# Porno movie....and YOU'RE the star! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 21, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798 "2001-04-21T19:37:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/41 "2001-04-23T15:44:06Z")
I would accept an industry standard salary. For costars I have many ideas, including many, many female Dopers including the OP. _Especially_ the OP. I won’t name the others, except to say that most of them have already weighed in on this thread. If I could get them all on the same project, that would be great, but given their asking prices I may have to settle for one or two. Of course the storyling will involve D/s and plenty of leather, vinyl and latex. I’m not the least bit concerned about my family finding out. When would they ever be in a place where they’d see my video on the shelf? Or read a review of it? Even if they did, they’d be too embarrassed to confront me with the knowledge, so either way I’m off the hook. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/42 "2001-04-23T16:04:45Z")
But of course, what I really want is to direct. ---
**Author:** ![todaystomsawyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@todaystomsawyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/todaystomsawyer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/43 "2001-04-23T18:55:26Z")
I’d do it… I’ve always wanted to. Just pay me the industry standard, which I hear is’nt much for the men, but what the hell…I’d like Chasey Lain and Jenna Jameson for starters, and what the hell, I’ll accept photos for consideration to participate. 🆒 Uhhh, females only. ---
**Author:** ![todaystomsawyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@todaystomsawyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/todaystomsawyer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/44 "2001-04-23T18:56:59Z")
I’d do it… I’ve always wanted to. Just pay me the industry standard, which I hear is’nt much for the men, but what the hell…I’d like Chasey Lain and Jenna Jameson for starters, and what the hell, I’ll accept photos for consideration to participate. 🆒 Uhhh, females only. Im up for anything off the wall, too. ---
**Author:** ![todaystomsawyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@todaystomsawyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/todaystomsawyer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/45 "2001-04-23T18:57:42Z")
I’d do it… I’ve always wanted to. Just pay me the industry standard, which I hear is’nt much for the men, but what the hell…I’d like Chasey Lain and Jenna Jameson for starters, and what the hell, I’ll accept photos for consideration to participate. 🆒 Uhhh, females only. Im up for anything off the wall, too. Some pain mixed in with the pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/46 "2001-04-24T05:24:22Z")
1. 500$ a “scene” 2. safe, no guys, I get to do a tacky French-Canadian accent… Like todaystomsawyer (RUSH!), I am able to do it three times. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/47 "2001-04-24T05:32:59Z")
Did I mention my “Prison Bitch” nickname is Long Dong Kong? see: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68520](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68520) ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/48 "2001-04-24T05:35:05Z")
Woohoo! Three times! I’ve still got it! (passes out) ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/49 "2001-04-24T07:09:28Z")
You mean, I’m supposed to get paid, not the other way around. Damn! ---
**Author:** ![Epistaxis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Epistaxis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epistaxis)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/50 "2001-04-24T08:01:16Z")
My price? I’d pay up to $1000 to get a spot in a porno. ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/51 "2001-04-24T08:11:46Z")
All they’d have to pay me is $10,000 per flick and it’d have to be Asian women. Other than that they can do whatever they want. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/52 "2001-04-24T21:41:04Z")
1. My asking price is $2 million, as well. 2. Kirsten Dunst 3. Jessica Alba 4. Alyssa Milano 5. It would have to feature a wrestling scene between Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears 6. A plot 7. Decent dialogue 8. Christa Miller 9. No porn stars 10. Drew Barrymore 11. Light B&D overtones ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/53 "2001-04-25T00:10:13Z")
Good grief! All that, **AND** 2 million dollars??? Wow. I’m speechless. You’d have to be damned good to get that! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/54 "2001-04-25T00:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GuanoLad \* > Good grief! All that, **AND** 2 million dollars??? > > Wow. I’m speechless. You’d have to be damned good to get that! No kidding Guano…come on Superdude…show us what you’re packing to be worth $2 mil. 😃 jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/55 "2001-04-25T02:44:37Z")
… but I’ll try. Of course, I’d have to star _and_ direct, with a contract to include residuals on all VHS, DVD, and streaming internet video proceeds, in perpetuity. The cast shall include: [ul] [li]The entire stable of Vivid Girls,[/li][li]The female cast of Ally McBeal,[/li][li]6 well-endowed non-English-speaking woodsmen,[/li][li]Anne Robinson, from The Weakest Link,[/li][li]Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee (they deserve a chance to get it right), and[/li][li]Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog (Master of Ceremonies).[/li][/ul] All cast shall have tested negative for all STDs within 14 days prior to the shoot. (This may be waived for Tommy, but he and Pam will have to be relegated to a cameo.) The following items shall have to be supplied: [ul] [li]An unlimited supply of Viagra for myself and the other male talent (no limp gimps on _my_ set),[/li][li]Seven Super Soakers, and a supply of Active Culture Acidophilous Milk,[/li][li]One [Sybian](http://www.sybian.com/sybian_overview.htm) (no pushing in line, ladies),[/li][li]One leather dominatrix outfit, with crop (sized for Anne Robinson),[/li][li]Enough assorted fresh sushi to cover Lucy Liu from neck to mons veneris,[/li][li]An appropriately-trained buckskin stallion, and[/li][li]A mated pair of white doves, separated for 24 hours prior to filming.[/li][/ul] Finally, the set shall be one or more of the following locations: [ul] [li]A secluded Molokai beach,[/li][li]An operating steel mill,[/li][li]The pool area of the Las Vegas Tropicana,[/li][li]A field of California Poppies, or preferably[/li][li]International Space Station Alpha.[/li][/ul] With these conditions met, I could make a fortune. ---
**Author:** ![Jus\_lookin\_Round](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jus\_lookin\_Round](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jus_lookin_Round)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/56 "2001-04-25T06:07:25Z")
Is willing to volunteer as cameraman or “Key Grip”! ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/57 "2001-04-25T09:37:18Z")
Being a cameraman at one of these things is more trouble than it’s worth - you’re not allowed to join in! Argh! ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/58 "2001-04-25T10:49:38Z")
Well. When I was stationed in Germany, I actually got to be in a couple of German porno flicks 😃 The pay was VERY minimal, about $100 U.S. and you HAD to be AIDS/STD tested prior to them letting you on the set. All in all, it was VERY cool. Lots of cool European accents and whatnot. Some B/D and D/S and a lot of sex toys. To be honest, the people in the flicks were just normal looking people, unlike AMERICAN made porn which is nothing but a bunch of butt-ugly guys and silicon implanted women with ridiculously long fingernails. The shoots took anywhere from one to three days and we usually all ended up at a local bar afterwards. Yeah, I know, TMI but what the hell 😃 Xploder ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/59 "2001-04-25T13:29:14Z")
> [@](#): > > GuanoLad said: > Good grief! All that, AND 2 million dollars??? > > Wow. I’m speechless. You’d have to be damned good to get that! > [@](#): > > jarbabyj said: > No kidding, Guano…come on Superdude…show us what you’re packing to be worth $2 mil. > > jarbaby Ah, ah, ah…a guy’s got to have SOME secrets. I guess you all will have to wait until filming starts. There are a few from here that I’d be willing to substitute for the above mentioned celebrities, but I won’t reveal who they are…😉 WEG ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798/60 "2001-04-25T14:16:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Xploder \* > Well. When I was stationed in Germany, I actually got to be in a couple of German porno flicks 😃 Hey Xploder…how YOU doin’? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/porno-movie-and-youre-the-star/62798.md?page=4)