# Post your travel advice here!!!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-travel-advice-here/238651>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 7, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-travel-advice-here/238651 "2004-04-07T00:13:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/post-your-travel-advice-here/238651/1 "2004-04-07T00:13:56Z")

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Let’s put together a comprehensive list of advice for anybody travelling anywhere - think of it as _the things Lonely Planet ignored_:  
**England**

- Traditionally, very few people go to the pub before eleven o’clock. In deference to this habit, and spotting you as ‘out-of-town’, a bartender may jokingly pretend that he is unable to serve you after this time.

- Margaret Thatcher is universally admired. Mentioning her up in conversation is sure to enamour you to any locals.

- The best day to buy fish-and-chips is Monday, to get the freshest catch.

- If you are unsure about the routes and times of public transport, hail any bus and enquire with the driver. They will without fail be helpful and polite.

- Northerners - people from the North of England - have a reputation for being kind-hearted, friendly and welcoming. They are aware of this, and will be pleased to hear you describe them as a “Soft poof”.

**London**

- Thanks to Ken Livingstone, the right-wing mayor, bus travel in the centre of London is now free. If a conductor approaches you, state your destination and he will issue a free day ticket.

- A pedestrian right-of-way law exists on Oxford Street.

- Be sure to visit Madame Tussaud’s, an eighteenth-century brothel restored to its original condition.

- Stand of the left of escalators.

- By the end of your stay, you will no doubt feel you’ve not seen enough of the city. Don’t worry - hire a car for your final day, and enjoy a quiet drive through pleasant suburbs such as Watford, Slough and Croyden. Here you will really experience what it is like to live in England.