# Preacher - the movie
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [July 12, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017 "2003-07-12T18:58:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/1 "2003-07-12T18:58:18Z")
Anyone else here looking forward to seeing [this movie](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0326004)? It’s currently in production.
Since Garth Ennis is writing the screenplay, I’m not worried about Hollywood messing up the source.
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### Author:  [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/2 "2003-07-12T19:12:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by FairyDust \*
> \*\* I’m not worried about Hollywood messing up the source. \*\*
AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahaha!!
Hooo _wipes tear_
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### Author:  [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/3 "2003-07-12T19:35:22Z")
Good luck to 'em, but I can’t imagine how a work of that length with such graphic (no pun intended) content could survive the translation.
Hmmmm…maybe if they get Tommy Lee Jones to play Herr Starr. I would pay to see him deliver the line “My cock is in the bitch’s mouth…and not in a good way.”
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### Author:  [@RangerDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RangerDude)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/4 "2003-07-12T20:55:59Z")
My favorite line from the Preacher books is this:
Jody: “That gal’s so sweet you could use her shit for toothpaste.”
(From Volume 9, “The Good Old Boys”)
And yes, I’m looking forward to seeing the movie. No word yet so far on who else will be cast other than James Marsden as Jesse.
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### Author:  [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/5 "2003-07-12T21:00:21Z")
I’m just about finished reading the second trade paperback of _Preacher_ and I’m loving it. I’m seriously bummed that I have to wait for Amazon to deliver the next insallment. I’m actually considering buying all of them in one shot and living on Kraft Dinner and water for several weeks.
That said, I don’t see any reasonable means of making a movie of this series. It’s just too epic, complex, warped & violent to be a mainstream success. The shear number of characters and prohibitive special effects requirements alone would probably sink such a production. I’d love to see an extended mini-series made but that’s just a pipe dream.
Still, I’ll reserve judgement and hope that I’m wrong. The crummy adaptations of Alan Moore’s work (_From Hell_, _LXG_) don’t fill me with much optimism, however.
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### Author:  [@RangerDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RangerDude)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/6 "2003-07-12T21:03:04Z")
FairyDust wrote:
> [@](#):
>
> Since Garth Ennis is writing the screenplay, I’m not worried about Hollywood messing up the source.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \*
> \*\*AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahaha!!
>
> Hooo _wipes tear_ \*\*
Why is this funny? Garth Ennis wrote the Preacher stories. Since he’s the one writing the screenplay, there’s a much better chance of it being faithful to the original source than if they hired someone else to write the screenplay.
Current example: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - Alan Moore wrote the comic books. James Robinson wrote the screenplay. Anyone who’s seen the movie can tell you it is nothing like the comic book.
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### Author:  [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/7 "2003-07-12T21:13:51Z")
Wow. This is a movie sure to bring out the whacko fundie contingent in droves to picket.
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### Author:  [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/8 "2003-07-12T21:24:55Z")
I don’t see the involvement of the original authour as being any sort of guarantee of quality. Afterall, Neil Gaiman has written a number of adaptations of _Sandman_ and _Death_ and they’ve all been rejected by the studios. There’s nothing stopping them from similarly rejecting Garth Ennis’ script or subjecting it to endless re-writes to suit their fucked up visions of mainstream acceptability. Still, it’s better to have Ennis aboard than not. Just remember, if you see the credits “Written by Garth Ennis and Akiva Goldsman” run for the hills!
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### Author:  [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/9 "2003-07-12T22:25:12Z")
I, too, loved the story, but dread the idea of it being a movie. A nice, looong, miniseries on HBO or Cinemax or something, yes…but a two hour film? Not gonna work. Unless they make it with the expectation that it’s going to be a trilogy and leave it very open ended, which with the success of **Lord of the Rings, The Matrix,** and heck, even **Star Wars** , I wouldn’t be too suprised. But I highly doubt it.
And yeah, just because Ennis is writing it doesn’t mean it’s going to be good. The big thing that kills most movies? Producers. If they get a guy who has no concept of the movie to headline the project, he’s going to want to throw in giant spiders, or volcanos, or some big scary Satan or something into it because “Hey, that’s what people want to see!” If Ennis writes a script that will be accepted, it’s going to go threw rewrites, “last minute additions,” and I’m sure is going to have “The most amazing special effects ever scene!” CGI does NOT belong in this movie.
I’m afraid.
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### Author:  [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/10 "2003-07-12T22:54:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by El Elvis Rojo \*
> \*\*And yeah, just because Ennis is writing it doesn’t mean it’s going to be good. The big thing that kills most movies? Producers. If they get a guy who has no concept of the movie to headline the project, he’s going to want to throw in giant spiders, or volcanos, or some big scary Satan or something into it because “Hey, that’s what people want to see!” If Ennis writes a script that will be accepted, it’s going to go threw rewrites, “last minute additions,” and I’m sure is going to have “The most amazing special effects ever scene!” CGI does NOT belong in this movie.
>
> I’m afraid. \*\*
I agree completely.
Clive Barker directed a few films. After seeing what producers did to the movies, he became an executive producer instead.
```
If writers and directors could make the movie the way they wanted to, there would be no director's cut editions.
Ennis can write scenes showing that God is a total wanker. The director can shoot those scenes. The producers can cut those scenes.
```
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/11 "2003-07-12T23:08:35Z")
I’m sorry, but I’m just not buying James Marsden as Jesse. I’m not sure who should play him, but I know it ain’t Cyclops.
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### Author:  [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/12 "2003-07-13T07:18:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Wow. This is a movie sure to bring out the whacko fundie contingent in droves to picket.
I’m waiting for the Capalert guy’s head to explode.
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### Author:  [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/13 "2003-07-13T07:28:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky \*
> \*\*I’m sorry, but I’m just not buying James Marsden as Jesse. I’m not sure who should play him, but I know it ain’t Cyclops. \*\*
How about Pacey from Dawson’s Creek?
😃
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### Author:  [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/14 "2003-07-13T07:30:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Kantalooppi \*
> \*\*I’m waiting for the Capalert guy’s head to explode. \*\*
That is a good and worthwhile goal.
Keep up the happy thoughts!
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### Author:  [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/15 "2003-07-13T16:46:12Z")
[spoiler]Scenario:
Garth Ennis is going over his screenplay for the movie version of Preacher. Jesse Custer enters the room.
JESSE
How’s the screenplay coming along, Garth?
GARTH
My part is all done. But then there’s the real possibility that the producers will butcher it with all sorts of changes to make it “appeal to the mainstream audience”.
JESSE
That doesn’t have to be a problem. I can use The Word on them to make sure that won’t happen.
GARTH
Would you? Wait a sec. You lost that power at the end of Volume Nine.
JESSE
You mean I WILL lose the power. I’m the Jesse Custer from an earlier part of the story when I still can make people do whatever I tell them to do.
GARTH
Cool!
[/spoiler]
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### Author:  [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/16 "2003-07-13T16:59:15Z")
Fairydust, I see a problem with that
Garth-Well, back to writin’
Jesse-Just a minute. I have objections to some of the stuff you have happening later on.
Garth-Like?
Jesse-Well, I’m glad that Hoover ends up so happy. Arseface findin’ true love is awful sweet. An I about pissed myself laughing when Starr lost his dick. BUT, Tulip does NOT become a junkie. She and Cass NEVER have sex. Got that?
Garth-But, the books are already published! There’s nothing I can do!
Jesse-Now I could use the Word to convince you. Or I could break most of the bones in your body. But, I think what I’ll do is open that case of longnecks and see if you can beat the Anal Rampage record. Last champ was a hige Brit. He managed a whole 12 pack.
Garth-Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
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### Author:  [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/17 "2003-07-13T17:05:53Z")
**DocCathode** , that was great!
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### Author:  [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/18 "2003-07-13T17:30:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky \*
> \*\*I’m sorry, but I’m just not buying James Marsden as Jesse. I’m not sure who should play him, but I know it ain’t Cyclops. \*\*
Y’know, that’s exactly what I was thinking. He’s too clean-cut, and he’s younger than me for crap’s sake! I’m not buying it either.
And Garth Ennis may be writing (which may or may not be a benefit), but according to [this](http://www.comics2film.com/ProjectFrame.php?f_id=108), the director is the same woman who directed _Tank Girl_ and (hoo boy) _Nightmare on Elm Street 6_.
Yeah, color me unenthused so far.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/19 "2003-07-13T21:05:24Z")
I really wanted Joaquin Phoenix or Rufus Sewell to play Jesse.
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### Author:  [@Daoloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daoloth)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preacher-the-movie/188017/20 "2003-07-13T21:25:18Z")
Lots of the subplots would have to be cut in order for the story to even be considered film length. I already see Odin’s meatpacking plant and Jesse’s childhood being slashed.
And maybe even poor ol’ Arseface.
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