# Poster you most want to beat the fuck out of **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 9, 1999, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278 "1999-09-09T11:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/1 "1999-09-09T11:08:00Z")
Yeah, I’ve seen it. It’s there. There are just some people out here that you just want to beat the living fuck out of. To start you off? Me. Byzantine. Want to pound me into the dirt, motherfucker? Think you can? Go to town you slimy piece of shit! What are you gonna do? Hit me or anyone else with your best shot! * * * The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/2 "1999-09-09T11:18:00Z")
Oh, Byzzy, _do_ behave, you _naughty_ thing, you! ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/3 "1999-09-09T12:05:00Z")
Byz: You really think I wanna beat up a person who said she had to type with one hand when she looked at my picture?!? Hell, as far as I’m concerned, anyone that messes with ya has to go through me! 😉 * * * Brian O’Neill CMC International Records [rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html](http://rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html) ICQ 35294890 AIM Scrabble1 Yahoo Messenger Brian\_ONeill ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/4 "1999-09-09T12:06:00Z")
Oh Dif, don’t even go there! How sweet you are with the first post. Like a virgin on her first night… how’s a fist feel, slammed up your ass? Like it? No? Then fight back… I want flames and fire. Brimstone all around! Too tame out here… I want that fire, that spark of hate… I want the flames of passionate hate to draw me down like tar… ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/5 "1999-09-09T12:15:00Z")
“Byz: You really think I wanna beat up a person who said she had to type with one hand when she looked at my picture?!?” Didn’t you read the other post? Where I said it was all a lie? Where I’d rip out my own genitalia with a fork not to have to bed you? Oh please, Satan, I count on you for nothing else but fun… so easy to slam, so easy to force and push and make this all nothing but the most hate filled of posts TennHippie has my pixs but you don’t, not yet, so go to town, lover. How deep can your slams of me go?. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/6 "1999-09-09T12:55:00Z")
Nothing but a bunch of weak sisters! You all suck! Well, okay, I wouldn’t say you suck but you inhale deeply! * * * The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/7 "1999-09-09T14:28:00Z")
Byz, you insolent twit! How I would love to slice open your belly so you could watch your steaming entrails fall at your feet as you draw your final breath! Neighborhood dogs would turn their muzzles away from the stench of your urine saturated intestines! Your carcass would be left to rot in the sun since your mere presence would soil any consecrated ground! There… happy now? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/8 "1999-09-09T14:49:00Z")
Teeny(referring to your mental capacity, of course), you ignorant slut . . . Maggots writhe and die on the oozings of your festered womb, yet they are not plentiful enough to match your hunger. May their feces infest and deviate your septum. If your brain were implanted in a hummingbird, it would suck a mule’s ass for a morning-glory! Happy _now_? ---
**Author:** ![E1skeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3da27b/32.png) [@E1skeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E1skeptic)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/9 "1999-09-09T15:08:00Z")
But… **why** Biz? Why should we all call you names, and tell you nasty things when we all like you? Are you going through a difficult phase, dear? Do you feel rejected, or depressed? Are you trying to tell us something, but you’re just too shy to be clear? We’re here to help you, hun. Don’t let the anger surface. Be calm, and rational, and everything will be ok. Remember the words of that FABULOUS, WONDERFUL rock opera, **JC Superstar** ’s song: “Try not to get worried, try not to get into problems that upset you. Don’t you know everything’s allright, everything’s fine…” Sing it to yourself, and you’ll feel much better, you’ll see… And now, darling, **GET OFF MY BACK, I’M HAVING AN AWFUL HECK OF A TIME TRYING NOT TO BE PISSED OFF BY ANYONE!!!** …and you almost did it. Better luck next time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 1999, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/10 "1999-09-10T05:12:00Z")
Well, that was good. Not as good as it could be but I like it so far. And hey, I never said, “Just slam me” I was just giving you an opening. You didn’t all have to ram your fists up my butt… there are all KINDS of butts out here… * * * The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 1999, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/11 "1999-09-10T05:54:00Z")
Okay. Contestant #3 really draws my ire (for one post on one thread – I’m not saying it’s justified, it’s just where I’m at right now). Nickrz pissed me off by not dealing as promptly as I’d’ve liked him to with a newly emerged troll. BluePony perturbs me 'cause he was in the Air Force. Kellibelli sexually frustrates me. PapaBear confounds me with his flawless logic. Oh, and those fuckwads at Kiwi got their heads up their asses. Mangeorge and his “peace”. Satan and his “piece” (heatherlee). and… and… well, that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/12 "1999-09-09T18:11:00Z")
I do…? wow. :o ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/13 "1999-09-09T18:30:00Z")
Yo, Kells, Do I get that kiss now or what? Don’t tell me you were just “Toad teasin’”! ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/14 "1999-09-09T18:48:00Z")
Even my toes are blushing! Come & get it…_anytime…_ ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/15 "1999-09-09T18:57:00Z")
Cool it Kells. We’re in the Pit, ‘n people are watchin’! ---
**Author:** ![okatym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/76d3ee/32.png) [@okatym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okatym)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/16 "1999-09-09T19:01:00Z")
Would you two get a room, paaaleeeeease ! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/17 "1999-09-09T22:26:00Z")
(In my best “Beavis and Butthead” voice) Huh, huh, huh…you said “seamen”… ``` Bluepony (Retired Wingnut and Cloud Dancer) ``` * * * “…send lawyers, guns, and money…” ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/18 "1999-09-09T22:52:00Z")
Hey everybody… I’m a newbie here, so I odn’t really have a problem with anybody. 🙂 Then again, I’m always up for some “debating”…so what’s the format? 1. General witty putdowns? 2. Threats of creative physical violence? 3. Sexual insults on a junior high level? Just let me know…i’m flexable (insert joke here). And Byzantine? If I had been just a LITTLE bit faster than your dog, I’D be your daddy! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 1999, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/19 "1999-09-09T23:41:00Z")
I want you all to know that I did not read this topic; principly because I am not interested in polling PEASANT OPINION! Back to your hovels, you glue-sniffing, shitstained, heretical, substandard misanthropes. You have littered the world with your asinine opinions, Biblical jabber, and used hypodermic needles for FAR TOO LONG! A years worth of Torquemada’s dedicated attention is far to good for you pirates, simonists, odelesques and drunkards! I will give you the ultimate punishment! I will trap you in an elevator with Three Insurance Agents, Ken Starr, C#3, Newt Gingrich, AND\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\> …YANNI! ## If you all grovel suitably, I may simply sell you to a cosmetics firm for animal testing purposes, instead. We have met the enemy, and He is Us.–Walt Kelly (line break added by moderator) [Note: This message has been edited by Lynn Bodoni] ---
**Author:** ![LongHrn99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e4f/32.png) [@LongHrn99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LongHrn99)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 1999, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278/20 "1999-09-10T01:39:00Z")
Daniel you are one sick SOB, you know that? How in the hell is someone supposed to be stuck in an elevator with C#3? Personally I’d crap myself. Of course then it would provide me something to fling at him. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poster-you-most-want-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of/2278.md?page=2)