# Post your original "Two types of People" Jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 12, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746 "2007-12-12T15:42:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/61 "2007-12-13T18:46:45Z")
There are two kinds of people in the world: cat lovers and devil worshippers ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/62 "2007-12-13T18:51:22Z")
[QUOTE=jali] I love this!!! [/QUOTE] I use a gray background, which kind of ruined it. But his spoiler one was pretty good! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/63 "2007-12-13T19:21:34Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] George Carlin says there are two kinds of _drivers_ in the world. Everyone who’s driving slower than you is an idiot; everyone who’s driving faster is a maniac. There are two kinds of people in the world: me and everyone else. There are two kinds of voters in America: Democrats, and slack-jawed, Bible-thumping, seal-clubbing, GCC-denying, Bush-loving, Constitution-breaking, torture-condoning, SUV-driving idjits. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who keep secrets and… well, I can’t tell you the other kind. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who appreciate a smart, funny, well-read, handsome and witty fellow, and my sworn enemies. [/QUOTE] What’s wrong with seal-clubbing? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/64 "2007-12-13T19:23:25Z")
[QUOTE=Tahssa] What’s wrong with seal-clubbing? [/QUOTE] There are two kinds of people in the world: seal-clubbers and environazis. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bea\_Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Bea\_Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bea_Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/65 "2007-12-13T19:26:39Z")
There are three types of people, those good at math and those who aren’t ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/66 "2007-12-13T19:43:08Z")
[Serial Killer version] There are two types of people – those buried in shallow graves just outside the rest area on I-70, and those on the list. [Religious Nut version] There are two types of people – those who believe in God, and those who will suffer eternal torment in hell because they don’t believe in God. [Narcissist version] There are two types of people – myself, and…why say more? ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/67 "2007-12-16T19:25:29Z")
Thought of this one last night, and just had to share. There are three types of people in the world. 1. Those who divide the types and place them on a numbered list. 2. Those that eschew the numbered list idea altogether. 3. Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/68 "2007-12-16T21:12:06Z")
There are two types of people: Those who finish their jokes. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/69 "2007-12-16T21:18:51Z")
There are two great secrets to success: 1. Don’t tell 'em everything you know. ---
**Author:** ![hotcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@hotcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotcha)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/70 "2015-06-01T19:22:48Z")
There are two types of people in the world, those with ADD and… Hey, look. There’s a unicorn! ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/71 "2015-06-01T19:41:16Z")
There are two types of zombies, one who eats brains and the other who is an eight-year-old thread that would not die. There are 10 types of people, 1 type who understands hex code and F all the other types. _A CookingWithGas original_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/72 "2015-06-01T19:42:03Z")
There are two types of people in the world: Those who resurrect an 8-year-old thread only to repeat a joke that was already told 8 years ago in that thread, and ZOMBIES!!! ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/73 "2015-06-01T20:54:52Z")
There are two types of cats in the box - alive and dead. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746/74 "2015-06-01T21:20:53Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > There are two types of people in the world; those who see things through until the end. > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > There are two types of people: Those who finish their jokes. Along the same lines: There are two types of people in the world: Those who need closure > [@Malacandra](#): > > There are two types of people in the world: those who understand “original”, and those who don’t. meh, are any of these really original? I don’t think so. The binary one is just LESS original. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-original-two-types-of-people-jokes/429746.md?page=3)