsprired sex going on in some of these films. So sad. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/27 "2001-10-11T16:14:29Z")
At this point I’d like to open the floor for recommendations. Movies, books, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/28 "2001-10-11T16:15:11Z")
Er… color me ignorant, but what’s the deal with Caligula? The only one I’ve ever heard of is the Roman guy… I have very limited experience with porn. I’ve seen things like Flesh Gordon and the silliness they play on Skinemax, but I’ve only ever seen one real porn. It was seventh grade, the house of my then-best friend, with a few of our close buddies (male and female) over. The movie started off with a girl sunbathing on a poolside patio, then a guy came along and started sexing her up, then the guy’s friend came along … and brought his dog … and things went downhill quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/29 "2001-10-11T16:28:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\*[sub]Though I’m a wee bit saddened to think I’ll never have a threesome with another guy. ☹ [/sub \*\* Well, count me in if you’re looking for volunteers. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/30 "2001-10-11T16:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > \*\*Er… color me ignorant, but what’s the deal with Caligula? The only one I’ve ever heard of is the Roman guy… > > \*\* THe movie is very loosly based on the life of Gaius “Caligula” Caeser. The movie has some historical scenes supposedly reenacting his life but also has: An orgy scene where he forces the senate to have their wives perform in a state run brothel shaped like a giant ship An interesting variation on the “first night” concept and other vile items. The sex is not so much porn as it is vile. \*note just because i have posted 4 times in the porn thread, it does NOT make me a pervert! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/31 "2001-10-11T16:37:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BurnMeUp \* > **I have the DVD with the “uncut” version and the making of special 🙂** For God’s Sake, don’t tell Jack Dean Tyler. He’d have a fit. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/32 "2001-10-11T16:44:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Superdude \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > > \*\*[sub]Though I’m a wee bit saddened to think I’ll never have a threesome with another guy. ☹ [/sub \*\* > > Well, count me in if you’re looking for volunteers. \*\* You don’t miss a beat do you? ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/33 "2001-10-11T16:54:28Z")
Back in the Highschool days, my friend worked at a video store and would bring back bad porn for us to watch. There was one really bad one called “The Butt Boss”. We never did figure out who exactly was The Butt Boss. All of the actors were pretty nasty too. I’m a big fan of Vivid Video though, even though someone was complaining about them in the pit. Multiple angle DVDs are fun, though not as great as I thought it would be. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/34 "2001-10-11T17:00:13Z")
I can’t think of a better thread to post the following in. This happened about 2 years ago when I was working tech support. One of the empolyees was allowed to take his pc home to learn about his new Pinnicle Video Capture card. He needed some assistance on hooking it up, so I went out one afternoon after work to help. He had a VCR connected to it with an old tape in, and was trying to figure out how to record from it onto the PC for editing. After making some adjustments, we got it working and were able to record onto the pc, but just as we started, the tape reached the end. I rewound it to the beginning and pressed play. What then showed on the screen was this guy, buck naked, doing things I would never even think of. Yes, the tape he put in was an amature porn tape that he had partially recorded over and forgotten about. He was so embarrassed and asked over and over for me not to say anything at work about it. I told him not to worry. Now there’s one of those things you can just tuck away for use at a later time. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/35 "2001-10-11T17:02:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pcubed \* > \*\* and using The People’s Court theme during the obligatory orgy scene was always good for a laugh \*\* I’ve seen that! the movie i saw it in was WAY pre-peoples court, however! god how we laughed at the porno, and god how we laughed at the peoples court! (hey, porno court is on!) i saw a movie once where this woman is doing something so disgusting i (almost!) couldn’t watch. then the camera cuts to the dudes face and the look he had was so classic! i nearly pissed my self laughing! i love porn! ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/36 "2001-10-11T17:45:23Z")
My favorite porn is directed by _Michael Ninn_. The ones I’ve seen have been fairly futureistic with unusual sets and “plots”. Plus there’s usually some interesting music. [anecdote]I was sort of…uh…lazily performing a sexual act while my husband and I were watching one and the song “Mr. Milky” came on. Good thing I was being lazy or Mr Milky would have shot out my nose.[/anecdote] Other than that, I really want to see gay porn, but Hubby isn’t much interested. And I want to see Caligula, just because it’s sort of infamous. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/37 "2001-10-11T18:03:01Z")
Well that’s just lame as hell Sue. You post in a porn thread…with nary a mention of “duck lips” 😃 …d&r… ---
**Author:** ![frock75](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@frock75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frock75)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/38 "2001-10-11T18:09:10Z")
I would just love to be Ron Jeremy for a day. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/39 "2001-10-11T18:11:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Candlemas \* > \*\* > I could never look at her or her mom the same way after that. \*\* Was her mom in it too? A so-called friend of mine would invite me and lots of other guys over for the superbowl. Each year (thought I never took a turn) someone would bring a clip tape of porn for the half-time show. The object was not to arouse but to disgust. So for about 4 years in a row I would be subjected to an assortment of images designed to make me never want to have sex again. Thank God for bad memories. ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801/40 "2001-10-11T18:27:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \* > \*\*And I want to see Caligula, just because it’s sort of infamous. \*\* You know, **Sue** , I feel the same way. And everyone in this thread saying "Don’t… " just makes me want to see it all the more. I know I’ll regret it, but I gotta look. I only have two porn stories, but here y’all go. Both took place years ago, before the internet made porn quite so commonplace. 1. I was in the grocery store with some rather more conservative friends. I spotted Candy Samples in the aisle (remember her?) and ran over to get her autograph. Then I had to spend several stammering minutes explaining how I recognized her. [sub]By her huge boobs. How else?[/sub] 2. I ordered a video through the mail once, and they put me on the mailing list for the catalogues (plain brown wrapper, of course). They must have sold my name and address, because I received a far less discreet catalogue with VERY explicit pictures. One of the titles was _Lactating She-Male Midgets_. Unfortunately, I had gone on vacation and asked the nice little old lady next door to pick up my mail. Once she dropped it off, she never spoke to me again. I have quite a reputation in certain circles. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-discussions-you-cant-really-have-with-anyone-else/86801.md?page=3)