Ringo, I certainly didn’t mean for this to be daughter-specific. Actually, I was thinking in terms of the sorts of things anyone needs to know before leaving the nest. As it happened, when I left home, I was fairly handy and self-reliant, but my brother wasn’t entirely sure which end of the screwdriver was the business end. Lucky for him, he makes lots of money so the only tool he needs to operate is a checkbook…
And I wasn’t kidding about learning to change a tire. I got my first flat in the middle of nowhere in the winter. I got out the owner’s manual and figgered it out, but it would have been nice to have known ahead of time - it was dang cold standing in the snow reading instructions.
[ul]
[li]set limits and say No.[/li][li]use a hammer, screwdriver, wire stripper, drill, paintbrush/roller properly.[/li][li]kill a bug (or capture & release outside, if that is her preference)[/li][li]drive responsibly[/li][li]know her own limits[/li][li]choose an appropriate gift for just about anyone[/li][li]look for information on stuff she doesn’t know[/li][li]negotiate and persuade[/li][li]exit a conversation[/li][li]make others feel important; make guests feel welcome[/li][li]deal with conflict when it might be ongoing (such as with a neighbor or coworker)[/li][li]recognize when someone is lying or is a false/superficial person[/li][li]think analytically[/li][/ul]
Sounds like she already knows how to be thoughtful and kind - very important!
Swim (Hope she learned this before learning to sail.)
Bicycle
Drive a manual transmission
Skate, both roller & ice
Start a fire naturally (no matches or newspaper kindling)*
Aim and fire a gun
Hammer a nail
Paint walls/furniture
Type
Re-iterating money management: You should have her take some of her funds and start a small checking account. (If it’s not too late, this should be done before she gets possession of a credit card.) Teach her how to balance weekly [sub](this message courtesy of the “Do as I say, not as I do” Association)[/sub]. And don’t get her a debit card for teh account until well after she’s got the balancing habit down.
*Being reminded of current events, she must learn basic fire safety along with this.
I just wanted to point out that on the link Scarlett provided, they will teach you how to avoid lightening. I would assume you would stay away from bleach and Sun-In, right?
How to jump start a car. Definitely a good skill to have, along with a good set of jumper cables.
I’dd add how to push start a car, but most newer cars won’t push start.
Does knowing how to do laundry include how to iron a dress shirt? You wouldn’t believe how many times I ironed my friends shirts on “formal” occasions.
Sewing! Among all these good suggestions, no one has mentioned sewing!
I’m not talking whip up an evening gown–I mean do basic alterations and repairs–heck, buttons, at least. You wouldn’t believe the number of folks I knew in college who didn’t have the first idea what to do if a button fell off or something ripped.
And I think a few posters have already alluded to my next suggestion with things like “use a library” and such–she’ll be well served by knowing how to find out how to do the things she doesn’t know how to do, the confidence to give it a shot when it’s within her abilities, and the wisdom to know when a project is too big to tackle. Of course, all that’s kind of hard to sit down and explain one day over tea–knowing how to use a library or the internet will get her most of the way there.
Aw, c’mon, Bren, go alllllllll the way back to my OP - I mentioned buttons and hems. I’m a real advocate for sewing, and not only because I’ve been making clothes since I was 13 or so.
Something else everyone needs to know - how to recognize when something needs to be cleaned! Some people just can’t see the crud for the filth!
Who to ask & how to ask for driving or other traveling directions; how to follow them.
The importance of having a stuffed animal to hug when mom’s not around.
How to deal with criticism–justified or unjustified.
Perhaps most important, she needs to know that if, after 3 months or 6 months or 9 months, if…she finds out she’s “not making it” or is just god-awful lonely, that she is not a failure or immature for deciding that no matter how good the scholarship is, or how good the academic program is, no matter what, it’s ok to move closer to home and family. Voice of experience speaking here. I was a wonderfully mature 18 year old, moved from San Francisco to New York for school due to getting a full scholarship. Knew after 6 months that it was a big mistake to be so far from my roots, but didn’t want to let the family down–they were so proud of my independence…etc. Of course, it would have been ok. But we hadn’t talked about it.
I’d like to expand that a bit. Don’t just learn to use the Dewey Decimal system (which everyone probably already knows), learn how to use the Library of Congress system. Most colleges use the latter, and it can be a bit confusing if you are unfamiliar with it. Additionally, learn how to use databases in research. It’s a great way to find journal articles for citations.
I’ll add that everyone - particularly college-age women - should learn how to party safely. Don’t put your drink down, walk away, and pick it back up later (among other things).
FCM I know The Perfect Child [sup]TM[/sup] has a few things to learn yet, but, from what I’ve learned about her through your posts, I just know she’ll turn out good.
It seems to me that just about all of the basic stuff she’ll need to know has been mentioned. BTW, if The Perfect Child [sup]TM[/sup] does feel the need for a potato throwing device, I have a set of plans for making a potato shooter. Loads of fun and also great for shooting rolled bandages.
How to drink. What she likes/dislikes and what sort of capacity she has - preferably so she knows just where her state of ‘a little too much to drive/look after myself/keep others from taking advatange of me’ is. What a hangover is, and how to deal with it. What alcohol poisoning is/what can be done about it, if someone else around her has too much (I found this one out the hard way, don’t suggest that as an OJT thing…)
How to not drink, e.g. how to tell someone pushy that she will not drink, have cash to get her own cab home, tell if someone is trying to dope her drink, how to ‘create a scene’ at a party if she needs to do so, and not feel at all badly about subjecting the loser to such treatment.
How to date - safely. I wish my mother had taught me about having someone to call when I got back, leaving where and what I was doing info with, etc. How to make sure the guy didn’t find out too much personal info before I knew whether he was sane or not, first. Etc.
How to have semi-safe sex. Not just how to avoid winding up preggers if you didn’t want to (e.g. the Pill and assorted cousins), but why condoms don’t protect against everything, what they don’t, why that is a problem sometimes, how to say no and really make it stick, why that is a good idea, how to say yes, but make sure it stays on your terms, and even the options for self-pleasuring. (I could have avoided a lot of angst if I’d known earlier about “maritial aid” devices). I’ve seen mother/daughter shopping pairs in various outlets for these, doing that final, important prep for college, many times.
How to sew - buttons, hems, tears, at least. Save her a fortune.
