# Post your minor/petty pittings here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 5, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267 "2003-05-05T20:49:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/41 "2003-05-06T20:31:23Z")
Dear speech class, from which I happily escaped with both my life and sanity yesterday: 1. Informative speeches are to be given on a factual topic. I chose to debunk an urban legend (wonder why I thought it might be rather alive down here…) about Charles Drew. You, Girl Whose Eyes Are Glued to Her Paper, chose to speak for about two minutes on, I think, why we should not be at war ever. I say I think because you appeared to be whispering to the papers in front of you. I can only thank you now for spending only two minutes up there (of your requisite 4 to 6). 1. Persuasive/Actuative speeches are supposed to convince us of a particular position or move us to some end on a particular topic. While I feel for you and your daughter, dear, your speech on your daughter getting burned by hot water was not persuasive for the simple reason that it didn’t persuade us to do anything. You stood up there and talked about what happened to her. Truly a sad tale. But that’s all you did. That action part of the Motivated Sequence seems to have utterly slipped your mind. That’s okay, though, because at least you’re not… Woman Who Must Educate Us on The Entire Stock Market in Five Minutes. You began your final speech (motivated sequence) on why we should go to college and from there went to how we can pay for college and from there to what I am sure was at least partially informative to many people. But you missed a few things: 1. Your topic was Go To College, and more specifically how to pay for it. 2. You utterly missed 4 of the 5 steps in the required motivated sequence. 3. Your topic was informative, not persuasive. 4. Flighty! Were you trying to seem as though you had thrown this together the night before by means of a Pain Webber FAQ? 5. Ifyoucouldhavesloweddownjustatouchsomeofus,includingtheprofwhohasahearingproblem,mighthavebeenabletounderstandyoubetter. And let’s don’t forget Militant Mary, the woman who walks up to the podium ready to strangle any who disagree with her. She gives rabid, logic-free thought a bad name. And lastly, we have another person guilty of getting up to speak and reading a FAQ. Want to know about preparing a living will (the meaning of which she got wrong)? How about donating your eyes to a worthy person? Both noble ideas except that you’re supposed to be giving persuasive speeches, not informative. ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/42 "2003-05-06T20:35:10Z")
**Lodrain** : Would you stop smearing the cat in peanut butter, rolling him in sand and throwing him at passing cars? It’s not nice to the cat, nor is it nice to the drivers of the cars. Stop it. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/43 "2003-05-06T20:37:02Z")
**Iampunha** , that was very informative. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/44 "2003-05-06T20:51:42Z")
I hate assholes who cut in front of me on the interstate without using their signals. I also hate when I send someone an email that spells instructions out, line by line, but some jerk still calls me and asks what he’s supposed to do because he was too fucking lazy to scroll down to read the rest of the message. Oh, and I hate Martha Stewart. She sucks donkey dicks. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/45 "2003-05-06T20:56:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by overlyverbose \* > \*\* > > Oh, and I hate Martha Stewart. She sucks donkey dicks. \*\* [Donkey Otie] And that’s a good thing! [/Donkey Otie] :o ;j ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/46 "2003-05-06T21:30:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*[Donkey Otie] > > And that’s a good thing! > > [/Donkey Otie] > > :o ;j \*\* Mmmm, mmm good. I hope Martha and the donkey will be very happy together. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/47 "2003-05-06T21:58:26Z")
Only if the donkey is jailed on the same cell block. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/48 "2003-05-06T22:13:10Z")
SHUT UP YOU LITTLE MUTT!! The big bad room monster isn’t going to come out and eat you, and you wouldn’t have to be locked in that room if you didn’t always chew everything to bits! Shut up, shut up, and let me fucking _SLEEP_ ! Sorry about that. A little pet frusteration I had to let out. I also hate McDonald’s hashbrowns. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/49 "2003-05-06T22:42:13Z")
Not sure what a **frusteration** is, but I’d be thankful to not have it. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFunkySpaceCowboy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/50 "2003-05-07T02:13:27Z")
I hate it when I’m driving and The Most Important Person In the World is riding my ass like a lonely Montana rancher with a sheep pushed up against the edge of a cliff, and changes lanes behind me just as I change lanes to get out of his way. Basically cutting himself off in the process. Hey asshat that flashing yellow thing on the back of my car is a fucking turning signal it means my car is about to change directions and will soon be out of your way! ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/51 "2003-05-07T02:19:47Z")
My rant today is maple trees that I can’t identify. There’s a bunch of them where I live and they aren’t in my tree book. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/52 "2003-05-07T02:55:57Z")
How come y’all never mention me in these damned popularity contests? :mad: Oh, wait… :o 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/53 "2003-05-07T03:06:53Z")
Are they the little spindly contorted maples with the red pointy leaves? Those are some kind of ornamental Asian maple. I could check my books if you really want to know. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/54 "2003-05-07T03:12:46Z")
I hate people. But other than that minor deet, life’s just peeeeeechy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/55 "2003-05-07T03:25:08Z")
Someone needs a hug! {{{{LolaCocaCola}}}} ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/56 "2003-05-07T03:53:47Z")
Awww, thanks, Sammy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/57 "2003-05-07T03:59:00Z")
Awww, thanks, Sammy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/58 "2003-05-07T04:00:24Z")
minus one aww thanks Sammy ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/59 "2003-05-07T04:13:35Z")
People who {hug} ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-minor-petty-pittings-here/173267/60 "2003-05-07T04:14:49Z")
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