# Post the stupidest things you hear Olympic announcers say **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 14, 2006, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429 "2006-02-14T08:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/1 "2006-02-14T08:42:01Z")
First off, we all know sports announcers say a lot of stupid things. That’s not new. But the Olympics provide us with whole new levels of stupid, and as the days and weeks drag on, the announcers begin to dribble out some real gems that simply must be recorded for posterity’s sake. I’ve heard two real standouts so far: #1 was referring to a speed skater, I think > [@](#): > > He told his coach he was already giving a hundred percent. His coach told him to give a hundred and TWENTY percent, and that’s when he realized he was only giving eighty percent. OK, even ignoring the highly questionable math, what does any of that MEAN? It’s one of the most pointless statements I’ve heard this week, outside of work. #2 is what prompted this thread. The announcer was talking about a Chinese figure skater who fell and then got up and continued skating. As opposed to, I guess, lying there and picking her nose until the music stopped. > [@](#): > > And so she showed us that even someone this slight can have a heart (long pause) as big (short pause) as an ice rink. Note that this was not said during the actual competition, but during a prerecorded “here’s what happened today” type thing. So our intrepid genius had all day to work up that script and polish that little nugget of brilliance. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/2 "2006-02-14T08:45:36Z")
Not stupid so much as just an oddity to me: whenever it’s a black athlete from American, the phrase “African-American” is always mentioned. However, if it’s a black athlete from Germany or France, notice that they never refer to race. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/3 "2006-02-14T08:56:38Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > And so she showed us that even someone this slight can have a heart (long pause) as big (short pause) as an ice rink. Was that Bob Costas? Because it sounds just like Bob Costas. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/4 "2006-02-14T09:08:49Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Was that Bob Costas? Because it sounds just like Bob Costas. I’m not sure. It was just a voiceover. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/5 "2006-02-14T13:54:37Z")
Not sure who it was, but the CBC guy doing the 500m speed skating was driving me bananas. Apparently in this two turn race, the guy with the inside of the last turn had the advantage. In fact, he said “XXX is on the inside, that’s an advantage” EVERY SINGLE RACE! Dude, after the first four races we got the drift! ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/6 "2006-02-14T14:01:16Z")
The snowboard announcer on NBC. Talking about some jump a guy will be doing: “And next he’ll try the difficult 1260. That’s four complete turns in the air!” The curling announcer on USA (I forget the network, but I’ve decided I want to be a Curling Hooligan for the next Olympics. Anyway…). “Oh, no, I don’t like that shot, not at all. No, no, no! They’re taking the wrong shot. Oh, my, I can’t watch!” ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/7 "2006-02-14T14:05:39Z")
Another one for the snowboarding commentators, but this time from the BBC: > [@](#): > > Hannah Teter is the whole tiramisu of snowboarders. He then went on to talk about whisky and other ingredients. Can’t remember exactly what he said, though. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/8 "2006-02-14T14:24:29Z")
My sister swears that she once heard Dick Button the figure skating guy say once, “That ice is really slippery.” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/9 "2006-02-14T14:26:29Z")
If anybody is a “tiramisu”, it is that Italian-American confection Lindsey Jacobellis. Hannah’s family makes maple syrup, though! I heard Brian Williams, not normally big on stupid, refer to “Dartmouth University” during the opening exercises. (Dartmouth is a college.) Stupid runner-up: Just about anyt utterance including the name “Michelle Kwan” after the first news (groin pull, withdrawal, champ, no medals, Emily Hughes). ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/10 "2006-02-14T14:28:54Z")
Yesterday in USA vs. Norway Women’s Curling I heard this exchange between the two commentators: Commentator One: Yup Commentator Two: Yup Commentator One: Yup Commentator Two: Yup ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/11 "2006-02-14T14:34:28Z")
Not an Olympic announcer, but I was listening to NPR the other day when they were talking about the American pairs figure skating team that did the Throw Triple Axel for the first time in competition. "A throw triple axel is where the male figure skater throws his female partner into the air . . . " Um, have you looked at the average pair figure skating team lately? It’s pretty obvious that the MALE partner throws the FEMALE partner and not the other way around. I suppose there are people less well informed than I, who wouldn’t know that, but I though the way that was phrased was just dumb. Get to the part which explains why landing a throw triple axel is harder than a throw triple lutz or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/12 "2006-02-14T14:36:58Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > The snowboard announcer on NBC. Talking about some jump a guy will be doing: “And next he’ll try the difficult 1260. That’s four complete turns in the air!” You were the lucky one to hear that! (I have been avoiding as much Olympics coverage as possible, unless my wife announces something special she has TiVoed. Then I’ll watch and her choices have been inspiring.) But the ding-dong(s) calling the snowboarding crawl all over me with their jargon. They may have explained some of the terminology when I wasn’t watching, but I have yet to hear any other sport (and that includes oldies like Rugby, Cricket, and other European favorites that haven’t become big hits in the USA) where the geek talk is so prominent. I guess it is just too cool for school (or some other dweeb expression.) Pisses me off. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/13 "2006-02-14T15:29:27Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > But the ding-dong(s) calling the snowboarding crawl all over me with their jargon. They may have explained some of the terminology when I wasn’t watching, but I have yet to hear any other sport (and that includes oldies like Rugby, Cricket, and other European favorites that haven’t become big hits in the USA) where the geek talk is so prominent. I guess it is just too cool for school (or some other dweeb expression.) Pisses me off. And **Zeldar** shreds a gnarly front-side 540 fakey with a 180 grab, comboing into a killer 10-to-10 inverted! 23-Skidoo! ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/14 "2006-02-14T15:43:46Z")
What we need is some normal Joe’s doing the work. Like for the downhill, the only thing I’ve really watched, say something like “Holy shit the guy is fucking flying.” I know for the last summer Olmpics I got bored of the people doing the swimming. Whenever I’m at a swim meet, which happens a lot, we sure are not talking about some guys stroke unless it’s really nice, but at the Olympics you have to be the best. I really should mute them. ---
**Author:** ![waits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df788c/32.png) [@waits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waits)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/15 "2006-02-14T15:50:51Z")
> [@Eureka](#): > > Not an Olympic announcer, but I was listening to NPR the other day when they were talking about the American pairs figure skating team that did the Throw Triple Axel for the first time in competition. During NBC’s coverage when the couple did this, Dick Button yelled out, “I’m so happy for them!” This is one reason why I hate the Olympics. I know that journalism and televised Olympics coverage are pretty much mutually exclusive but can we please have some objectivity? Dick, you’re not there to be happy for them. You’re there to announce what happens. You can enthuse about how difficult the move is but can you stop making your rooting preferences so obvious? ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/16 "2006-02-14T15:58:40Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > And **Zeldar** shreds a gnarly front-side 540 fakey with a 180 grab, comboing into a killer 10-to-10 inverted! 23-Skidoo! The announcers reminded me of the MST3K segment from “Sidehackers” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gaucho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@gaucho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaucho)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/17 "2006-02-14T16:16:45Z")
The cornball who’s not Bob Costas talking about Michelle Kwan’s “kwicksotic” quest for a gold medal. Sometimes cue cards are not enough. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/18 "2006-02-14T16:21:23Z")
> [@gaucho](#): > > The cornball who’s not Bob Costas talking about Michelle Kwan’s “kwicksotic” quest for a gold medal. Sometimes cue cards are not enough. What are you saying? That her quest isn’t “quixotic” or that that’s not how you say it? Anyway, my contribution, “that’s just Bode being Bode.” ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/19 "2006-02-14T18:05:40Z")
There was some back-and-forth about Bode Miller using new skis that he wasn’t used to and the announcer said something along the lines of “Well sometimes it’s a little jarring to be to on new skis, but you know that Bode isn’t ever going to go out unless he’s completely confident in his safety. That’s just the kind of guy he is.” Sounds like someone doesn’t have a newspaper subscription. I agree about the poor announcing on the snowboarding, but I love the curling guys. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429/20 "2006-02-14T18:48:49Z")
> [@Edward The Head](#): > > What we need is some normal Joe’s doing the work. Like for the downhill, the only thing I’ve really watched, say something like “Holy shit the guy is fucking flying.” 😃 That would be good! Of course they’d need a clip from that “Wipeout” song for when they crash. Just that little bit of the guy laughing, and “Wipeout!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-the-stupidest-things-you-hear-olympic-announcers-say/344429.md?page=2)