# Practical uses of Semen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 12, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716 "2004-07-12T16:12:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pentax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dc4da7/32.png) [@Pentax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pentax)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/1 "2004-07-12T16:12:37Z")
Are there any? Aside from causing preganacy,or feeding fish, what uses are there for Semen? Are there chemicals extracted from the semen to make make-up, fight cancer, etc? Are there any commercial uses of semen? (aside from fertility and fish feeding) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/2 "2004-07-12T16:25:36Z")
It’s used for entertainment, in various porno movie scenes. (So I’ve heard…) ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/3 "2004-07-12T16:38:27Z")
I can’t find the thread, but it doesn’t seem to work too well when it is pan fried. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/4 "2004-07-12T16:57:33Z")
> [@Pentax](#): > > Are there any commercial uses of semen? (aside from fertility and **fish feeding** ) 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/5 "2004-07-12T17:00:01Z")
A girl I dated for years used it to help strengthen her nails. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/6 "2004-07-12T17:01:02Z")
[TMI here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249524&highlight=semen+fish) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/7 "2004-07-12T17:07:06Z")
It’s a great low-carb source of protein (at least that’s what I keep telling my partner). ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/8 "2004-07-12T17:15:52Z")
If you’re gluing paper together, it’s a good substitute for Elmer’s. Hell, my back issues of PENTHOUSE alone… I wouldn’t use it for wood, though. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/9 "2004-07-12T17:29:12Z")
As Cameron Diaz showed us in _Something About Mary_, it makes a fine substitute for hair gel. Other possible uses include dessert topping, furniture polish, and emergency glue for dress hems (ask Monica). [Announcer voice]_and best of all, it comes in this handy dispensing tube! Show our audience at home how well that works, Francine! WHOA-looks like you got a little too much there, ha ha. Don’t worry about snacking on the extra-Semen Says™ contains 0 carbs! Always fresh, always ready, in your grocer’s trousers._[/voice] ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/10 "2004-07-12T17:34:54Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > If you’re gluing paper together, it’s a good substitute for Elmer’s. Hell, my back issues of PENTHOUSE alone… > > I wouldn’t use it for wood, though. How can you _not_ use it with wood… ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/11 "2004-07-12T17:43:57Z")
> [@Pentax](#): > > Aside from causing preganacy… What, this isn’t practical enough for you?!? And supposing there aren’t other uses for it? You have a more comercially viable agent of conception in mind? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/12 "2004-07-12T18:05:13Z")
It’s a floor cleaner _and_ a desert topping! ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/13 "2004-07-12T18:07:32Z")
And a _dessert_ topping, so many uses! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/14 "2004-07-12T18:43:13Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > 😕 Some perv with too much time–among other substances–on his hands started a thread about alternate sources of tropical fish nutrition a few months back. You probably don’t want to know. ---
**Author:** ![alimarx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@alimarx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alimarx)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/15 "2004-07-12T18:44:52Z")
Why? Thinking of starting your own business? ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/16 "2004-07-12T18:48:23Z")
Salve for sore throat (works best if applied at 98.6 and with moderate force) Reduces cramps and other PMS symptoms Resolves flat abdomens on women (takes a few months before you notice any effect) Flavor-enhancer for male genitals Also, check out these theoretical but still untested (by me) applications: squeaky door hinges, oysters or other shellfish with overly dry mucosa conditions, dandruff, providing a pungent aroma to products that don’t smell like anything ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/17 "2004-07-12T19:28:20Z")
Floor polish, but you will need to throw a wild party for that. ---
**Author:** ![yoyodyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a9a28c/32.png) [@yoyodyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyodyne)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/18 "2004-07-12T19:35:12Z")
It is an excellent tooth-whitener! Really! Of course I’m sure! ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/19 "2004-07-12T19:42:09Z")
It’s great too for curing constipation!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/20 "2004-07-12T20:06:13Z")
I’ve heard it makes a good facial moisturizer, too. Robin [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716.md?page=2)