# Post a random quote **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 7, 2012, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073 "2012-04-07T12:08:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/81 "2012-04-10T17:53:25Z")
Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/82 "2012-04-10T18:34:58Z")
“There’s no principle built into the laws of nature that says theoretical physicists have to be happy.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/83 "2012-04-10T19:00:15Z")
“I stopped trying to drown my sorrows years ago when I learned that all sorrows can float, several can tread water, some can swim, and a few can perform CPR on their fellow sorrows.” – pinkfreud ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/84 "2012-04-10T19:43:41Z")
“Hold it right there, Slick. I don’t do cakes, okay? I don’t _bake_ 'em, and I don’t _jump out of_ 'em!” ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/85 "2012-04-11T01:41:08Z")
The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors. – Thomas Jefferson ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/86 "2012-04-11T02:03:17Z")
"Other planets have moons with dynamite names like “Phobos” and “Titan”. What do we call our moon? “The moon”. It’s an embarrassment. – Robert L. Park. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/87 "2012-04-11T02:05:19Z")
It’s hard to learn when you’ve got cinnamon for brains. – Poptart box. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/88 "2012-04-11T02:06:22Z")
There’s nothing on top but a bucket and a mop and an illustrated book about birds. I will make no bargains with terrorist hardware. There is no such thing as luck, there is only chance, and what chance do you stand! Laughing at you is like drop-kicking a wounded humming bird. Let the Bodice Hit the Floor This a zit? Deny the knights! Bob Barker University: “Remember to spay and neuter your undergrads” The Desert Road is a rather new, four-lane highway with a tollbooth at each end - tollbooths in the middle not being necessary because if you get off in the middle, you will die. “In the early 1970’s, two young men, both of them Vietnam War veterans, go camping in the Sierra Nevada in California, about a mile from a Girl Scout campground. The second afternoon of their stay, one of the men breaks out in chills, sweats, and violent shivering, like he had experienced a few times in Vietnam. About a week later, in the San Francisco Bay area, six Girl Scouts become ill, with high fevers, severe headaches, and violent shivering.” ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/89 "2012-04-11T02:06:25Z")
Figure 4.4 shows partitioning of the drive using an ordinary hacksaw. – Tom Murphy VII “The Illustrated Guide to Breaking Your Computer”. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/90 "2012-04-11T02:10:58Z")
We could make “apathy” a Core Value around here, if only we gave a flying [fig]. – WJW, a friend of mine who probably doesn’t want to be googly associated with this quote. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/91 "2012-04-11T02:11:59Z")
The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club. – xkcd ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/92 "2012-04-11T02:12:38Z")
[And just in case my point you have missed Somehow I preferred (CDR (ASSQ KEY A-LIST))](http://paste.lisp.org/display/2405) ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/93 "2012-04-11T02:49:52Z")
School prepares you for the real world, which also sucks. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/94 "2012-04-11T03:15:23Z")
“For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is-to live dangerously.” Nietzsche ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/95 "2012-04-11T03:40:50Z")
> [@Karen\_Lingel](#): > > Figure 4.4 shows partitioning of the drive using an ordinary hacksaw. > > – Tom Murphy VII > “The Illustrated Guide to Breaking Your Computer”. I just looked that one up via the wayback archives. Oh my goodness. Thanks for the laughs! ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/96 "2012-04-11T04:22:16Z")
You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ve got on the job training. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/97 "2012-04-11T04:55:58Z")
> [@](#): > > I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. Jane Austen, letter to her sister Cassandra (1798-12-24) > [@](#): > > The average intellectual of the Left believed, for instance, that the war was lost in 1940, that the Germans were bound to overrun Egypt in 1942, that the Japanese would never be driven out of the lands they had conquered, and that the Anglo-American bombing offensive was making no impression on Germany. He could believe these things because his hatred for the British ruling class forbade him to admit that British plans could succeed. There is no limit to the follies that can be swallowed if one is under the influence of feelings of this kind. I have heard it confidently stated, for instance, that the American troops had been brought to Europe not to fight the Germans but to crush an English revolution. One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man could be such a fool. George Orwell, _Notes on Nationalism_ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/98 "2012-04-11T13:29:04Z")
“The Lord loves a workin’ man; don’t trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/99 "2012-04-11T14:49:15Z")
“Mr Hickock that man is really _dead_!” ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073/100 "2012-04-11T15:17:15Z")
“Bloody, singed, _and_ dripping wet. Now I know we have a crisis!” –Widow Cleppetania [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-a-random-quote/618073.md?page=6)