# Pre-Nups

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pre-nups/524761>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 13, 2010, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pre-nups/524761 "2010-01-13T05:15:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\
**Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pre-nups/524761/121 "2010-01-18T18:22:19Z")

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> [@elbows](#):
>
> A pre nup is the leap of faith with either no leap, or no faith. No thanks.

Actually, I think that’s fair. I don’t have a lot of faith in my ability to be married for the rest of my life. I believe that humans are wired for serial monogamy, my maternal line doesn’t do life-long marriages very well (if at all), and the longest relationship I’ve ever been in (with my current S.O.) has only lasted all of three years so far. If we’re married for 15 years and still going strong, maybe then I’ll feel more confident saying that I’ll be with him for the rest of my life.

> [@elbows](#):
>
> (Would all the prenup supporters be okay with a clause that says, if he cheats the prenup is void? I’m just curious, sorry for the hijack!)

No, I wouldn’t be. If he cheats or otherwise betrays me so badly that I want a divorce, then I’m probably going to be very angry and vindictive, and that’s exactly the sort of situation that the pre-nup is meant to mitigate. In our case, we really don’t have any assets to protect, but we want to specify that we’re _both_ kinky, so that neither partner could ever use that against the other in a child custody battle. The pre-nup is intended to prevent us from fighting dirty in the event that our relationship ends on bad terms.

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**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\
**Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pre-nups/524761/122 "2010-01-18T19:38:53Z")

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> [@CrazyCatLady](#):
>
> Maybe, maybe not. It depends on whether they were being honest with each other and more importantly, if they were being honest with themselves about what the other person’s behavior meant. Most of the people I’ve seen marry assholes have had _plenty_ of advance warning the asshole was an asshole long before things got the point of discussing marriage, but they chose to convince themselves otherwise. And people like that can’t be saved from themselves by legal contracts, interventions by friends and family, or anything else.

In this case, probably would have - there were other factors in play than “true love.” And there wasn’t alot of advance warning, they married within months of meeting. Or at least he wouldn’t be able to cry that he was taken in.

Which sort of gets to the “small leap of faith” vs. “giant leap of faith” point. While no one knows what the future holds, marrying someone you’ve known for a few months is a riskier proposition than marrying someone you’ve known for years.

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