# Predict absurd future fashions **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 30, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756 "2006-06-30T15:07:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/21 "2006-07-01T14:32:17Z")
When I was a kid, clothes were ‘groovy’. Lots of bright floral patterns, etc. I have Disney’s _The Love Bug_\* DVD, and there’s some footage of Love Bug Day at Disneyland. I’d have to look at it again, but IIRC the person with the grooviest VW Bug won a new Beetle (not a New Beetle, obviously). The winner was this guy in red-and-white striped trousers. I thought, 'My god. People actually dressed like that? :eek: ’ Me? I tended to wear Levi’s 501s, a T-shirt or other '70s-style ‘normal’ shirt, and a flight jacket. Basically I still dress the same. In the ‘80s we had the New Wave look – sort of ‘conservative Punk’ with a mixture of oh-so-ironic suits. (Or maybe not so ironic. Maybe just a reaction to our parents’ liesure suits of the '70s.) Then there was Grunge and flannel. Oh, and the cowboy craze. And next came ‘retro’. Yeah, all of those groovy styles from the '60s were back. Now? I haven’t been paying attention. In the immortal words of Popeye, ‘I yam what I yam.’ I just don’t have the interest or desire to dress to impress people. I started out wearing flight jackets as a child, and for a little while in the mid-to-late-'80s I guess I was trendy. Now I’m not. But I’m too old to care. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/22 "2006-07-01T15:37:34Z")
> [@First Amongst Daves](#): > > I’ve recently noticed in music videos a shift towards fin de siecle decadence. Lots of pouty effeminate types wearing make-up and satin. Yet in some rap videos, camoflage is still cool, possibly because of the war in Iraq. > > While that may be our immediate future, I’m still waiting for capes to come back. One day I’ll fling one over my shoulder and stride jauntily down the street. Maybe fashion will one day go 18th century, with guys wearing heels and powdered wigs, with patches and lacy jabots. I don’t think hoopskirts will ever come back, though. Girls are a wee bit too active these days for that. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/23 "2006-07-01T15:54:36Z")
Put your money on the neo-brutalist S&M look. Dog collars will go mainstream for women, knee-high boots for men. Hat brims worn right over the brow for a sinister, authoritarian look. Wrist chains, too - looong ones that go to a collar, pocket watch or ankle bracelet. And forehead tattoos: the face as inescapable statement to a captive audience. ---
**Author:** ![Schuyler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/54ee81/32.png) [@Schuyler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schuyler)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/24 "2006-07-01T20:59:23Z")
> [@First Amongst Daves](#): > > I’m still waiting for capes to come back. One day I’ll fling one over my shoulder and stride jauntily down the street. [Edna ‘E’ Mode] No capes! [/Edna ‘E’ Mode] ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/25 "2006-07-01T21:07:07Z")
Skirts and pants so low in front they show pubic hair. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/26 "2006-07-01T21:14:17Z")
> [@DanBlather](#): > > Skirts and pants so low in front they show pubic hair. They already are that short: girls just shave. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/27 "2006-07-01T21:17:56Z")
Everybody will have shaven heads with grooves surgically dug into their skulls, and when they want a little bit of head decoration, they will plant chia seeds. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/28 "2006-07-01T23:24:25Z")
Will Eisenhower jackets comr back? Also fedoras-like that look. loche hats for women should coem back. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/29 "2006-07-02T01:21:41Z")
Braided and visible pubic hair. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/30 "2006-07-02T01:39:50Z")
Clown shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/31 "2006-07-02T01:56:41Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > A wide variety of biological modifications, from “furries” who really _are_ anthropmorphic animals, to bizarre sexual modifications I won’t go into. > Implanted firefly genes, for that healthy glow. I was gonna say rhis, but probably not for a century or two. > [@Der Trihs](#): > > Massive, deliberately inhuman cybernetic replacement/additions to the body. Maybe in a _decade_ or two. Me, I do hope capes come back. Then I could wear my black shirt, black tie, black pants, black top-hat _and_ a black cape. ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/32 "2006-07-02T03:23:33Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > My guess is that in a generation or two, it will be “cool” to wear your pants the way old people typically do. Really tight, pulled all the way up to the chest, with the cuffs hovering barely an inch or two below the knees. Funny I was just going to say styles like [The Pants That Ate Fred Mertz](http://tvphotogalleries.com/data/669/1ill13.jpg) would never come back. But [Kriss Kross Dressing](http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000284P.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg), that’s done for good. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/33 "2006-07-02T04:08:36Z")
> [@Small Clanger](#): > > In terms of clothes I doubt it. For cat-walk high-fashion (whatever that’s called) all bets are off. > > **Garments made from _human_ skin will probably be off limits for quite a while though**. Animal skin is old hat obviously. > > Are you saying this _won’t_ happen? I can imagine folks having these by the end of the year. It puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose! (bolding mine) ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/34 "2006-07-02T04:19:11Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > I was gonna say rhis, but probably not for a century or two. > > Maybe in a _decade_ or two. > > Me, I do hope capes come back. Then I could wear my black shirt, black tie, black pants, black top-hat _and_ a black cape. How do you get all those blacks to stay the same? Shit, I can’t get black pants and a black shirt, or even black socks to stay the same black. What’s this god damned secret that you people have? Tell me! Tell mr your secrets!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/35 "2006-07-02T10:47:32Z")
I find myself hoping the children will re-discover Class. I think we lost it somewhere in the 60s, and we’ve never quite been able to find it again. [Class.](http://events.clowningaround.com/images/Lookalike%20Photos/Bogart%20Humphrey.jpg) [Class.](http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/elsewhere/images/2003/jul2/katherine.jpg) [Class.](http://farine.homestead.com/files/marlene.gif) [Class.](http://www.canadianinteriordesign.com/kwi/Page_2/Gloria%20Swanson.jpg) [Class.](http://petpails.american-data.net/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/zw529-thumb.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/36 "2006-07-02T11:00:51Z")
If the young couple I saw at the train station are anything to go by, blue hair, powdery white makeup, facial piercings, day-glo contact lenses and faux-Communist military hats and jackets. And pants that are done up with a belt around the mid-thigh region revealing voluminous baggy cotton boxer shorts. Good lord they looked stupid. (Trans: I am getting old.) As for beachwear, labia-as-jewelry seems to be the new trend. Type “Wicked Weasel” into Google. **NSFW!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/37 "2006-07-03T06:44:24Z")
I’ve been waiting for kids to shave off their eyebrows. Or shave half of each eyebrow off and dye the remaining halves bizarre colors. So far, no dice. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/38 "2006-07-03T07:51:06Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > Actually, the trend of Generation Y is that they shock their parents in how little they rebel. I predict vests, sweaters and heavy wool slacks to come back into fashion. I’ve got it…they’ll either wear Nixon in 72 or I Like Ike pins\*, and talk like people from late 1950s educational films. “Gee, Pop, that’s _swell!_” [old guy] “‘Swe-’!? You cut the shiznit off, _bitch!_” That, or Nazi uniforms. Full, Nazi, Gestapo or SS officer’s uniforms. But if you wear one and you’re white, you’d just look like a “poser.” \*Or even… **“W”** pins. There, _that_ push any of your buttons? ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/39 "2006-07-03T08:30:56Z")
> [@First Amongst Daves](#): > > I’ve recently noticed in music videos a shift towards fin de siecle decadence. Lots of pouty effeminate types wearing make-up and satin. Yet in some rap videos, camoflage is still cool, possibly because of the war in Iraq. Actually, Edwardian-inspired (pouty frou-frou _and_ fin de siecle-ish) fashion has been mainstream for a while. I have a few high-collared blouses with many pintucks and lots of lace that I got at Old Navy. I’m not sure if the trend is a take off Edwardian fashion or if it’s a revival of 1970s prairie fashion. I was going through photos of my mom when she was around my age, and she had lots of little lacy blouses that I wish she had kept so I could steal them. Um, anyway, there’s been a definite swing towards more “feminine” styles in women’s fashion lately. > [@](#): > > While that may be our immediate future, I’m still waiting for capes to come back. One day I’ll fling one over my shoulder and stride jauntily down the street. Dear lord, if capes were in fashion, I’d wear one constantly. Especially if the fashion for women were those little Victorian shoulder capes with lots of couched braid and frog closures. Mmm, decadence. It would please my heart if piratical ware came back in fashion, but my bet is on a return to class, maybe swank. Or corsetry. One of the three. I would be amused to no end if my future children suddenly decided that they needed to be decked out at all times in full Victorian gear, because I would help them to that ends. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/40 "2006-07-03T14:28:27Z")
Unitards or jumpsuits in vivid, dayglow colors or a eye-catching pattern. Like Tiger Stripes, or Op Art patterns. Soft, felt-like slip-on shoes or boots. All of very modern materials that repel water or stains, & selected for climate. Velcro instead of zippers, buttons or buckles. The only _consistant_ trend in clothing over the last 400-odd years is _simplicity of design_. The cut of our clothes is simpler & easier to make each generation, overall. Compare Men’s clothing of 400 years ago, to Men’s clothing of 200 years ago, to today’s business suits. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756.md?page=3)