# Post to the Dope from Middle-Earth **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 22, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707 "2008-09-22T17:45:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/21 "2008-09-22T20:01:32Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > I got bored in Gondolin, too, so I left it a smoking ruin. You’re a very naughty and incestuous-prone elf, you know. No release from the Halls of Mandos for you! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/22 "2008-09-22T20:02:10Z")
Excerpt from a diary, found at a burned out hovel outside Edoras. Look, all I did was try to prune that silly tree. Here we don’t have many trees, so we nurture them and trim them to make sure they grow well… How was I to know it was some sacred spot for Lady G and her family? Mallorns tend to get weedy at a certain height–I was just trying to improve its structure a bit. Lady G is not nice when she’s riled, I can tell you that. And that whole telepathy thing she’s got going on? Well, I didn’t have to say a word; she knows just how I feel about her taking me to task. Huh. It’s back to the Westfold for me and ne’er more shall I roam… She said something about “what goes around comes around” but you know those elves: all talk and wine and nice clothes. They’ll get over it. It’s just a tree. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/23 "2008-09-22T20:03:57Z")
You know they actually sent a diver down to Numenor? Once, for 20 minutes, in the 3060s. _crickets chirp_ Oh, yeah? Well…well…I burning your orog! So there! ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/24 "2008-09-22T20:07:07Z")
Having some of the Brandybucks over for Second Lunch, and would LOVE something tasty to knock their socks off. Thanks in advance! (Yes, I KNOW we don’t wear socks, I was posting metaphorically!) ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/25 "2008-09-22T20:10:20Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > You’re a very naughty and incestuous-prone elf, you know. No release from the Halls of Mandos for you! Look, I have a thing for family. If your old man tried to spear you but knocked your mother off instead, you’d be a little touched, too. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/26 "2008-09-22T20:11:12Z")
\*\*Happy Hobbit Day \*\*from Minas Tirith. I am currently residing at the **Elf Stone Inn** nearest the rebuilt gates of Mithril and Steel. They serve an excellent ale here. I have been studying the ancient lore of Middle Earth and drinking with Meridoc & Pippin. Currently I am reading an essay on [What is Tom Bombadil](http://tolkien.slimy.com/essays/Bombadil.html)? I will soon try to visit Fangorn himself and then back to Bree (near my home of course) I think will need to visit that old moss gatherer Tom when I return. The ongoing battles against evil are going well. Rivendell and the Dwarves are mounting a campaign against the Orcs of the Misty Mountains and King Elessar is fighting wars in the south with the help of the Mark. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/27 "2008-09-22T20:12:05Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > Having some of the Brandybucks over for Second Lunch, and would LOVE something tasty to knock their socks off. Thanks in advance! > > (Yes, I KNOW we don’t wear socks, I was posting metaphorically!) ''ll love to give you my uncle Bilbo’s favorite recipe but it seems somebody broke into my house and stole it, damn treasure hunters ☹ ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/28 "2008-09-22T20:14:59Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > Having some of the Brandybucks over for Second Lunch, and would LOVE something tasty to knock their socks off. Thanks in advance! You can never go wrong with Mushrooms. I recommend lots of mushrooms and seedcakes and a good afternoon tea. BTW: Some Hobbits did where boots and probably socks. The [Stoors](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoor)were known for boots. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/29 "2008-09-22T20:28:20Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Hey, we know better – you have a hot date planned with Perelandra, complete with Hot [del]Monkey[/del] Oyarsan sex! > > 😛 I have to say, until you’ve become intimately acquainted with the Archon of Venus, you don’t know from a “body of different movements”. 😛 Meanwhile, from an impregnable wizarding tower on the borders of Rohan: \*Sure wish I’d kept a closer eye on Gandalf the Grey. How was I to know an Eagle was going to stop by and give him a lift out of here? It’d really make my day if he was to get into a life or death struggle with a Balrog, y’know, or fall down a bottomless pit, or preferably both. Never mind. My cunning plan nears fruition. All my army’s gone out to squash that dribbling senile neighbour of mine. Place is kinda echoey with all but the skeleton staff out in the field; still, I’m perfectly safe here. Wait, what’s that? Ah, just the boys having one of their little jokes. “Look out, it’s the cops,” indeed. There’s no police in the world that has jurisdiction out here. No, short of Fangorn Wood uprooting itself and marching on me, I can’t see anything going wrong now. Excuse me, I’ll just go and tell them to keep the noise down a bit. Sounds like they’re banging sticks and stones together, or something. brb.\* ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/30 "2008-09-22T23:50:10Z")
O! What are you doing, And where are you posting? The hamsters need time off! The Dope is slowing! O! Tra-la-la-lally here down in Cafe Society! O! Who are you referencing With allusions all a-wagging? No knowing, no knowing What brings Mister Qadgop And Skald and Maeglin down into Cafe Society in September ha! ha! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707/31 "2008-09-22T23:54:32Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Hey, we know better – you have a hot date planned with Perelandra, complete with Hot [del]Monkey[/del] Oyarsan sex! > > 😛 I was wondering why you were mixing authors/fantasty series, THEN I saw who you were responding to! :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-to-the-dope-from-middle-earth/464707.md?page=1)