# Post your own "Joe Millionaire" spoof! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450 "2003-01-14T02:51:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/53a042/32.png) [@Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinnie_Virginslayer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/1 "2003-01-14T02:51:56Z")
Saturday Night Live had three funny ones: **JOE HETERO** Joe is secretly gay **JOE CAUCASIAN** Joe is secretly black **JOE NOT-A-RAPIST** Joe is a convicted sex offender How about: **JOE CLEAN** Joe is an alcoholic **JOE STD-FREE** Joe has herpes **JOE INDEPENDENT** Joe lives with his Mom **JOE HONEST** Joe used to be a high level executive at Enron **JOE PATRIOT** Joe is an Al-Qaeda terrorist **JOE DRY SHEETS** Joe wets his bed **JOE TOILET SEAT** Joe leaves the seat up **JOE TOOTHPASTE** Joe squeezes the toothpaste tube at its sides **JOE MALE** Joe is a woman šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/2 "2003-01-14T03:24:15Z")
**JOE WELL-HUNG** Joe is a little lackingā€¦ šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/3 "2003-01-14T05:16:50Z")
**JOE HUMAN** Joe is actually an alien, or possibly a FOX network executive. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/4 "2003-01-14T05:21:51Z")
**JOE SCHMOE** Joe pretends to be a $19,000-a-year construction worker, but has actually just inherited a large fortune. Cā€™mon, you just know itā€™s the next logical step. (And anyway, **Maeglin** (I hope it was him), had the best one: Joe HIV-Negative.) ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/5 "2003-01-14T05:30:52Z")
**JOE STRANGER** Joe is actually their cousin they havenā€™t seen since they were very young children. What an eww factor that show will have. Beats the pants off of Fear Factor. P.S. Didnā€™t watch all of SNL huh Vinnie? Joe Dude was their last one. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/6 "2003-01-14T05:48:01Z")
**JOE GENIUS** Joeā€™s kind of a dumbassā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/7 "2003-01-14T08:04:53Z")
**Joe Joe** Joe is actually a cup of tea. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/8 "2003-01-14T08:16:50Z")
**JOE DOPER** Joe has actually been banned for being a troll. **JOE VIRGIN** Joe is a male prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/9 "2003-01-14T08:27:27Z")
**JOE BACHELOR** At the end of the series, the chosen girl and the main guyā€™s wife must fight it out for his affections. Possibly in a jello pit. (Heyā€¦ I gotta call Fox!) ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/10 "2003-01-14T08:42:46Z")
**JOE NOT AN AMPUTEE** : This may be a hard one to sell. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/11 "2003-01-14T09:23:50Z")
**JOE LEGAL** Joe is 16 years old. **JOE HIGH-SCHOOL GRADUATE** Wellā€¦heā€™s working on his GEDā€¦ **JOE FUNDIE** Wait a minuteā€¦that fish on his car has _legs_! **JOE SENSITIVE NEW-AGE GUY** Heā€™s really a beer-swilling, pro-wresting watching, SUV-driving lout **JOE NON-SMOKER** ā€œWhat is that _smell_?ā€ ā€œWell, I went out to the clubsā€¦ā€ **JOE MY-MOTHER-IS-NOT-A-PSYCHO-HOSE-BEAST** Heā€™s a great guy, but heā€™s just got one little problemā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![NardoPolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NardoPolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NardoPolo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/12 "2003-01-14T12:21:24Z")
**JOE HEAVYWEIGHT** (aka Joe Hans-and-Frans) The reason Joeā€™s been wearing baggy sweatshirts the whole time is so we can stuff them with fake muscles. **JOE HUNG** That was a pickle in his pocket (he wasnā€™t really glad to see you). **JOE COOL** šŸ†’ Joe is actually a beagle. **JOE -Y** Joe is actually a young kangaroo. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/13 "2003-01-14T16:02:17Z")
**JOE BLOW** Joe is a hairdresser. (What, you were expecing something else? Shame on you!) **JOE MOW** Immaculately landscaped home, but Joe doesnā€™t know which end to grab of a hedge trimmer, much less how to use it. **JOE BRAIN** Joe has this incredibly deep voice, knows everything about everything, and his ambition is to TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! But heā€™s really a lab mouse. **JOE DWEEB** Once you take away the stylist, wardrobe department, script writers, acting coach, behavioral coach, and in-ear mini transceiver, Joe cannot function in any kind of social setting. **JOE BOB** Did the contestant go on a date with Joeā€¦ or Joeā€™s identical twin? ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/14 "2003-01-14T16:05:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NardoPolo \* > > **JOE COOL** šŸ†’ > Joe is actually a beagle. > \*\* Hey! ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/15 "2003-01-14T16:05:54Z")
**JOE STUD** In reality, ho couldnā€™t get it up with a car jack, a hydraulic pump, and I.V. Viagra. **JOE BOXER** Oh no! He wears Tightie Whities! JOE ATTENTIVE LOVER ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/16 "2003-01-14T16:08:39Z")
Hereā€™s a good one: **JOE WHAT THE HELL KEY COMBO DID I JUST HIT THAT POSTED MY REPLY WITHOUT ACTUALLY CLICKING ā€œPOST REPLYā€???** As I was sayingā€¦ **JOE ATTENTIVE LOVER** He hops on, blows his load in 53 seconds, wipes himself off on your pillowcase, farts, and then falls asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/17 "2003-01-14T16:32:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skelji \* > **JOE ATTENTIVE LOVER** > He hops on, blows his load in 53 seconds, wipes himself off on your pillowcase, farts, and then falls asleep. So, the question is ā€“ does he get to demonstrate this on each of the contestants? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/18 "2003-01-14T16:47:36Z")
**JOE BUTTAFā€¦I MEAN BUTTABUCO** After Plastic surgery to start the seasonā€¦ You find out that it is good ol Joey at the endā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/19 "2003-01-14T18:07:08Z")
**Joe Santa** We told all this kindergarteners that this was Santa Clause and that one of them would be taken to the North Pole and get all the toys they ever wanted. But what the kids donā€™t know is that he isnā€™t Santa at all! **Joe Jesus** We told these devout christians that this was Jesus and that one of them would get to go to heaven with him. But what they donā€™t know is that he isnā€™t Jesus at all! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450/20 "2003-01-14T18:12:09Z")
**Joe Compassionate Conservative** We told the voters that he cared about the poor, about educting all children and the environment. But what they didnā€™t know that he dosenā€™t care jack squat about any of those things. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-own-joe-millionaire-spoof/148450.md?page=2)