# Post riddles to entertain kids please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214 "2016-12-20T11:43:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/21 "2016-12-20T20:08:06Z")
> [@Stanislaus](#): > > Some classics: > > A bus from Northland crashes in Southland, killing all but 9 people. Where do they bury the survivors? > > Which is correct: the yolk of an egg is white, or the yolk of an egg are white? > > How much dirt is there in a hole 3ft by 4ft by 6ft? > > A cowboy rode into town on Monday, stayed two days, and left on Friday. How? > > You’re in a cold, dark room. You have an oil lamp, a paraffin stove, a gas fireplace, and one match. Which do you light first? > > What does M A C D O N A L D spell? What does M A C A R T H U R spell? What does M A C G R E G O R spell? What does M A C H I N E spell? (You’d be surprised how many people invent the clan MacHine at this point.) > > Say “ghost” ten times? What do you put in the toaster? Say “silk” ten times. What do cows drink? > > What’s always running, but never leaves its bed? > > What has teeth, but no mouth? 1. Southland. It’s really unfortunate that those people had to die in such a barbarous country, but the customs of Southland are very particular about including a shrieking attendant with each bus crash victim. 2. The yolk of an [albino snowhatch dragon] _is_ white. 3. Revolution and the change from the Julian to Gregorian calendar, naturally. 4. Your flashlight, to make sure you don’t muck up lighting the match. 5. Milk, until they’re weaned. 6. Twitchy coma patients. 7. A dentist’s shirt pocket. How did I do? ---
**Author:** ![edwards\_beard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@edwards\_beard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwards_beard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/22 "2016-12-20T20:13:46Z")
This is an oldie…and most likely invalid for kids these days…but, What is Darth Vader’s wife’s first name? Ella What kind of fruit can’t run away and get married? Actually…I can’t remember ---
**Author:** ![edwards\_beard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@edwards\_beard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwards_beard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/23 "2016-12-20T20:15:20Z")
> [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](#): > > 1. Southland. It’s really unfortunate that those people had to die in such a barbarous country, but the customs of Southland are very particular about including a shrieking attendant with each bus crash victim. > > 2. The yolk of an [albino snowhatch dragon] _is_ white. > > 3. Revolution and the change from the Julian to Gregorian calendar, naturally. > > 4. Your flashlight, to make sure you don’t muck up lighting the match. > > 5. Milk, until they’re weaned. > > 6. Twitchy coma patients. > > 7. A dentist’s shirt pocket. > > How did I do? You need to work on your counting ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/24 "2016-12-20T20:17:57Z")
Why would you never be hungry in the desert? Because of the sand which is there(sandwiches there) :smack: Why do crabs at the beach always wash their hands? Because of sandy claws(Santa Claus) 😉 How very arenaceous of me. I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitress. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/25 "2016-12-20T20:22:27Z")
> [@gregorio](#): > > How many balls of string does it take to reach the moon? > > One, but a really big one. Which reminded me of this classic from Cheech and Chong (which probably isn’t good for kids, but it still makes me giggle.) How many joints in a lid? Only 1 - I roll really big joints. Maybe a little dated?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/26 "2016-12-20T21:01:33Z")
> [@edwards\_beard](#): > > You need to work on your counting Combining off-the-cuff Dad-wit with the viewfinder range of my phone is not a winning recipe for thoroughness. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/27 "2016-12-20T21:04:29Z")
What is mostly green, has 8 legs, 4 eyes and big fangs? I don’t know either, but it’s crawling on your shoulder!::scream and run:: What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer (no idea) And the plethora of “What do you call a man with no arm or legs…” jokes based on names: …in the water? Bob …on the wall? Art …in front of the door? Matt …in a hole? Phil …under a car? Jack …on a package? Beau (particularly Christmassy!) …in the mailbox? Bill …after a lion attack? Claude …on a dirt road? Dusty …in a field? Glen …in a tree? Leif …in the weeds? Russell And for the ladies: What do you call… …a one legged woman? Eileen And for Mother Nature: …a two legged cow? Lean beef …a cow with no legs? Ground beef …a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway. Oh, I gots a million of 'em! ---
**Author:** ![edwards\_beard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@edwards\_beard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwards_beard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/28 "2016-12-20T21:32:25Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > What do you call a blind deer? > > No eye deer (no idea) > > ! What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/29 "2016-12-20T22:38:32Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > What’s red on the outside, white on the inside, and goes putt, putt, putt, putt. > > An outboard radish I am embarrassed by how much I laughed at this. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/30 "2016-12-20T22:40:23Z")
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi mmm ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/31 "2016-12-20T23:04:34Z")
> [@edwards\_beard](#): > > This is an oldie…and most likely invalid for kids these days…but, > > What is Darth Vader’s wife’s first name? > > Ella > > What kind of fruit can’t run away and get married? > > Actually…I can’t remember I think the fruit question answer is A cantaloupe. (can’t elope) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/32 "2016-12-20T23:14:21Z")
There’s also the classic, which is some riff on: “You’re a bus driver. At the first stop you pick up 17 passengers. At the second stop your drop off 5 passengers and pick up 7 more. At the third stop, 10 passengers get off, and 2 get on. What’s the name of the bus driver?” (Or how old is the bus driver or what color is the bus driver’s shirt, etc. If you missed it, it’s the first sentence that is important.) ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/33 "2016-12-20T23:36:07Z")
My granddaughter claims to have made this one up herself. If true, it was pretty clever for a first grader. What is a seal’s favorite subject? (said in a barking seal voice) Art! Art! ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/34 "2016-12-21T00:18:56Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > And for the ladies: > What do you call… > …a one legged woman? Eileen And for the racists: What do you call… … a one legged Japanese woman? Irene ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/35 "2016-12-21T00:44:20Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > And the plethora of “What do you call a man with no arm or legs…” jokes based on names: > …in the water? Bob > …on the wall? Art > …in front of the door? Matt > …in a hole? Phil > …under a car? Jack > …on a package? Beau (particularly Christmassy!) > …in the mailbox? Bill > …after a lion attack? Claude > …on a dirt road? Dusty > …in a field? Glen > …in a tree? Leif > …in the weeds? Russell What do you call a man with three eyes, two noses, one leg, and no ears? Anything you like, he can’t hear you ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/36 "2016-12-21T00:44:23Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Well, the one I can think of is the oldest: > > What goes on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening? > > A human being: Humans crawl on all fours in the dawn of their lives, walk on two legs in their prime, and use a cane in their twilight years. [A modern spin on it.](http://i.imgur.com/184Kxwg.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/37 "2016-12-21T03:31:13Z")
What stays in a corner yet can travel anywhere in the world? A stamp ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/38 "2016-12-21T06:16:13Z")
One of the classics that doesn’t work anymore: What’s black and white and read all over?Formerly, a newspaper, before they were printed in color and before they started to disappear from daily life What color eggs do peacocks lay? Peacocks don’t lay eggs. Peahens do. How many of each species of animal did Moses bring with him on the ark? None. It was Noah. How far can you walk into the forest? Halfway. After that, you’re walking _out_ of the forest You’re a-walking into the bathroom American and you’re a-coming out American. What are you when you’re in there? European Can a man living west of the Mississippi legally be buried east of the Mississippi? No, because he’s _living_. Why did the cow start going to the church with a Martian reverend? She was looking for greener pastors Who’s bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby? Mr. Bigger’s baby is just a little Bigger Why does the Russian get embarrassed whenever you open the refrigerator door? It’s dressing Why wouldn’t the potatoes let their daughter marry the news anchor? Because he’s just a common 'tater (commentator) Why are Santa’s caribou all wet? Rain, dear What does Frosty do with his money? He puts it in the snowbank ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/39 "2016-12-21T13:41:11Z")
Further thanks to all contributors (I laughed at many of them myself 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214/40 "2016-12-21T14:26:24Z")
> [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](#): > > 1. Revolution and the change from the Julian to Gregorian calendar, naturally. That’s actually 4 and nope: Monday and Friday are horses (hence the caps). This one needs to be played on the specific day: on december 31st, get the kids to start looking for a man with as many noses as days has the year. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-riddles-to-entertain-kids-please/775214.md?page=3)