# Post disrespectful summaries of well-regarded works you don't like **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 8, 2009, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076 "2009-06-08T07:04:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Elyanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5ac83/32.png) [@Elyanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elyanna)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/61 "2009-06-10T03:31:17Z")
[Hills Like White Elephants](http://www.moonstar.com/~acpjr/Blackboard/Common/Stories/WhiteElephants.html) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/62 "2009-06-10T07:23:24Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > I once described Gone with the Wind as an un-watchable movie about an unpleasant, egotistical, heartless, social-climbing bitch who stepped on _everyone_ to get her way. Then my sister-in-law hit me. So I guess I’m in a slim minority about that particular flick. 😉 No, I think your sister-in-law is in the minority. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/63 "2009-06-10T09:39:14Z")
> [@chacoguy420](#): > > You got a problem with people worshiping rivers? > > Huh? Do ya? > > Wanna make something of it? Worship a river? Bah! What does _it_ care if the world’s got troubles? ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/64 "2009-06-10T10:21:37Z")
> [@Elyanna](#): > > [Hills Like White Elephants](http://www.moonstar.com/~acpjr/Blackboard/Common/Stories/WhiteElephants.html) Thanks! Summary still stands. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/65 "2009-06-10T11:01:13Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > I once described Gone with the Wind as an un-watchable movie about an unpleasant, egotistical, heartless, social-climbing bitch who stepped on _everyone_ to get her way. Then my sister-in-law hit me. So I guess I’m in a slim minority about that particular flick. 😉 Perhaps not. I finally watched that movie because I thought I should, and I couldn’t finish it. Mostly because I thought, “I HATE this woman. Why am I wasting perfectly good time on this?” ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/66 "2009-06-10T15:06:48Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Worship a river? Bah! What does _it_ care if the world’s got troubles? It _must_ know somethin’. It don’t _say_ nothin’… ---
**Author:** ![davidw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c4cdca/32.png) [@davidw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidw)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/67 "2009-06-10T15:45:57Z")
> [@Reverse](#): > > Lord of the Rings: > > A group of heroes try to destroy a magical ring to stop the forces of evil from taking over the world, but enough about that, let me spend the next couple of dozen pages to describe this lovely swamp. Good God, that’s perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/68 "2009-06-10T15:54:02Z")
_Battlestar Galactica_: 4 years of dodging robots, 'splosions, frakking, nice side-boobage, some dope smoking…with a pansy-ass limp dick ending that blew goats. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/69 "2009-06-10T16:23:55Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > No, I think your sister-in-law is in the minority. [about Gone with the Wind My mother, a black woman born in the late 30s, liked GWTW. She would have said, though, that if you watch the movie thinking you’re supposed to LIKE the characters, you’re confused. You’re supposed to hold everyone (except Mammy) in contempt, and when Rhett leaves Scarlett at the end, you’re supposed to snicker for a moment and then say, “That’s not HALF what you deserve, woman!” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/70 "2009-06-10T16:24:56Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > _Battlestar Galactica_: 4 years of dodging robots, 'splosions, frakking, nice side-boobage, some dope smoking…with a pansy-ass limp dick ending that blew goats. What the–? I thought you were the big BGS fan! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/71 "2009-06-10T16:29:31Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > What the–? > > I thought you were the big BGS fan! I was…until the pansy ass limp dick ending that blew goats. Really most of Season 4 was going downhill, with a few good episodes sprinkled in. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/72 "2009-06-10T20:56:11Z")
Ugly girl (UG) with no prospects falls for ugly boy (UB) whose main attribute is he has lots of money. No clue what he sees in her, except that she’s not batshit crazy like his wife (BC). Oh, did I forget the wife? UB has a wife locked up. She’s gone crazy and likes to set fire to him, guess she’s pissed about being locked up. UB decides that wife being batshit crazy is grounds for pretending she never existed, and rationalizes this means he should be allowed to commit bigamy. Guess he figures that UG isn’t getting any better offers, prettier girl might have a chance at someone else. UG’s virtue is saved at the altar by BC’s brother, similarly saving UB from a prison sentence for bigamy. BC continues with her hobby, ultimately burning down the house, killing herself, and blinding and maiming UB. UG decides to jump his bones now that bigamy isn’t an issue. Reader wishes BC wife had done the deed sooner, say around page 100. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/73 "2009-06-10T21:25:35Z")
Oh, God yes, **Jane Eyre**. “Oh, whatever shall I do?” Uh, remember that uncle you have in Spain and you’re his only heir? “Oh, my life is ruined! I have nowhere to turn!” Hey, you wanna open this letter from your uncle in Spain? “Darcy-no-Heathcliff-no-Willoughby-no-\*Rochester \*is married already! I have to stand out here in the rain!” Yeah. Sucks to be you. There was something about an uncle back in Chapter, oh, say, maybe 3, and a few times then, and… “Oh my God! My uncle in Spain died and I’m the sole heir!” Huh. What a satisfying resolution. ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/74 "2009-06-10T22:36:13Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > _Star Trek_ is a science-fiction television show and movie franchise that has appeared in a number of variations. No matter the variation, it involves some sort of space vessel, whose crew has adventures while travelling through space And one variation is about a space station, so there’s not even any traveling. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/75 "2009-06-10T23:00:13Z")
**Crime and Punishment** : Russian kills a chick, turns into Holden Caulfield. The end. **Portrait of Dorian Gray** : The main guy (can’t remember his name)- “Here is my opinion on EVERYTHING.” **The Harry Potters** : Harry- Here is some magical thing that was undiscovered for hundreds of years that I stumbled upon, and now evil henchmen are trying to kill me Friends- Don’t worry, we’ll bail you out of pretty much everything. Voldy- Henchmen! Kill the boy! Hechmen- (Tries to kill the boy) Audience- Wow Harry! They’re trying to kill you, you should kill them JKR- Nope not his nature. (Rinse and repeat 6 times) (7th book) Voldy- Fine I’ll just kill the boy! (Tries, backfires) Harry (and everyone)- What the hell just happened? Dumbledore (ghost)- Oh yeah, here’s something I could have told you since day one. Harry- Shit. **Twilight** : I’ve orgasmed over a sparkly vampire like 50 times. But at least we aren’t married! (By the way, I like Harry Potter and C&P; I just wanted to play the game) ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/76 "2009-06-11T01:31:56Z")
Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: A British guy is only funny by smug writing and making fun of science-fiction cliches. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/77 "2009-06-11T01:36:23Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > No one figured out the _The Truman Show_ was just a cover for _The Christof Show_. There was even a bigger dome outside of Truman’s dome, containing the unwitting crew and director, who thought they were filming Truman, but in fact were being filmed. > > And then outside of THAT dome… From the producers of _The Matrix_. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/78 "2009-06-11T01:53:43Z")
**Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass** RANDOM SHIT! RANDOM SHIT! RANDOM SHIT! It was a dream… ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/79 "2009-06-11T02:06:50Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > **Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass** > > RANDOM SHIT! RANDOM SHIT! RANDOM SHIT! It was a dream… No, that’s Season 8 of Dallas. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076/80 "2009-06-11T02:22:43Z")
**RENT** Whine whine whine we’re broke Whine whine whine we’ve got AIDS Whine whine whine we won’t work Whine whine whine we screw around and do needle drugs Whine whine whine maybe that’s why we’re broke and have AIDS Whine whine whine but it’s alright we can do that and still act contemptuous of those with jobs and health insurance and we should all be subsidized in our self involved sloth becaussssssssssse---- WE’RE ARTISTS!!! (You don’t believe me? Just ask us!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-disrespectful-summaries-of-well-regarded-works-you-dont-like/499076.md?page=5)