# Practical uses of Semen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 12, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716 "2004-07-12T16:12:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/21 "2004-07-12T20:16:39Z")
It makes a **terrible** eye wash, though. **YEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/22 "2004-07-12T20:20:13Z")
I never have the strength of conviction not to open threads like this. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/23 "2004-07-12T22:41:52Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I’ve heard it makes a good facial moisturizer, too. > > Robin I was told it was an astringent. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/24 "2004-07-12T22:59:45Z")
Silliness aside, semen (and spit) are excellent for removing protein-based stains (for example, blood) from fabrics. It’s around here somewhere in one of my textile books. I _have_ used spit on bloodstains before, so I know\* that\* actually does work. I don’t have the right bits myself to see if semen works. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/25 "2004-07-12T23:19:45Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > I don’t have the right bits myself to see if semen works. Ms B., you’re a brave woman to post a set-up line like that. The offers should start pouring in right about… ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/26 "2004-07-12T23:27:09Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Ms B., you’re a brave woman to post a set-up line like that. The offers should start pouring in right about… Oh dear… ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/27 "2004-07-12T23:38:13Z")
Wasn’t there some porn star that was going on a semen-only diet? And then there’s always using it as hairgel (from _There’s Something about Mary_} ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/28 "2004-07-13T01:35:37Z")
Well, obviously, it’s used as a show of affection, like flowers… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/29 "2004-07-13T02:10:28Z")
> [@Ms Boods](#): > > Silliness aside, semen (and spit) No, no, no. It’s semen (and\* swallow\*) > [@An Arky](#): > > Well, obviously, it’s used as a show of affection, like flowers… The bukkake arrangement, from FTD. Say it with semen. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/30 "2004-07-13T02:49:33Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > No, no, no. It’s semen (and\* swallow\*) Hmmm…dunno if that would work. Would depend, I imagine, on its airspeed velocity and if it’s African or European. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/31 "2004-07-13T03:06:55Z")
> [@monica](#): > > Wasn’t there some porn star that was going on a semen-only diet?\*} Yes, a Japanese girl lived on fresh semen plus one egg per day for a week (allegedly). It was somewhere on [http://www.jlist.com](http://www.jlist.com) . ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/32 "2004-07-13T03:08:40Z")
One time some landed on my shirt and bleached the color out. So I guess it can be used as a spot remover. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/33 "2004-07-13T03:54:35Z")
They are good for manning ships of all kinds. Wait, you didn´t say sea men? I need glasses ASAP 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/34 "2004-07-13T04:39:29Z")
[Depends on whether it’s magic.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=234684) ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/35 "2004-07-13T12:40:50Z")
It works great for impeaching presidents. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/36 "2004-07-13T12:43:54Z")
Having a dress with the right semen on it can make you famous and get you a book deal and on TV. Just ask Monica Lewinski. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/37 "2004-07-13T12:45:22Z")
It serves a minor purpose to propogate the species. ---
**Author:** ![Cerealbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Cerealbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerealbox)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/40 "2013-10-27T16:52:07Z")
Philip seamore Hoffman used his to pin up notes and postcards on the wall in the movie “happiness.” ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/41 "2013-10-27T17:07:29Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > Yes, a Japanese girl lived on fresh semen plus one egg per day for a week (allegedly). It was somewhere on [http://www.jlist.com](http://www.jlist.com) . Boy did I misread that URL. Also, who’s gonna be the first to unite [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249524) with [this other classic](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=198659) and once and for all answer the burning question: what happens if you pan-fry fish in semen? ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/42 "2013-10-27T17:40:04Z")
I am not aware of any commercial uses but I enjoy making it (painstaingly, by hand and great attention to detail) so I end up with a lot of surplus. If anyone is in need just let me know. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716.md?page=3)