# Portland spurned! (Beware--scary old-style Pit thread inside!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 1, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169 "2007-07-01T22:44:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/1 "2007-07-01T22:44:24Z")
We are the home of the “Simpsons”, ghodamit! Every fucking name on that show is taking from Portland history, and yet we weren’t good enough to get a [Kwik-E-Mart](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070701/ap_on_bi_ge/7_eleven_kwik_e_mart_4;_ylt=Aq1SV_oiiAXGqUe7YHcGBPQE1vAI) . ---
**Author:** ![The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Universe_Lashes_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/2 "2007-07-01T22:50:18Z")
> [@](#): > > But they won’t find Duff beer, the brand chugged by Homer Simpson. The movie will be rated PG-13, and selling a Simpson-themed beer “didn’t seem to fit,” said Rita Bargerhuff, a 7-Eleven marketing executive. “That was a tough call, but we want to make sure it’s considered good, responsible fun.” Aww, man. They would have made so much money on that. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/3 "2007-07-01T23:28:16Z")
I thought Portland was the home of black-tar heroin. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/4 "2007-07-02T00:04:00Z")
_Portland_? \<\\> From the movie trailer: Ned Flanders: Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky! Everyone knows Portland is in Maine, so could hardly _border on_ Maine! ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/5 "2007-07-02T00:38:14Z")
Great, now I get to feel spurned, too? Geez. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/6 "2007-07-02T00:46:18Z")
Save your anger for when they pick a Springfield different than you wanted to host the premiere. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/7 "2007-07-02T03:35:35Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] _Portland_? \<\\> From the movie trailer: Ned Flanders: Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky! Everyone knows Portland is in Maine, so could hardly _border on_ Maine! [/QUOTE] Actually, we just let you borrow the name until we needed it. Which reminds me-when are y’all going to get your own name so’s to end the confusion? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/8 "2007-07-02T04:37:44Z")
hee hee…you said spurned. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/9 "2007-07-02T04:44:42Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] I thought Portland was the home of black-tar heroin. [/QUOTE] **Lib** , my longtime friend, that may be the first time you broke me up. And forced me to Google before I made a fool of myself, though that has never been a limiting factor. No, I lied. It wasn’t the first time you made me Google. ☹ Just the first time I did it and proved you had successfully pulled a factoid out of your ass. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/10 "2007-07-02T05:22:57Z")
I got lucky. I’d just seen an hour long special on runaways in Portland. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/11 "2007-07-02T05:27:20Z")
Anyway, isn’t Springfield, to quote Fox Mulder, in “America’s heartland”? Since when was Oregon in America’s heartland? (If you’re not talking about Oregon, it’s your fault for not saying which Portland!) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/12 "2007-07-02T07:37:42Z")
Haw-Haw! ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/13 "2007-07-02T08:25:06Z")
[QUOTE=Leaper] Anyway, isn’t Springfield, to quote Fox Mulder, in “America’s heartland”? Since when was Oregon in America’s heartland? (If you’re not talking about Oregon, it’s your fault for not saying which Portland!) [/QUOTE] So which Springfield in the ‘heartland’ has an ocean port and a mountain next to it? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/14 "2007-07-02T10:25:36Z")
[QUOTE=Czarcasm] We are the home of the “Simpsons”, ghodamit! Every fucking name on that show is taking from Portland history, and yet we weren’t good enough to get a [Kwik-E-Mart](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070701/ap_on_bi_ge/7_eleven_kwik_e_mart_4;_ylt=Aq1SV_oiiAXGqUe7YHcGBPQE1vAI) . [/QUOTE] If Portland is Springfield, then why doesn’t Homer trip over 150 homeless youths on his way to Moe’s? ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/15 "2007-07-02T13:46:12Z")
[Nelson Muntz/]Ha-ha![/Nelson Muntz] Sorry, but you knew _somebody_ was going to do it. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/16 "2007-07-02T15:23:37Z")
I thought it was based on Springfield, OR, a town that was once home to a young man whose name called to mind the word “brat,” his sisters Lisa and Maggie, and his parents Homer and Marge. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/17 "2007-07-02T17:26:29Z")
There’s a kwik-e-mart near me. Anyone want me to go and get photos? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/18 "2007-07-02T17:42:30Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] There’s a kwik-e-mart near me. Anyone want me to go and get photos? [/QUOTE] Yes! Especially if they have a Squishy Machine! (I think you should also get an all syrup squishy!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/19 "2007-07-02T17:45:13Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I thought it was based on Springfield, OR, a town that was once home to a young man whose name called to mind the word “brat,” his sisters Lisa and Maggie, and his parents Homer and Marge. [/QUOTE] Actually, Groening grew up in Portland. Look at it this way, **Czarcasm** : Springfield is America’s crud bucket. It’s a city of fat, stupid, greedy yokels who’ll riot for any reason they can think of, elect mayors who are either illiterate dope-smoking tax cheats or convicted felons… do you really want to be compared to that? Isn’t it good enough knowing your town inspired it? As for me, I’ll be frequenting the Kwik-E-Mart in Times Square, nine blocks away from my office. Not rubbing it in or anything. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169/20 "2007-07-02T17:56:12Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] Actually, Groening grew up in Portland. [/QUOTE] True, but [he was born in Springfield.](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004981/bio) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/portland-spurned-beware-scary-old-style-pit-thread-inside/410169.md?page=2)