# Prayers Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 7, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976 "2010-02-07T01:00:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/21 "2010-02-07T01:48:49Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > I call foul, the mentat’s mantra is not a prayer. And I’m no mentat. So there. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/22 "2010-02-07T01:49:09Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Again, how can you make that judgment? Who are you to say what is sincere and what isn’t? It’s pretty obvious in the content of the prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/23 "2010-02-07T01:50:54Z")
(I wouldn’t call this a prayer - it’s used as an invocation) Listen to the words of the Great Mother, Who of old was called Artemis, Astarte, Dione, Melusine, Aphrodite, Cerridwen, Diana, Arionrhod, Brigid, and by many other names: Whenever you have need of anything, once a month, and better it be when the moon is full, you shall assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of Me Who is Queen of all the Wise. You shall be free from slavery, and as a sign that you be free you shall be naked in your rites. Sing, feast, dance, make music and love, all in My Presence, for Mine is the ecstasy of the spirit and Mine also is joy on earth. For My law is love is unto all beings. Mine is the secret that opens the door of youth, and Mine is the cup of wine of life that is the cauldron of Cerridwen, that is the holy grail of immortality. I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal, and beyond death I give peace and freedom and reunion with those that have gone before. Nor do I demand aught of sacrifice, for behold, I am the Mother of all things and My love is poured out upon the earth. Hear the words of the Star Goddess, the dust of Whose feet are the hosts of Heaven, whose body encircles the universe: I Who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars and the mysteries of the waters, I call upon your soul to arise and come unto me. For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe. From Me all things proceed and unto Me they must return. Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals. Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you. And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/24 "2010-02-07T01:52:41Z")
I will, however, make a case that the Litany against Fear is a prayer. > [@](#): > > I must not fear. > Fear is the mind-killer. > Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. > I will face my fear. > I will permit it to pass over me and through me. > And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. > Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. > Only I will remain. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/25 "2010-02-07T01:53:29Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > It’s pretty obvious in the content of the prayers. So basically, you know it when you see it. That’s helpful. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/26 "2010-02-07T02:02:01Z")
> [@RedWood](#): > > Oh God!!! Let me pass this test and I SWEAR I’ll never go out partying during Finals Week Again! > [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > No sarcastic/insincere prayers please. Curtis, I give you my Word that I prayed that exact prayer with great sincerity and _no sarcasm whatsoever_. It (and its’ variants) are why I am certain we will never evict prayer from schools. I usually make the prayers up as I go. I shall post another for you later. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/27 "2010-02-07T02:08:12Z")
::quote:: WordNet 2.0 prayer * * * Noun 1. the act of communicating with a deity (especially as a petition or in adoration or contrition or thanksgiving); “the priest sank to his knees in prayer” (synonym) supplication (hypernym) worship (hyponym) devotion (derivation) pray 2. reverent petition to a deity (synonym) petition, orison (hypernym) request, asking (hyponym) prayer wheel (derivation) pray 3. earnest or urgent request; “an entreaty to stop the fighting”; “an appeal for help”; “an appeal to the public to keep calm” (synonym) entreaty, appeal (hypernym) request, asking (hyponym) adjuration 4. a fixed text used in praying (hypernym) sacred text, sacred writing, religious writing, religious text (hyponym) Agnus Dei (derivation) pray 5. someone who prays to God (synonym) supplicant (hypernym) religionist, religious person (hyponym) beadsman, bedesman (derivation) pray ::quote:: Most of the prayers given fit at least one of these definations, even if they don’t fit the OP’s narrow one. I think I’ll go for #3 to keep calm until **Curtis** grows up a bit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/28 "2010-02-07T02:16:08Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > No sarcastic/insincere prayers please. Define “sincere”. Define “prayer”. Define “deity”. And define “communicate”. Yes, this will end well… ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/29 "2010-02-07T02:23:35Z")
"Little Flower at this hour, show thy power." ---
**Author:** ![Headrush042](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Headrush042](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Headrush042)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/30 "2010-02-07T02:23:40Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > Also, I’d like to add that I find the “modern English” versions of the Lord’s Prayer to be aesthetically displeasing. > > I mean, compare the OP with this: > > I mean, that version has some poetry to it! I’m with you on that. I’m an atheist, but that is my favorite version of the Lord’s Prayer. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/31 "2010-02-07T02:29:06Z")
So what then is a _wish_? A prayer for atheists perhaps? And what does a priest do when he blows out the candles on his birthday cake? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/32 "2010-02-07T02:44:12Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > I will, however, make a case that the Litany against Fear is a prayer. Nah, also a mantra. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/33 "2010-02-07T02:59:58Z")
> [@Headrush042](#): > > I’m with you on that. I’m an atheist, but that is my favorite version of the Lord’s Prayer. I’m a nothing, but IMO, whoever decided to “modernize” the English language Bible by destroying its poetry and beauty deserves a permanent place in hell. “Don’t be afraid” is not at all the same as “Fear not”. The banality of the language is one reason I stopped going to church. Bland I can get anywhere-where are majesty, grandeur and glory? It’s supposed to be a metaphysical, mystical experience, not a PTA meeting, folks! Ok, I’ll stop ranting now… ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/34 "2010-02-07T03:09:13Z")
Glory be to the Father Glory be to the Son Glory be to the Holy Spirit As it was in the beginning Is now and ever shall be World without end. Amen ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/35 "2010-02-07T04:01:21Z")
I found this one on DemUnderground. Our Flying Spaghetti Monster, Who art in orbit around Ramen 324, Hallowed be thy Noodly Appendage. Thy Pasta al dente, They Sauce be done, On earth as it is on dishes. Give us this day our daily meatball, And forgive us our diets, As we forgive those who eat fried chicken. And lead us not into starvation, But deliver us from tofu. For thine is the Meatballs, And the Pasta, And the Sauce, Now and forever. RAmen. works for me! ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/36 "2010-02-07T04:06:47Z")
Here’s the beginning of a prayer in the opposite of the usual direction: For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are perishing-you who dread knowledge-I am the man who will now tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/37 "2010-02-07T04:45:36Z")
“Dear lord: we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothin’.” 😃 Personally, though, I rather like the “Viking Prayer” from [The 13th Warrior](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AadCYlJ4Csc&feature=related). It speaks to me more than fear, shame, and weeping martyrs. (Double 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/38 "2010-02-07T04:48:31Z")
ETA: The Jedi Code: There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no death, there is the Force. And since I’m a lapsed Catholic, I’ll add the obvious: Hail Mary, full of Grace The Lord is with thee Blessed art thou among women And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus Holy Mary, Mother of God Pray for us sinners Now and at the our of our death Amen (Now, for all of you Catholics out there, you need to say 10 Hail Marys for not coming here and adding this one!) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/39 "2010-02-07T05:24:54Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > No sarcastic/insincere prayers please. “Dear God, protect us from the people who believe in you.” (totally sincere) ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976/40 "2010-02-07T14:26:54Z")
Seek the Lord while he may be found, call upon him while he is near; Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on him, And to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and return not thither but water the earth, Making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, So shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, But it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and prosper in the thing for which I sent it. Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning is now and will be forever. Amen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prayers-thread/527976.md?page=3)