# Post your original "Two types of People" Jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 12, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746 "2007-12-12T15:42:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/41 "2007-12-13T01:56:05Z")
Slight variation for scuba divers: There are two types of divers in the world: those that pee in their wetsuits and those that lie about peeing in their wetsuits. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/42 "2007-12-13T02:44:01Z")
There are two types of people in this world: male and female. Spoilered for raunchiness:[spoiler]With apologies to Richard Jeni: There are two types of men in this world: those who masturbate and those who have no arms. There are two types of women in this world: those who masturbate and those who would have you believe it takes _that_ long to shower.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/43 "2007-12-13T02:50:25Z")
There are III types of people in this world: those who know Roman numerals and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/44 "2007-12-13T04:26:42Z")
In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important … ah hell, I got nothing. Great thread though. Keep 'em coming. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/45 "2007-12-13T04:35:44Z")
There are two types of people in the world: Type 1 Type B ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/46 "2007-12-13T04:50:50Z")
There are four types of people in the world: those who know binary, those who don’t know binary but find the Three Stooges funny, those who neither know binary nor find the Three Stooges funny but put sugar on their porridge, and those who neither know binary nor find the Three Stooges funny nor put sugar on their porridge. You have to admit, it’s exhaustive and mutually exclusive. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/47 "2007-12-13T05:03:16Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those who don’t. Plus some others who aren’t sure. [/QUOTE] “There are two kinds of people: Those who say, ‘There are two kinds of people . . . ,’ and those who _don’t say!_ Well, and then there’s me.” – [J.R. “Bob” Dobbs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._%22Bob%22_Dobbs) ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/48 "2007-12-13T05:42:32Z")
There are two types of people in the world: Those who like “The Sweater Song” by Weezer, and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/49 "2007-12-13T07:26:41Z")
There are two types of people in this world. Those who like a little mystery. And those who need to fucking know what’s underneath every damn rock. Now you know which one you are. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/50 "2007-12-13T07:36:58Z")
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that can’t And those that can. read between the lines. . ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/51 "2007-12-13T11:24:37Z")
[QUOTE=cantara] The [apparently ubiquitous](http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/frustrations/5aa9/): There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t. [/QUOTE] There are two types of people in the world: those who understand “original”, and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![TripleTee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@TripleTee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TripleTee)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/52 "2007-12-13T11:42:51Z")
There are two types of men in the world. The men who are not flexible enough to touch their penis to their nose, and the men who never leave the house. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/53 "2007-12-13T11:50:51Z")
There aaaaaargh two types of people; those who like pirates… ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/54 "2007-12-13T11:51:37Z")
There are two types of people in the world, the dead and the dyi ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/55 "2007-12-13T14:17:27Z")
There are 3.14159 people in this world. Those that are well rounded. Those that are quite irrational. Those that when come back, bring pi. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/56 "2007-12-13T14:20:29Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] There are two types of people in the world: Those who think the Three Stooges are funny, and those who have vaginas. [/QUOTE] There are two types of people in the world: Those who can find things, and those who have penises. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Zagna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@El\_Zagna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Zagna)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/57 "2007-12-13T14:34:31Z")
There are two types of people in the world. Those who divide people into two types and those who don’t. I’m the latter. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/58 "2007-12-13T14:43:39Z")
There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who feel conflicts can be solved with civil discourse and fuck you. Sorry - best I could come up with - some of these are priceless. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/59 "2007-12-13T15:33:48Z")
[QUOTE=cmyk] There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that can’t And those that can. read between the lines. . [/QUOTE] I love this!!! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/60 "2007-12-13T17:00:27Z")
George Carlin says there are two kinds of _drivers_ in the world. Everyone who’s driving slower than you is an idiot; everyone who’s driving faster is a maniac. There are two kinds of people in the world: me and everyone else. There are two kinds of voters in America: Democrats, and slack-jawed, Bible-thumping, seal-clubbing, GCC-denying, Bush-loving, Constitution-breaking, torture-condoning, SUV-driving idjits. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who keep secrets and… well, I can’t tell you the other kind. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who appreciate a smart, funny, well-read, handsome and witty fellow, and my sworn enemies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746.md?page=4)