# Porno movie....and YOU'RE the star! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 21, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798 "2001-04-21T19:37:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/21 "2001-04-22T04:50:25Z")
My price would be pretty low if I could wear a mask. However, I think my husband wouldn’t be able to get over it unless I was bringing home some cashola. Probably $1.25 million. There’d be lotsa group sex. There are several dopers whom I’d like to costar, but I won’t name any of them except ricepad. Oh yeah, and I want ice cold diet pepsi–from the fountain–available in my trailer. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/22 "2001-04-22T21:54:06Z")
It’s an interesting idea in theory, with one small problem: If they put me in a porn film, the only way it’d make a drop of money is if it didn’t show my face or body. I’m just not the marketable type. But, for the sake of argument… 100k, females only, D&S and I get to work both sides. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/23 "2001-04-22T22:30:45Z")
**Hama,** may I be your bitch? Seriously though, the point of this thread is to pretend and I have to stifle laughter at this…that people want to see me naked…:: chortle ::, having sex :: cough, snort :: For this thread, we are all ideal porn material. and really, it looks like my payment demands are WAY too high. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/24 "2001-04-23T00:39:27Z")
**jarbabyj** , I believe you meant, “May I be your bitch PLEASE!” And of course! Actually, I think my demands were too high. I’m thinking 20-50k would do it, really. However, depending on the women involved…well, it might take me a while to pay the whole thing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/25 "2001-04-23T03:10:40Z")
1. Women ---
**Author:** ![heembo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f6c823/32.png) [@heembo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heembo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/26 "2001-04-23T03:13:15Z")
Wow - a dream come true. I will ask for a reasonable amount of money, but ask that it be donated to a worthy charity - I’m in this one for the experience, not the money 🙂 Since this is a fantasy, I am assuming there is no such thing as an STD, so there is no need for condoms. I would like a group of about 20 attactive people and an unlimited supply of sex toys. The theme would be “Anything Goes” ---
**Author:** ![heembo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f6c823/32.png) [@heembo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heembo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/27 "2001-04-23T03:15:39Z")
That should be: I would like a group of about 20 attractive people and an unlimited supply of sex toys. damn typos… ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/28 "2001-04-23T06:12:16Z")
At least a million, and the men cannot, I repeat, **cannot** , look like any male straight porn star **I’ve** ever seen. Maybe we could get some of those gay porn stars in as body doubles. They seem to be a hell of a lot better looking. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/29 "2001-04-23T06:38:16Z")
Um… I would need, A.) a location… B.) A time of day to be there. C.) a reletivly good looking Female between the ages of 18 and 45. D.) ten years to complete the project. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/30 "2001-04-23T06:44:57Z")
Wait. I would like to change C.) C.) A rotating group of about fifty reletivly good looking women aged 18-45. Yes. that is better. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/31 "2001-04-23T07:03:32Z")
You’re all hired. ---
**Author:** ![Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison_s_Lament)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/32 "2001-04-23T07:23:58Z")
I’d do it for an eightball of coke and a bottle of tequila, provided I could do/drink some before the take. Obviously I’d take anything extra thrown at me (like a couple of bucks for my trouble), but you asked for the bare minimum I’d accept and there it is 😉 — G. Raven ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/33 "2001-04-23T11:01:40Z")
IRL… sigh, damn myself, you couldn’t get me to do it IFL… I’d do it for free as long as not 1 single member of my family knew… EVER! (thus making IRL impossible) I would want to do “The Erotic Adventures of Marco Polo” Get the whole east-west thing going. I’d rather write and direct but I’d be willing to co-create. Ooh, I’d also film it for play at the Omni museum (for those who’ve been you know why, for those who haven’t it’s WAY better then IMAX} Quality actors and actresses. I would really go all out for sets and costumes. The only realistis thing I wouldn’t allow is unshaved armpits…WAY TOO MANLY. Although if I had no family to worry about and was going to approached to do one of those cheesy ones they make now…sure, standard pay although I’d prefer a little Julie Ashton…Chasey Lain…maybe someone French. Why not I’m not going to make anything important out of my life anyway. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/34 "2001-04-23T12:25:54Z")
From what I can gather the actual going rate for male performers isn’t too much at all so I won’t price myself out of the market. Give me $500 for one day’s work, fly me to Tahiti for the shoot (I’m a sucker for a tropical island), and Salma Hayek, Daisy Fuentes, or Sophia Loren in her prime for my co-star. I’m seeing an adult version of “Blue Lagoon” as my storyline. Is it hot in here, or is just me? Could someone turn the heat down a little, please. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/35 "2001-04-23T13:20:03Z")
No amount of money. Nope. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/36 "2001-04-23T14:11:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zsofia \* > the men cannot, I repeat, **cannot** , look like any male straight porn star I’ve ever seen. A. MEN. SISTER. I have a great porn at home that has the hottest German chicks in it. It would be the best porn ever if not for the ‘lead’ guy who LOOKS EXACTLY like KENNY FUCKING G. COME ON PEOPLE…where’s the Hugh Jackman look a like porn star? jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/37 "2001-04-23T14:21:26Z")
They would have to pay 100.000 US Dollar (after tax), that’s about 1.000.000 in Swedish Krones. And I would only do it with… **Montfort** of course. But the question is, would someone really be interested to see it? No, I don’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/38 "2001-04-23T14:32:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _From plnnr_ > **From what I can gather the actual going rate for male performers isn’t too much at all** Well dang! There goes my asking price of $30,000. Just enough to pay off my student loans. Guess I’d have to make several films in order to do that. Which I would. I’m too easy. I don’t know about conditions of production; I guess maybe nothing too out of the mainstream. Fetish videos are out, I guess, but other than that - lay the story out and we’ll talk. (TMI alert: I _did_ answer an ad in the City Paper once for a local production company, but never showed up for the appointment. This was years ago, though.) Feh, if I’d ever gone into the business I’d probably end up on the streets sucking men off for my next heroin fix. **Anniz** : Don’t judge yourself too harshly. There are… some of us… who would buy that video, I’m sure. [sub]Oh, _this_ ought to make the next Lunch Bunch interesting…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/39 "2001-04-23T15:01:34Z")
I would require enough money to cover the costs of legally changing my name to “Dick Canbanger.” I would require the presence of sane, intelligent women who actually want to have sex with me. I’m curious to see what said women are like… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/40 "2001-04-23T15:01:38Z")
2 million for starters. It would have to have me in at least 1 sex scene with all of the female porn stars I’ve ever wanted including: Tara Monroe Tiffany Towers Chloe Vevier Kim Eternity and many more (Too many to name them all here). I would have to be allowed to wear a mask. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798.md?page=3)