# Possibly brilliant ad campaigns that never happened **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2018, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149 "2018-04-26T08:24:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/1 "2018-04-26T08:24:35Z")
Cuckoo Puffs: special edition Cocoa Puffs featuring [Coco](https://www.scribblefun.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/coco-coloring-pages.jpg) instead of Sonny. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/2 "2018-04-26T09:28:01Z")
Well, if you found those anywhere, it would be at the [Museum of Failure](http://failuremuseum.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/3 "2018-04-26T10:45:15Z")
Rosie Ruiz pantyhose; guaranteed not to run. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/4 "2018-04-26T11:22:13Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Cuckoo Puffs: special edition Cocoa Puffs featuring [Coco](https://www.scribblefun.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/coco-coloring-pages.jpg) instead of Sonny. Or it could feature [a gorilla grabbing William Shatner’s balls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWCN8-cVLSU). ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/5 "2018-04-26T11:45:38Z")
The people at Heinz have ignored my suggestion for an ad campaign. The ads feature nasty people asking for ketchup; when asked what brand they say it doesn’t matter. Each commercial ends with the tag line, “Heinz. Because Hunts is for c\*nts” (with “cunts” being bleeped out by background sounds). ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/6 "2018-04-26T12:09:20Z")
Similarly, I have thought about a government program encouraging the reporting of crimes by providing informants with free access to prostitutes. The program would be called “Snitches Get Bitches.” ---
**Author:** ![Fleetwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fleetwood/32/271_2.png) [@Fleetwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleetwood)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/7 "2018-04-26T16:08:52Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > The people at Heinz have ignored my suggestion for an ad campaign. The ads feature nasty people asking for ketchup; when asked what brand they say it doesn’t matter. Each commercial ends with the tag line, “Heinz. Because Hunts is for c\*nts” (with “cunts” being bleeped out by background sounds). It saddens me when true genius goes unapprecieated. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/8 "2018-04-26T16:48:28Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > Rosie Ruiz pantyhose; guaranteed not to run. Snerk! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/9 "2018-04-26T17:26:33Z")
Personally, I think KFC should have ran with Oswalt’s “Failure Pile in a Bowl of Sadness”. I give points to any company that doesn’t take themselves too seriously. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/10 "2018-04-26T18:06:06Z")
I don’t think anyone has advertised nuclear weapons with the tagline “This thing is the bomb. No, **really**.” ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-brilliant-ad-campaigns-that-never-happened/813149/11 "2018-04-26T20:04:33Z")
In the UK these days we have incessant TV ads for gambling websites (really - it’s a rare ad break that doesn’t have at least one). Addiction problems, you might think. Not at all, because they guide you to the website [gambleaware.co.uk](http://gambleaware.co.uk), and tell you: “When the fun stops, stop.” So, as this solves the problem, I guess we’re safe to have TV ads for heroin now. Just remember, when the fun stops, stop. j