# Practical uses of Semen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 12, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716 "2004-07-12T16:12:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/43 "2013-10-27T17:53:17Z")
It’s used in the manufacture of cheap costume jewelry like a necklace or earring. ---
**Author:** ![James\_Toothpaste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e56c9b/32.png) [@James\_Toothpaste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/James_Toothpaste)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/44 "2013-10-27T18:06:41Z")
There are no practical uses of semen. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/45 "2013-10-27T18:23:31Z")
> [@James\_Toothpaste](#): > > There are no practical uses of semen. Thats a bold statement … and an interesting intersection of username and topic. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/46 "2013-10-27T18:44:32Z")
I hear it works great for creating more humans. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/47 "2013-10-27T19:07:14Z")
> [@astro](#): > > It’s a floor cleaner _and_ a desert topping! This is about Goblin Toppling, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/48 "2013-10-27T19:07:15Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > It’s used in the manufacture of cheap costume jewelry like a necklace or earring. Specifically, pearl necklaces. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/49 "2013-10-27T19:13:02Z")
It’s a good indicator of when a condom’s life is used up. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/50 "2013-10-27T19:32:31Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > It’s a good indicator of when a condom’s life is used up. Well, not really. I’ve been re-treading condoms for years now. It saves a lot of money. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/51 "2013-10-27T22:56:38Z")
There’s at least [some](http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/2010/09/22/an-ode-to-the-many-evolved-virtues-of-human-semen/) evidence that semen has an anti-depressive effect on women, and makes pregnancy easier (I mean _after_ conception). ---
**Author:** ![UDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecae2f/32.png) [@UDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UDS)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/52 "2013-10-28T01:38:46Z")
I seem to recall that at one point it was used by spies in need of invisible ink. Obviously, the lenght of a spy’s secret report was a good indicator of his stamina. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/53 "2013-10-28T06:11:04Z")
[Semen might make for an anti-depressant!](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2969/is-semen-an-antidepressant) ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2013, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/54 "2013-10-29T02:28:37Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > It makes a **terrible** eye wash, though. > > **YEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!** That’s how you know it’s working. ---
**Author:** ![Amblydoper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Amblydoper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amblydoper)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/55 "2013-10-30T08:35:39Z")
Its not a very good zombie repellant. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/56 "2013-10-30T11:32:40Z")
Especially Zombie semen. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/57 "2013-10-30T13:59:45Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > It works great for impeaching presidents. Yes, it’s a zombie, but I have to nitpick anyway. It’s great for beginning impeachment, but isn’t enough to actually get one off. I’m trying to winkle out on old memory, and it’s not going to come with much detail. I worked in an environmental health and safety department, once, and at the end of lunch one day, I browsed through their small library. I found a book that listed standard test procedures for determining if someone working in an industrial setting had . . . been contaminated is probably the wrong word, but it’s close enough. The idea was that in industrial settings, the workers wore protective gear, but for some things you had to test to see that the gear had been effective, and to rotate the worker out of that task if they tested positive or past a certain level for whatever they were working with. I just flipped through, because that sort of thing is only interesting for so long. But before I put the book back, I found one compound (and of course don’t remember the name of it) for which the standard test required a sample of, not blood or spit, but semen. I remember thinking, “now here’s a job that could legally hire only men.” Oh, yeah, and I don’t remember the name of the book, either. I am so very not going to try to google it. ---
**Author:** ![Indiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@Indiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indiana)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716/58 "2013-10-30T22:42:37Z")
> **[Amazon.com: Natural Harvest (Semen cooking) eBook : Photenhauer, Paul "Fotie" :...](https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-Paul-Photenhauer-ebook/dp/B00ANT5X82)** > > Amazon.com: Natural Harvest (Semen cooking) eBook : Photenhauer, Paul "Fotie" : Kindle Store [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/practical-uses-of-semen/254716.md?page=2)