# Possible to steal a satellite? Stranger, you are being paged... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 17, 2014, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948 "2014-03-17T20:39:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/21 "2014-09-07T13:15:50Z")
I think it’s really cool a guy named \*\*Dr. Strangelove \*\*has his own orbiting battle station. Even if its weapons are really, really, tiny & weak. Its at least a start. But I think one of the rules of successful super-villainy is to avoid using names which would call attention to oneself. Likewise advertising your plans or capabilities on the internet is also one of the rules to avoid breaking. Oh well … ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/22 "2014-09-07T14:23:37Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > But I think one of the rules of successful super-villainy is to avoid using names which would call attention to oneself. Yes, but if you call yourself “ **Dr. Really Nice Guy Who Totally Respects Your Feeling AND Loves Kittens** ” then how are you going to recruit henchmen? Plus, the Evil Lair Real Estate Agency won’t return your calls, and Evil Con keeps ‘losing’ your registration form. It’s tough to make connections… ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/23 "2014-09-07T17:20:18Z")
> [@nevadaexile](#): > > It’s the plot of the film the film _ **You Only Live Twice.** _. It’s also not dissimilar to the plot of [Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol](http://csis.org/blog/nuclear-weapons-mission-impossible-ghost-protocol). ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/24 "2014-09-07T17:50:32Z")
**Zakalwe** : Agreed. That is a problem. “Dr. Strangelove” is maybe a compromise name; sorta evil, yet plausibly deniable. Especially when networking with younger folks who never saw the movie or read the book. Further, on much belated proof-reading I see I fouled up 2 of my 3 its/it’s. Sheesh; I know better than that. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/25 "2014-09-07T18:24:15Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I think it’s really cool a guy named \*\*Dr. Strangelove \*\*has his own orbiting battle station. Even if its weapons are really, really, tiny & weak. Its at least a start. > > But I think one of the rules of successful super-villainy is to avoid using names which would call attention to oneself. Likewise advertising your plans or capabilities on the internet is also one of the rules to avoid breaking. Oh well … > [@Zakalwe](#): > > Yes, but if you call yourself “ **Dr. Really Nice Guy Who Totally Respects Your Feeling AND Loves Kittens** ” then how are you going to recruit henchmen? Plus, the Evil Lair Real Estate Agency won’t return your calls, and Evil Con keeps ‘losing’ your registration form. It’s tough to make connections… Yeah, he should had used Dr. Merkwürdigliebe… [spoiler]“Bilingual Bonus: Dr. Strangelove’s name used to be Merkwürdigliebe before he moved to the US and had it changed. Merkwürdigliebe translates as strange love.” > **[Dr. Strangelove](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/DrStrangelove)** > > Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb is a 1964 Black Comedy film directed by Stanley Kubrick. Its plot is largely taken from the 1958 novel Red Alert by Peter George, who co-wrote the film's screenplay with Kubrick … [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/26 "2014-09-07T18:43:25Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > But I think one of the rules of successful super-villainy is to avoid using names which would call attention to oneself. Likewise advertising your plans or capabilities on the internet is also one of the rules to avoid breaking. Oh well … How curious! I thought using the titular name from such a fun and family-friendly movie as **Dr. Strangelove** would be excellent cover. He is, after all, the most sensible and heroic character in the film, even if he does have rather sentimental views on the survival of humanity. If _I_ had my own salt mine… ho ho ho! What a lair I could build! Though now that I think about it, the main difference between my lair and his shelter is that mine would instead be filled with loyal minions. And **Dr. Strangelove** is the one proposing an algorithmic selection algorithm–one that could easily be tweaked in his favor. Clever bastard! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/27 "2014-09-07T18:45:53Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I think it’s really cool a guy named \*\*Dr. Strangelove \*\*has his own orbiting battle station. Even if its weapons are really, really, tiny & weak. Its at least a start. Orbiting battle station? I’ll have you know that it is a _beamed solar energy platform_. Hippies love it! And if anyone objects, I’ll win them over by beaming some free energy right to their house. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/28 "2014-09-07T18:55:37Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > Space Station Defies Humans, Launches Satellites Without Permission > > [Space Station Defies Humans, Launches Satellites Without Permission](http://gizmodo.com/space-station-defies-humans-launches-satellites-withou-1631443009) BTW, the whole “cubesat cannon” system is built by a company called NanoRacks, which acts as a go-between between private organizations and NASA. You write them a check and give them a cubesat. They test it, integrate it, and all the other stuff that needs to happen before a cubesat goes to space. The launchers get loaded up on a Dragon or Cygnus capsule and it ends up on the ISS. They were our provider as well, and while they did a good job in the end they did seem a little scatterbrained as an organization, so something like this isn’t a complete surprise. We were _almost_ launched using [this hi-tech method](http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2014/0818/Tiny-cube-satellite-launched-by-hand-Nano-nano-video). I would have liked to see pictures of a Russian chucking the satellite like a baseball. I’m not sure if it’s more or less reliable than the NanoRacks method… ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/29 "2014-09-07T21:09:58Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > Orbiting battle station? I’ll have you know that it is a _beamed solar energy platform_. Hippies love it! And if anyone objects, I’ll win them over by beaming some free energy right to their house. Your generosity knows no bounds, Your Excellency. Perhaps you need a deputy [strikethrough]super-villain[/strikethrough] watch officer to spell you during overnight hours at your lair? I’d be honored … ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/30 "2014-09-07T22:35:53Z")
Hijacking satellites is also plot point in John Michael Greer’s _Twilight’s Last Gleaming_: > [@](#): > > Analysts long before the war had noted China’s intense interest in antisatellite technology. After the war was over, however, it turned out that what took out the US satellite system was not advanced technology but old-fashioned espionage. Chinese agents more than a decade earlier had managed to infiltrate the National Reconnaissance Office, the branch of the US intelligence community that managed the nation’s spy satellites, and data obtained by those agents enabled Chinese computer scientists to hack into the electronic system that controlled US military satellites in orbit and shut the whole network down, robbing US units around the world of their communications and reconnaissance capabilities. Within minutes, cyberwarfare teams were at work, but it took them most of a day to get a first trickle of data coming in, and more than a week to get all the satellites fully operational again—and that was time the US invasion force no longer had. Greer’s spun it out into a book but you can read the original series on [his blog,](http://thearchdruidreport.blogspot.co.nz/2012/10/how-it-could-happen-part-one-hubris.html)it’s a brisk and entertaining read. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948/31 "2014-09-08T16:29:58Z")
If a private (non-state) actor somehow was able to physically get to space and make off with a satellite, how would jurisdiction be determined for a subsequent trial? Iirc, space law normally follows the jurisdiction of the ship - so a person flying a Russian spaceship out of Russia remains under Russian jurisdiction. But what if said astronaut steals a Japanese satellite? Would Japanese courts have jurisdiction to charge them with the theft, or would it have to go before a Russian court? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possible-to-steal-a-satellite-stranger-you-are-being-paged/683948.md?page=1)