# PotC: Dead Man's Chest - give me my 2 1/2 hours back! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 7, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213 "2006-12-07T14:07:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/1 "2006-12-07T14:07:57Z")
The first _Pirates of the Caribbean_ film was moderately enjoyable if not particularly memorable, so I paid little heed to the sequel, figuring I’d just catch it on DVD. Well, I rented and watched it yesterday. Oh…my…God. What a lifeless, boring and interminable movie this was! I know the plot concerns a key and treasure and Davy Jones and the Flying Dutchman, but it really just seemed like an unending series of loosely-connected scenes of people doing this and that and running around and talking. (Kind of like that last sentence…) I lost interest after ten minutes or so, struggled through another hour, picked up the box and saw the running time was 2 1/2 fuckin’ hours and started pulling my hair out. ☹ And as for Keira Knightly successfully disguising herself aboard a ship of pirates who could probably smell pussy (excuse the language) a mile away? :rolleyes: I want, no I DEMAND my 2 1/2 hours back! Fuck you Disney. And to all the mouthbreathers who raved over this crap and made it a hit, fuck you too. Fuckin’ morons. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/2 "2006-12-07T14:09:47Z")
Now I’m the fuckin’ moron. Mods, please move this to the Pit. :o ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/3 "2006-12-07T15:58:52Z")
Good point on the smelling pussy a mile away part, especially since this was a couple hundred years before feminine hygeine products. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/4 "2006-12-07T16:04:39Z")
My family went to see this in the theater the first week it came out, since we had enjoyed the first one so much. I agree with you. I want my 2 1/2 hours back as well. This was really nothing more than a thinly disquised commerical for episode 3. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/5 "2006-12-07T16:10:20Z")
[QUOTE=stegon66] And as for Keira Knightly successfully disguising herself aboard a ship of pirates who could probably smell pussy (excuse the language) a mile away? [/QUOTE] Many women did in fact successfully disguise themselves aboard ships at the time. The thing was, everybody stank. Their clothes stank. The ship stank. You could not smell anybody elses odor above your own. And they didn’t get naked either. So it isn’t a stretch, as long as they were not too feminine. But Keira Knightly - the whole crew must have been blind :rolleyes: BTW - I liked it - so pit me Si ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/6 "2006-12-07T16:13:54Z")
[QUOTE=stegon66] Now I’m the fuckin’ moron. Mods, please move this to the Pit. :o [/QUOTE] My husband and I saw the (sold out) midnight showing the night before it opened and had a grand time. Maybe it wasn’t quite as good as the first one, and we haven’t been moved to see it again or buy the DVD, but we had fun that night and will see the 3rd film too. We’re not morons, we just like to be entertained sometimes. And we like Johnny Depp and think Jack Sparrow is one of his great characters. So fuck you back. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/7 "2006-12-07T16:15:40Z")
(That was said while assuming that the thread would get moved to the Pit. If it’s not moved, my apologies to everyone except the OP) ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/8 "2006-12-07T16:23:49Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] Many women did in fact successfully disguise themselves aboard ships at the time. The thing was, everybody stank. Their clothes stank. The ship stank. You could not smell anybody elses odor above your own. And they didn’t get naked either. So it isn’t a stretch, as long as they were not too feminine. [/QUOTE] [Mary Read](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Read) lived as a man both in the army and aboard a pirate ship. Her sex was discovered by the captain, but he decided to let her stay. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/9 "2006-12-07T16:31:29Z")
I enjoyed the first “Pirates”–in the theater & on DVD. But I won’t be getting the DVD of #2 yet. Why? > [@](#): > > Let’s just put it to you straight: You don’t make enough money to fully enjoy Dead Man’s Chest on DVD. Unless you pony up for a high-def TV and Blu-ray player, the small screen sucks away a lot of the charm from this summer blockbuster. And while there are plenty of delights – from Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow to creepy-crawly villain Davy Jones – many of the action scenes are just chaotic eye candy. The plot is similarly nonsensical, and the thing drags out over an unbelievable two and a half hours. (And speaking of eye candy, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley offer nothing but cheekbones.) Still, fun is fun, and if you’ve got the setup to truly absorb the madness of all the flying swords and cannonballs, you’re in for quite a ride [www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2006-12-07/homeent/dvdish.html](http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2006-12-07/homeent/dvdish.html) What’s your Home Theater like? I just have a smallish TV, but don’t feel like investing in a new setup. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/10 "2006-12-07T16:36:44Z")
I loved the first one, and hated the second. It was boring, it was unnecessarily gross (they pretty much lost me at the toenail munching at the very beginning), and it was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. They could have cut the entire (boring, gross) beginning part with the cannibals entirely without affecting the plot, and by the time the (interminable) climactic fight ended, I was rooting for the wheel. ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/11 "2006-12-07T16:59:17Z")
POTC 2 broke a rule or two maybe, assuming the viewer knew the first movie very well, and it was a bit slow getting started. Except that somewhere about the one hour mark, I think it’s when Jack Sparrow is escaping from the cannibals, it got going and never stopped. Plot confusing? Whatever. I was gasping for breath I was laughing so hard during that cannibal escape scene. The ending is rather abrupt, as it’s setting up the third installment. But, overall, in summation, I don’t see how anyone could more from a big summer movie. I’ll be buying it and watching it on my 15yo 25" TV given to me by my sister (when she bought a big screen TV ☹ ). So 😛 to all of you! ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/12 "2006-12-07T17:06:19Z")
Loved the first one, hated the sequel. I was hopeful for a bit when the introduced the East India Company angle, but then they dropped it for some of the most prolonged yet boring action sequences I’d seen since Matrix Reloaded. What a waste of talent! Bill Nighy was totally underused, as were Tom Hollander and Jack Davenport, although it did pick up a bit for me when Norrington came back into the story. And the writing was just a self-referntial rehash of the dialogue from the first movie. Big disappointment for me, although I have plenty of friends who loved it. Tastes differ. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/13 "2006-12-07T17:07:47Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] But Keira Knightly - the whole crew must have been blind [/QUOTE] But she was wearing a fake moustache. Fools 'em every time! ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/14 "2006-12-07T17:48:04Z")
I agree with Equipoise: “We’re not morons, we just like to be entertained sometimes. And we like Johnny Depp and think Jack Sparrow is one of his great characters.” Yes, the first one was much, much better - all the elements aligned just right for it. Doesn’t happen often. And in my opinion it’s a rare movie these days that isn’t too long. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/15 "2006-12-07T17:57:41Z")
I’m with the “not entertained” crowd. Like almost all modern sequels, this one sucked all the joy out of the first movie and substituted bigger, noisier, and spectacularier. It had jokes but no wit. The first movie succeeded on its wit, not on its jokes. The characters were wasted because they weren’t characters: just mannequins to be flung about. The villain was atrocious and the make-up worse. Why hire someone with a face as expressive as Bill Nighy’s and then cover it with fifty pounds of goo? A disaster, though not the bottom of the barrel as Hollywood sequels go. Which says more about Hollywood than PotC. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/16 "2006-12-07T18:47:53Z")
[QUOTE=Exapno Mapcase] … this one sucked all the joy out of the first movie and substituted bigger, noisier, and spectacularier. It had jokes but no wit. The first movie succeeded on its wit, not on its jokes. The characters were wasted because they weren’t characters: just mannequins to be flung about. The villain was atrocious and the make-up worse. Why hire someone with a face as expressive as Bill Nighy’s and then cover it with fifty pounds of goo? [/QUOTE] Pretty much my thoughts, except exactly the opposite on Nighy’s character. I was amazed at his ability to act _through_ 50 pounds of goo. Not many could have pulled that off, and I loved watching him. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/17 "2006-12-07T19:12:41Z")
Place me in the ‘meh’ category. Only one thing made me like the movie, and that was Norrington’s character. Everything else was, “Oh, look, a joke reference to the first movie… A pointless sword-fight… A pointless (and really poorly done) love triangle… Whee.” Norrington, on the other hand… I was impressed. Growth in a character? In a Disney sequel? Rarely heard of. His off-screen choices made him a completely different character, and while I expect he was supposed to be a semi-ambiguous bad-guy, I was rooting for him from the moment he showed up. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/18 "2006-12-07T19:49:27Z")
I liked it, but not as much as the first one. The whole fight on the big wheel scene was way beyond belief for me, including the timeline issues of that particular part (how does Jack get out of the jungle on foot at the same time as the big wheel, wouldn’t the wheel have been rolling fast and in a relatively straight line, easily beating Jack?) The ending sucked, they could have at least had _some_ sort of conclusion instead of ending so abrubtly. ---
**Author:** ![Tanbarkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@Tanbarkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanbarkie)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/19 "2006-12-07T20:04:11Z")
[QUOTE=FlyingDragonFan] Pretty much my thoughts, except exactly the opposite on Nighy’s character. I was amazed at his ability to act _through_ 50 pounds of goo. Not many could have pulled that off, and I loved watching him. [/QUOTE] That wasn’t 50 pounds of goo. Davey Jones was a completely CG-rendered character, acted out Gollum-style by Nighy. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213/20 "2006-12-07T20:05:28Z")
While conclusions are nice, were Dopers old enough to have enjoyed _The Empire Strikes Back_ in theaters just as upset? Now, _TESB_ was a better movie, but it ended with Han Solo frozen in carbonite and being shipped off with Boba Fett and Luke Skywalker licking his wounds after Vader handed him his hand.I really hated doing that, but there might be one or two people in the world who may not know how the story goes. Definite knowledge that a sequel is coming allows the director (and/or marketing) to end a movie on a cliff-hanger in an attempt to draw people into the next movie. I’m sure that there is a contingent of movie-goers who will attend PotC3 not because they liked PotC2, but simply because they want to know how it ends. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/potc-dead-mans-chest-give-me-my-2-1-2-hours-back/383213.md?page=2)