# Post to the Dope as a kaiju apologist. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 23, 2015, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371 "2015-11-23T17:24:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/1 "2015-11-23T17:24:10Z")
Kaiju, for those who don’t know, are giant monsters like Godzilla, Mothra, and arguably King Kong. It is my contention that, in a world in which they existed, there would be idiots who opposed killing them even when they were on a rampage and had just destroyed Santa Clara CA. This is the thread to channel such ninnyhammers. You can choose an already existing fictional kaiju or make up your own. And no, this is not an ISIL metaphor; it’s just a goof. Go. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/2 "2015-11-23T17:29:02Z")
How many anthills and hornets’ nests have you exterminated in your life? What gives you the moral standing to call for the death of an organism that’s doing pretty much the same thing you do on a regular basis? ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/3 "2015-11-23T17:37:35Z")
I post to the Dope; My verse is not to each man’s taste But it will do for me. Oh, wait, _kaiju_… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/4 "2015-11-23T17:42:16Z")
Godzilla is unique, and majestic, and beautiful. Humans number in the billions. Surely we can spare a few paltry thousands or millions of this vast resource of humanity to protect the majestic beauty of this magnificent creature? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/5 "2015-11-23T17:44:58Z")
Kaiju, like any game animal, are a renewable resource that must be managed and husbanded. Seasons and limits, not indiscriminate slaughter, are what we need. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/6 "2015-11-23T17:59:47Z")
Godzilla plays a vital part in the delicate ecological balance of the planet. Sure, oxygen destroyer bombs might seem like a good idea in the short run… but then what’s going to keep the population of ghidoras or mothras in check? And that’s not even getting into the invasive species like mysterians or xiliens, which would surely overrun us were it not for predation by Godzilla. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/7 "2015-11-23T18:13:57Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Kaiju, like any game animal, are a renewable resource that must be managed and husbanded. Seasons and limits, not indiscriminate slaughter, are what we need. Burke, Carter J: This is clearly an important species we’re dealing with and I don’t think that you or I, or _anybody_, has the right to arbitrarily exterminate them. Ripley, Ellen: Wrong! ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/8 "2015-11-23T18:35:26Z")
Kaiju are our best defense against other Kaiju. We were dead against [Ghidorah](http://godzilla.wikia.com/wiki/Invasion_of_Astro-Monster)without Gojira, man. Dead! ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/9 "2015-11-23T18:42:20Z")
Just think of what a trained kaiju could do for our energy needs. One Godzilla-class creature can theoretically produce enough power to heat Anchorage. ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/10 "2015-11-23T18:48:18Z")
Trompette the giant unicorn is magnificent and, as we know, the last unicorn. People who complain of enormous steaming piles of poop must realize the benefit of composting! The families of people who have been crushed under Trompi’s\* hooves must appreciate how he helps in human overpopulation. \*Nickname given to him by his most beloved Mother ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/11 "2015-11-23T19:09:49Z")
The real damage is our response to the kaiju. ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/12 "2015-11-23T19:17:40Z")
The Kaiju would never have attacked us if we had not destroyed it’s natural ecological niche, and now we are reaping the rewards of senseless environmentally destructive policies. It is also clear that the Kaiju is at least as advanced as humans and as such should be given rights of personhood. It has a right to live and try to find a place for itself in the world. As the original destroyers of its natural habitat (or even, as some suggest, the CREATORS of this new life form through reckless nuclear experimentation) it is our responsibility to provide an alternative. If the Kaiju is attracted to the eco-system we know as Tokyo I think we need to consider the option of turning it over to the Kaiju and making it into a reservation for the Kaiju species. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/13 "2015-11-23T19:19:04Z")
Australia is full of shit that kills people, just relocate the Kaiju there! Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/14 "2015-11-23T19:31:45Z")
They had difficult childhoods and are misunderstood. I recommend family therapy. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/15 "2015-11-23T19:33:08Z")
Of course they’re angry and rampaging. They’re HUNGRY. They’ve simply grown too big to eat anything. So what we need is a 100’ cow… ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/16 "2015-11-23T19:34:20Z")
The problem is that the kaiju come from the East China Sea, which is an imperialist creation. We should tear up the old maps and create a new homeland for these victims of oppression. They would be much happier if they had a homeland in the West Japanese Sea. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/17 "2015-11-23T19:35:23Z")
Mr. President, we must not allow a kaiju gap! ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/18 "2015-11-23T19:38:39Z")
Honestly, Santa Clara was not that great anyway. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/19 "2015-11-23T19:48:57Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > The Kaiju would never have attacked us if we had not destroyed it’s natural ecological niche, and now we are reaping the rewards of senseless environmentally destructive policies. > > It is also clear that the Kaiju is at least as advanced as humans and as such should be given rights of personhood. It has a right to live and try to find a place for itself in the world. As the original destroyers of its natural habitat (or even, as some suggest, the CREATORS of this new life form through reckless nuclear experimentation) it is our responsibility to provide an alternative. If the Kaiju is attracted to the eco-system we know as Tokyo I think we need to consider the option of turning it over to the Kaiju and making it into a reservation for the Kaiju species. Indeed. History shows again and again that Nature points up the folly of men. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371/20 "2015-11-23T19:57:01Z")
Just think what we could learn from the Kaiju. We need to find a way to peacefully coexist. Then we can dissect and experiment on them just as we do with the rest of nature’s creatures. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-as-a-kaiju-apologist/738371.md?page=2)