# Practical uses for parrots? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 8, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822 "2011-01-08T01:52:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/21 "2011-01-08T18:59:24Z")
Anyone remember the juvenile detective book series "_Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators"?_\* In one of these, the intrepid youths had to track down the owners of several parrots. Each of the birds had been taught to repeat part of a cryptic clue to the location of the treasure…or whatever it was they were looking for, I forget. SS \*Afraid I may be dating myself here…does anyone actually read juvenile detective books any more? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/22 "2011-01-08T20:12:52Z")
Are parrots sort of like vultures? If so, the Zionists are up to [their old tricks again](http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/01/israeli_scientist_to_saudi_arabia_can_we_have_our.php). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/23 "2011-01-08T21:13:03Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Ah, but Snowball’s dance moves were said to be unrelated to a cockatoo’s natural courtship display. He definitely high-kicks his feet to the music. (Sorry, I am obsessed by Snowball.) They’re going to try him out with Dancing With Myself to see what role human interaction plays (this is according to Wikipedia). Yes, I noted that the high kicks are unusual above, as well as the timing and rhythm. The nodding style of dance, however, is natural for parrots, for example: [Parrot and cockatiel dancing](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DYFHHjSxAA) [Amazon Parrot dancing](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4222929931207426921#) While I was writing this post, my own budgie did the nodding dance thing too on his playground. I’m not saying Snowball isn’t a star - just that some of his moves are natural even for untrained birds. The arrangement is special though. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/24 "2011-01-08T23:35:30Z")
I remember reading a while ago about someone’s attempt to teach a parrot bible passages and release it in the Amazon rainforest as a really really stupid attempt to convert the natives. It didn’t work, it just reverted to going ‘Wraaaak!’ and none of the native people the attempt was aimed at spoke English anyway. And I can’t find any cites for it. I think that just qualifies as an impractical attempted use of a parrot though. Oh, I can think of one actual practical sort of use that has been made- someone did attempt to use one as a [murder witness](http://www.nytimes.com/1993/11/12/news/parrot-may-have-the-answer-to-a-killing.html?scp=1&sq=Jane%20Gill%20max%20parrot&st=cse) but it didn’t stand up in court ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/25 "2011-01-09T00:50:49Z")
Well, if we’re debating parrot language use versus mimicry, anyone unfamiliar with Dr. Irene Pepperberg’s [work](http://www.alexfoundation.org/index2.html) might want to do some reading; many of these questions are stating to have factual answers. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/26 "2011-01-10T05:26:41Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > Useful for geometry. A polygon is a dead parrot. No it’s not. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/27 "2011-01-10T06:33:07Z")
You could use one to annoy your roommate\*, I suppose. The ultimate would be teaching it to say something that roomie says all the time, but denies saying. Look, you say it often enough that the parrot has picked it up. Not a practical use, but one of my few parrot stories - I knew one parrot owner who was sitting on his back porch one night while his wife did dishes. As he relaxed, his wife, thinking he was in the front room, started talking to him there. The parrot started making husband noises. “Uh-huh. Yes, dear. Sure. Uh-huh.” So that was why his wife had been annoyed with him for not doing things that he couldn’t remember agreeing to do. \*includes all live-in relatives ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/28 "2011-01-10T06:39:47Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > Useful for geometry. A polygon is a dead parrot. No no, h-he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/29 "2011-01-10T06:52:45Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > Useful for geometry. A polygon is a dead parrot. > [@Autolycus](#): > > No it’s not. I’m not sure if you’re quoting Monty Python or you’re missing my “hilarious” joke. In case it’s the later, I’ll explain. When Polly the parrot dies, Polly is gone. Therefore, a polygon is a dead parrot. ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/30 "2011-01-10T13:30:55Z")
all i can contribute is that my ex has a greenwing macaw that is scary-smart. in recent months he and i have been speaking to one another again and i recently went over to visit for the first time in three years. not only did she recognize me, she even called me by her pet name for me. i expected the dogs to remember me - not the bird. she also let me pet her and give her kisses - something she wouldn’t allow with his previous girlfriend (which made me smile evilly - just a little. 🆒) even he was surpised she allowed the familiarity. frankly, i was too. parrots generally are a one-person pet. i’ve already told him i want the bird when he kicks off (parrots live darn near forever and will certainly outlast their owners in most cases). ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/31 "2011-01-10T13:43:08Z")
Ahhh, I’ve seen the video of the parrot murder witness. All it could keep muttering was “let the bodies hit the floor”. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/32 "2011-01-10T14:04:41Z")
[A timely story.](http://www.postandcourier.com/news/2010/dec/08/worst-case-ive-ever-seen/) > [@](#): > > There were seven dogs and several cats in the house. There also was a parrot, whose mimicry gave Bonnette a chill when he heard it. > > “The parrot was mimicking, ‘Help me. Help me.’ Then he would laugh,” Bonnette said. > > “We think he was mimicking the mother when he said, ‘Help me. Help me,’ and mimicking the daughter when he laughed.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/33 "2011-01-14T16:22:17Z")
The most practical use for parrots is as Fox News pundits. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/34 "2011-01-14T18:03:04Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I’m not saying Snowball isn’t a star - just that some of his moves are natural even for untrained birds. As is dancing in humans, too. It’s the rhythm and the continuity that makes it a human-style dance. See “the hitchhiker”, “the swim”, “the jerk”, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/35 "2011-01-14T19:04:25Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > As is dancing in humans, too. It’s the rhythm and the continuity that makes it a human-style dance. All of which I have already acknowledged. The point is that parrots - wild parrots - naturally do a nodding dance _that is already quite rhythmic in nature_. ---
**Author:** ![goodie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@goodie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goodie)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/36 "2011-01-14T20:14:08Z")
Parrots can dance, parrots can talk, parrots can love you…useful? Hell yes! WTF do I need a man for? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/37 "2011-01-14T20:16:16Z")
Practical use for parrots? Well, mine make sure no breadcrumb goes to waste… Conceivably they might make good guard dogs…er… birds. It’s not uncommon for them to raise a ruckus when the doorbell rings or there’s a knock or just someone making noise outside. On the other hand, most bad guys would find the bark of a doberman more intimidating than the chirp of my cockatiels. Hmm… time to teach the conure to bark… ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/38 "2011-01-14T21:28:59Z")
The Roman Catholic Church is facing a vast shortage of priests. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/39 "2011-01-14T21:40:57Z")
> [@Claverhouse](#): > > The Roman Catholic Church is facing a vast shortage of priests. I thought Catholics were opposed to anointing birds as priests? ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822/40 "2011-01-14T22:04:43Z")
The Parrot Max helped James Bond locate where Kristatos had taken the Automatic Targeting Attack Communicator… “ATAC to St. Cyril’s, aawwwkkkk, ATAC to St. Cyril’s.” for which they apparently let Max “watch” as Bond and Melina consumate the mission. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-for-parrots/566822.md?page=3)