# Porn fetishes you never knew you had until you became internet-savvy **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 1, 2007, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250 "2007-05-01T02:24:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/81 "2007-05-10T10:58:08Z")
::: Moderator coughs for attention :::: **Autolycus** , that’s pretty much… inappropriate for Cafe Society forum. And uncalled for. I’m can’t find any particular rule that it violates, but it’s certainly out of place. Please try to restrain yourself in future (double entendre noted). ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/82 "2007-05-10T12:12:10Z")
I’ve found I have a liking for '70s-'80s era porn, especially the products peddled by the Color Climax/Rodox company. Wouldn’t have even known about that style of thing before the 'net. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/83 "2007-05-10T14:01:32Z")
Just remember, whatever perversion you think of will appear on the internets. It is [Quantum Fetish Mechanics.](http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=715) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/84 "2007-05-10T14:07:06Z")
[QUOTE=Mr. Miskatonic] [Quantum Fetish Mechanics.](http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=715) [/QUOTE] No, if that were true, there’d be at least one website with video of Bailey from _WKRP_ and Mary Ann from \*Gilligan’s Island \* and me gettin’ frea-kay. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/85 "2007-05-10T14:08:14Z")
> [@](#): > > It is Quantum Fetish Mechanics. Great. Now I’m imagining Furries dressing up as Schroedinger’s Cat. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/86 "2007-05-10T17:00:47Z")
[QUOTE=C K Dexter Haven] ::: Moderator coughs for attention :::: **Autolycus** , that’s pretty much… inappropriate for Cafe Society forum. And uncalled for. I’m can’t find any particular rule that it violates, but it’s certainly out of place. Please try to restrain yourself in future (double entendre noted). [/QUOTE] Oh come on, I found it to be quite funny. I’ve seen far more “inappropriate” posts elsewhere in the Cafe forum. If someone doesn’t like it, just don’t read it. It’s not like he didn’t give ample warning with all the setup and “fapping.” ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/87 "2007-05-10T17:12:55Z")
I think reading this thread may have given me a fetish for reading about other people’s fetishes…And also apparently not reading whole threads, damn, someone got to the joke first. Okay, then I have a fetish for reading about other people’s fetishes but not revealing any of my own. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/88 "2007-05-12T04:48:43Z")
Okay, now; in light of [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8527176&postcount=49): [QUOTE=JRDelirious] Don’t look now, but there was already Popeye/Olive Oyl porn in the dangblasted _ **1940s** _ (the “Tijuana Bibles” parody porn comics – look it up). [/QUOTE] and then seeing [this](http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp05112007.shtml) just a few days later, I have to wonder it Mr. Milholland is at least a lurker… ---
**Author:** ![Strain\_of\_Thought](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Strain\_of\_Thought](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strain_of_Thought)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/89 "2007-05-12T05:39:10Z")
A close friend of mine claims he once encountered a slash-fiction story in which The Brave Little Toaster rapes Blankie. He first mentioned years ago, and despite my vast experience slogging through the perilous porn pits of the internet since then, it still remains the most thoroughly bizarre piece of pornography I have ever heard of. Why?! Why, I ask myself? The strangest thing I will admit to enjoying is not quite erotic- it’s tentacle rape parodies. Often they feature an Elmer Fudd/Bugs Bunny dynamic where a disarmingly cute and inept tentacle monster will repeatedly be foiled in attempts to rape a young girl, who is merely very annoyed by the advances. I find the juxtaposition of an extreme fetish with tame slapstick to be hysterical. Two specific examples I can think of are the ‘Hentai’ episode of Weebl and Bob, and the Bus-Full-Of-Japanese-Schoolgirls storyline in Exploitation Now. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/90 "2007-05-12T12:27:44Z")
[QUOTE=Strain of Thought] The strangest thing I will admit to enjoying is not quite erotic- it’s tentacle rape parodies. Often they feature an Elmer Fudd/Bugs Bunny dynamic where a disarmingly cute and inept tentacle monster will repeatedly be foiled in attempts to rape a young girl, who is merely very annoyed by the advances. I find the juxtaposition of an extreme fetish with tame slapstick to be hysterical. Two specific examples I can think of are the ‘Hentai’ episode of Weebl and Bob, and the Bus-Full-Of-Japanese-Schoolgirls storyline in Exploitation Now. [/QUOTE] …and the now sadly-defunct webcomic, Ghastly’s Ghastly Comic. ---
**Author:** ![CeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/91 "2007-05-12T13:02:25Z")
I’ve been saving this for literally YEARS for just such an occasion. This is an instant message conversation from someone who approached me randomly. In the conversation below, I am “ConstantCrave.” Folks…meet, Beach Ball Guy: (Hope this isn’t too long and doesn’t annoy anyone.) SDOZ28: hello could you stomp a beachball flat? ConstantCrave: I suppose I could. ConstantCrave: Why do you ask? SDOZ28: fantasy ConstantCrave: You have a beach ball fantasy? SDOZ28: how would u do it? SDOZ28: yes ConstantCrave: Well, I wouldn’t think it would be real complicated. SDOZ28: can u fulfil ConstantCrave: LOL…are you serious? SDOZ28: stomp flat not easy ConstantCrave: You want me to tell you a little story about busting up a beach ball and you’ll get off on it? SDOZ28: yes ConstantCrave: I suppose it would be in spike heels. ConstantCrave: Or if I jumped off the sofa. SDOZ28: tell story ConstantCrave: Is that an order? SDOZ28: u have splkes SDOZ28: yes now ConstantCrave: Now? ConstantCrave: I suppose I could get spikes. SDOZ28: huge beachball dfetish ConstantCrave: You’re joking right? ConstantCrave: What about beachballs turns you on? SDOZ28: not joking ConstantCrave: You like the stripey beach balls? ConstantCrave: Or the solid color ones they have in the bins at Walmart? SDOZ28: anticipation ConstantCrave: Anticipation of a beach ball? SDOZ28: poppiny it SDOZ28: striped ones ConstantCrave: It gives you a hard on, or what? SDOZ28: now yes ConstantCrave: now yes what? SDOZ28: hard ConstantCrave: You’re hard now? Thinking of beach balls? SDOZ28: have them now no 14 to to break them ConstantCrave: You HAVE beach balls in your home? SDOZ28: no one to break ConstantCrave: But you have no one to stomp them? ConstantCrave: Well, why don’t you put your keds on and jump on them yourself. ConstantCrave: How many beach balls do you have? SDOZ28: live north shore apart alone ConstantCrave: Whew! Well that’s good… ConstantCrave: Because a roommate might take up valuable beach ball space. SDOZ28: like watching a woman jump on? ConstantCrave: Are you asking me if I like to watch a woman jump on beach balls? SDOZ28: i do ConstantCrave: So let me get this straight… ConstantCrave: It’s ONLY beach balls. ConstantCrave: I mean, a tether ball or a golf ball… ConstantCrave: That wouldn’t get you hard? SDOZ28: beachballs only ConstantCrave: Any idea WHY? ConstantCrave: Some childhood beachball-related trauma? SDOZ28: kinda ConstantCrave: Yes? ConstantCrave: Such as? ConstantCrave: Please tell me about it. SDOZ28: 1 got popped 15yrs ago liked it ever since SDOZ28: 31 m ConstantCrave: Someone popped your beach ball at 16… ConstantCrave: Was it a woman in spiked heels? SDOZ28: yes SDOZ28: no heel ConstantCrave: Who was it then? ConstantCrave: Did they do it on purpose? SDOZ28: neibor up stairs ConstantCrave: I see… ConstantCrave: Was she cute? SDOZ28: no dared to ConstantCrave: I mean, was it the BALL that excited you, or the girl. ConstantCrave: Ahh…so you WANTED her to jump on the ball before she did… SDOZ28: for 18 ya ConstantCrave: You already KNEW it aroused you… SDOZ28: both execited ConstantCrave: She was turned on by beach balls too? SDOZ28: no ConstantCrave: But she just had a deep hatred of them? That made her want to jump on them? SDOZ28: the anticipation of it happening ConstantCrave: I see… SDOZ28: i dared her a freak thing ConstantCrave: So if I like…stood on my bed and LOOKED at a striped beach ball on the floor, and got READY to jump on it… ConstantCrave: For like forty minutes. ConstantCrave: You’d cum all over yourself? ConstantCrave: Is that right? SDOZ28: then i became aroused ConstantCrave: I see. SDOZ28: slow down ConstantCrave: Do you suppose if you’d dared her to jump onto a live frog, you’d have a hard on over live frogs now ConstantCrave: ? ConstantCrave: Okay. SDOZ28: no ConstantCrave: A sand pail? SDOZ28: no ConstantCrave: A bean bag? SDOZ28: beachball only ConstantCrave: So I can’t stomp anything else for you? ConstantCrave: LIke a can of baked beans or something? SDOZ28: like what ConstantCrave: An inflatable chair perhaps. SDOZ28: ok ConstantCrave: Okay to the inflatable chair. ConstantCrave: How about one of those pool floaty things? SDOZ28: any ibmflatable ConstantCrave: Aha…now we’re getting somewhere. ConstantCrave: How about a giant, inflatable penis. ConstantCrave: i think I’d like to stomp that… ConstantCrave: Oh! Or how about one of those inflatable women? ConstantCrave: That would be hilarious. SDOZ28: ohhh yess ConstantCrave: You’d like that? SDOZ28: yes ConstantCrave: How many beach balls do you have right now? SDOZ28: age location? ConstantCrave: And do you also have an inflatable woman? ConstantCrave: I’m 30…in WAtertown. SDOZ28: cool SDOZ28: no women ConstantCrave: NO women? ConstantCrave: But how many beach balls. SDOZ28: beachba to many to count ConstantCrave: Are they already inflated? ConstantCrave: You get off on watching a woman blow up a beach ball? SDOZ28: 5 are ConstantCrave: Five inflated…hmm… SDOZ28: yes SDOZ28: u would fulfil my dream wouldnt you? ConstantCrave: Well…I can’t see why not… ConstantCrave: I mean, what harm could killing a few beach balls cause… ConstantCrave: I suppose the plastic people would be in an uproar. ConstantCrave: I’m single. SDOZ28: single ConstantCrave: Is it difficult to find someone who understands your beach ball neads? ConstantCrave: needs, that is. SDOZ28: no ConstantCrave: It’s not? ConstantCrave: Women lined up at your door to jump on your balls… ConstantCrave: Err…beach balls. SDOZ28: just ended an 8yr relationship ConstantCrave: With a beachball stompin’ fool? ConstantCrave: What happened? SDOZ28: nothing to do with fetish ConstantCrave: No? ConstantCrave: You broke up with her for other reasons? SDOZ28: second time around just did not work ConstantCrave: That’s too bad… ConstantCrave: But she jumped on beach balls for ya? SDOZ28: yes becamwe a reg thing ConstantCrave: What else turns you on? ConstantCrave: I mean, there must be something else. SDOZ28: being able to please a woman ConstantCrave: How so? SDOZ28: orally ConstantCrave: Ahh…well, that sounds like a fair trade. SDOZ28: im good at it ConstantCrave: Couple of stomped beach balls for an hour of cunnilingus… SDOZ28: sound good SDOZ28: that ok 4u ConstantCrave: Sure! ConstantCrave: Sign me up! ConstantCrave: Where do I stomp? SDOZ28: ur not serious SDOZ28: 511 228lbs u? SDOZ28: ur first nanme? ConstantCrave: Towanda. SDOZ28: can i call u? SDOZ28: what do look like SDOZ28: helloooo ConstantCrave: Like a cute little beach ball… SDOZ28: really u wanna goof on me SDOZ28: what do u look like? ConstantCrave: LIke an ordinary looking brunette. ConstantCrave: It’s gotta be a CUTE girl who stomps your balls? ConstantCrave: CAn’t just be any old girl ? SDOZ28: height weight SDOZ28: looks are not that import inner beaty is SDOZ28: hellooo ---
**Author:** ![Olive\_The\_Other\_Reindeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Olive\_The\_Other\_Reindeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olive_The_Other_Reindeer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/92 "2007-05-12T13:23:50Z")
[QUOTE=CeilingWhacks] I’ve been saving this for literally YEARS for just such an occasion. This is an instant message conversation from someone who approached me randomly. In the conversation below, I am “ConstantCrave.” Folks…meet, Beach Ball Guy: \ [/QUOTE] Damn - that sure beats my barefoot and barebreasted beauties in blue-jeans fetish by a wide margin! Hubby and his ex used to supply a couple of balloon fetish sites with material. I think he said they got paid $100 for 10 pics. They did about 15 sets. Mostly her in bikini and stripper shoes and lots of balloons. I guess people really would will pay to see that. Olive ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/93 "2007-05-12T14:37:08Z")
The best line from that whole thing? > [@](#): > > SDOZ28: slow down -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![CeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/94 "2007-05-12T14:43:29Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] The best line from that whole thing? -FrL- [/QUOTE] Aye, one of my various and sundry talents is that I type more than 110 wpm (at least testing anyway). I can ask 57 questions before you’ve had a chance to answer question #1. So having a conversation with me via Instant Message can be a little daunting. Particularly if you’re an imbecile to start out with. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/95 "2007-05-12T15:14:07Z")
[QUOTE=CeilingWhacks] Aye, one of my various and sundry talents is that I type more than 110 wpm (at least testing anyway). I can ask 57 questions before you’ve had a chance to answer question #1. So having a conversation with me via Instant Message can be a little daunting. Particularly if you’re an imbecile to start out with. [/QUOTE] Oh. That’s not how I interpreted him. 😉 -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/96 "2007-05-12T15:40:07Z")
I haven’t discovered any new fetishes–or, quirks, shall we say–in my own sexual interests since I became internet-savvy. Rather, the web has allowed me to, shall we say, explore, my quirks. And discover that I am most decidely not unique in enjoying some non-standard things. The web is great for indulging in fantasy about acts that I don’t think I really want to do in real life. Not because they’re illegal or immoral, they’re just not something my partner is interested in, and I don’t know as I’d want to take it to real life, anyway. The oddest sexual fetish I’ve stumbled upon on my own so far is the fellow who writes erotic stories about wrapping Roy Orbison in cling-film. Again, let me state: \*\*Roy Orbinson, encased in saran wrap, is someone’s sexual fetish. \*\* I am so NORMAL in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/97 "2007-05-12T15:49:12Z")
I skimmed over **CeilingWhacks** ’ post. I must say, I am glad I scrolled back up and read it properly. I’m still giggling. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/98 "2007-05-12T16:14:14Z")
I didn’t learn about this fetish from the internet, but rather from my early medical training. Some folks have a fetish for an artificial orifice, like an incision. Ostomies would be one such orifice, stab wounds another. I have not searched for this paraphilia on the net. I have no desire to gather further information about it. ---
**Author:** ![Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/54ee81/32.png) [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kneepants_Erasmus_the_Humanist)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/99 "2007-05-12T22:55:07Z")
So, they like to just _look_at the stab wound right??? Right??? :eek: :eek: Say yes. Please. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250/100 "2007-05-13T01:27:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Say yes. > > Please. Better yet: Don’t answer at all :eek:. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-fetishes-you-never-knew-you-had-until-you-became-internet-savvy/402250.md?page=6)