# Porn firm to release Paris Hilton video **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2004, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622 "2004-04-23T13:50:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/1 "2004-04-23T13:50:52Z")
And the title is: [One Night in Paris](http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/23/film.hilton.reut/index.html). 😃 Clever, no? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/2 "2004-04-23T14:23:05Z")
Having (ahem) already seen much of the vid in question, I have to say that it’s unlikely to pick up any gongs at the next AVN awards ceremony. The majority of the bits that most viewers are likely to be interested in are taped in a murky, greenish night vision mode that make both parties look like the demon spawn of the Incredible Hulk, and, as usual for an amateur video, the camera wanders all over the place, with spasmodic jump cuts between random shots of various semi-identifiable body parts. The rest consists of Ms. Hilton and Mr. Salomon blithering pointless, rather cruel inanities at each other while Ms. Hilton decides what to wear for, apparently, yet another of her endless nights of clubbing. While the the tape may make a good case for a violent revolution of the proletariat, as porn it fails utterly. Lastly, there’s no, er, climax. They call it the ‘money shot’ for a reason, people. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/3 "2004-04-23T20:43:30Z")
In order for a porn to be effective, you have to want to do the girl you’re watching. Paris just doesn’t do it for me. It seems I’m in the minority though. ---
**Author:** ![peterW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bb73d2/32.png) [@peterW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peterW)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/4 "2004-04-24T02:17:22Z")
So can anyone tell me if Paris is a natural blonde? I couldn’t tell by her video. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/5 "2004-04-24T02:21:37Z")
From the video, she appears t be a natural teal. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/6 "2004-04-24T03:14:59Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > In order for a porn to be effective, you have to want to do the girl you’re watching. Paris just doesn’t do it for me. > > It seems I’m in the minority though. Then it’s a minority of at least two. Even if you were completely unaware of her personality, she’d be unattractive. Maybe it’s just because I’ve always been a face-first type guy; I’m told that she has a nice body, but I’ll never know since I haven’t seen the video and I quickly turn the channel whenever I see her on TV. Also: he said “firm.” heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/7 "2004-04-24T15:20:02Z")
**SolGrundy** and **Lord Ashtar** are [crazy](http://www.maximonline.com/girls_of_maxim/pop_up.aspx?image_url_value=/girls/paris_hilton_2/gm_l3.jpg). And I’m with **El\_Kabong** , who’s going to pay for a 45 minute grainy ass night vision video. It is funny though, when they’re messing around and she stops to answer her cell phone: **Solomon** :Fuck your phone! (plays with self while Paris talks) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/8 "2004-04-24T16:43:56Z")
**Lord Ashtar** and **SolGrundy** , may I join your minority? Okay, she has a nice body, yes… but it would look a lot better with a bag over her head. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/9 "2004-04-24T17:46:50Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > **SolGrundy** and **Lord Ashtar** are [crazy](http://www.maximonline.com/girls_of_maxim/pop_up.aspx?image_url_value=/girls/paris_hilton_2/gm_l3.jpg). Hey, you know that part in _Good Omens_, where Sable is sitting there in the restaurant, and the super model who’s starving to death comes up to his table and fawns over him and begs for his autograph? Wha? Oh, uh, no reason. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/10 "2004-04-24T18:05:20Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > **SolGrundy** and **Lord Ashtar** are [crazy](http://www.maximonline.com/girls_of_maxim/pop_up.aspx?image_url_value=/girls/paris_hilton_2/gm_l3.jpg). Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. But there are _soooooo_ many women out there that are significantly hotter than Paris Hilton. For an example, click [here](http://www.jessicaalba.com/). ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/11 "2004-04-24T19:12:10Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. But there are _soooooo_ many women out there that are significantly hotter than Paris Hilton. For an example, click [here](http://www.jessicaalba.com/). I would kick her out of bed. I’d be all, “Whaa! What’s Paris Hilton doing in my bed?!?” and then I’d be all, “Hit the floor, bitch! Get your bony ass out of here!” And then I’d be all, “Huh. That was weird,” and then I’d wait and listen to make sure she locked the door behind her, and then I’d go back to bed. Thanks for posting the link, **Bruce\_Daddy** ; like I said there are some of us who’ve never seen a full body shot of Ms. Hilton. Now I can say she does nothing for me for both shallow and non-shallow reasons. She’s just too skinny and weird-looking, like a Barbie-doll knock-off brand, but thinner. You’d think as an heiress and all she could afford some more food. As an overweight, hairy single man who spends an inordinate time in front of the computer, I think I can afford to be more discriminating in my choice of imaginary girlfriends. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/12 "2004-04-25T20:17:32Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > …who’s going to pay for a 45 minute grainy ass night vision video. I would, but only if it was a souvenir video, like they sell at amusement parks. _Relive your time on Paris Hilton’s Wild Ride, pick up your video at the booth for only $50._ :doing some quick mental math: On second thought, that’d be like $37.50 per minute for my video… Maybe I wouldn’t buy it. ---
**Author:** ![HoldenCaulfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/22d042/32.png) [@HoldenCaulfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoldenCaulfield)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/13 "2004-04-25T20:53:04Z")
Although it has been a while since I’ve seen it, a lot of the video isn’t in night vision, and there is a money shot. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/14 "2004-04-25T23:43:51Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. But there are _soooooo_ many women out there that are significantly hotter than Paris Hilton. For an example, click [here](http://www.jessicaalba.com/). Yeah, I’m a big fan of her’s too. Have you seen Honey? Is it worth it for the Jessica factor? I’ll sit through a bad movie for some sweaty Jessica. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/15 "2004-04-25T23:45:49Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > I would, but only if it was a souvenir video, like they sell at amusement parks. _Relive your time on Paris Hilton’s Wild Ride, pick up your video at the booth for only $50._ > > :doing some quick mental math: > On second thought, that’d be like $37.50 per minute for my video… > > Maybe I wouldn’t buy it. Come on! You can put it on the internet and get famous. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/16 "2004-04-26T01:12:30Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > Yeah, I’m a big fan of her’s too. Have you seen Honey? Is it worth it for the Jessica factor? I’ll sit through a bad movie for some sweaty Jessica. No, I haven’t. I’ll catch it when it comes onto HBO. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porn-firm-to-release-paris-hilton-video/241622/17 "2004-04-26T01:50:54Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > As an overweight, hairy single man who spends an inordinate time in front of the computer, I think I can afford to be more discriminating in my choice of imaginary girlfriends. That’s a sig line if I ever saw one!