# Possible to be a feminist without believing in rape culture/patriarchy?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-be-a-feminist-without-believing-in-rape-culture-patriarchy/631369>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [August 13, 2012, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-be-a-feminist-without-believing-in-rape-culture-patriarchy/631369 "2012-08-13T12:06:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 9

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**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\
**Post date:** [August 17, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-be-a-feminist-without-believing-in-rape-culture-patriarchy/631369/161 "2012-08-17T18:56:05Z")

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> [@jlzania](#):
>
> You’re kidding, right? Because I thought it was fairly obvious that I wasn’t the least little bit offended.

Yes, don’t worry, I’m massively kidding. It was a feminism joke.

Back to flirting, baby. You look hot in those farmer jeans. Sure would like to plow your field, honey.

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**Author:** ![Whittles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Whittles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whittles)\
**Post date:** [August 17, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-be-a-feminist-without-believing-in-rape-culture-patriarchy/631369/162 "2012-08-17T20:05:04Z")

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I am a feminist. I believe that while many women don’t consider themselves as such, they really are. First wave feminists opened the doors for us. We still have a ways to go (still fighting pay gaps, glass ceiling, etc), but in this day and age I think feminism mostly revolves around choice. Choice being the fact that we are able to make our own choices. My mom considers herself a feminist, despite cooking dinner for my step dad every night. I consider myself a feminist but I would love to be a stay at home mom some day, etc. It opened the doors for us to make these choices—There is nothing wrong with wanting to embrace a gender role if it’s what YOU want to do. My beef is with feminists who attack me for wanting that lifestyle later on, who are a part of Le Leche’s pro-breast feeding advocacy group where they basically belittle women who cannot/choose not to breast feed, etc. Try not to create a matriarchy that is as equally as bad as the patriarchy you complain about so often!

Also, while I don’t believe a rape culture exists, I DO believe that we are very lenient about rape—jokes, permissions, victim blaming/slut shaming, etc. I think we need to be less separated and desensitized about it, much like many other aspects of our culture (violence, gore, war, death, etc).

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