# Predict absurd future fashions **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 30, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756 "2006-06-30T15:07:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/41 "2006-07-03T14:46:00Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Unitards or jumpsuits in vivid, dayglow colors or a eye-catching pattern. Like Tiger Stripes, or Op Art patterns. Unitards only look good if you spend half of your day in the gym. Whereas a cape can hide a big butt. I predict capes. Sorry, Edna. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/42 "2006-07-03T15:06:42Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > I find myself hoping the children will re-discover Class. I think we lost it somewhere in the 60s, and we’ve never quite been able to find it again. I’ve often hoped for the same thing. Especially in regards to hats. I find the current trend of always dressing casually to be downright offensive in some situations. I was at a funeral a few months ago and stood in the recieving line behind a young lady wearing a red halter top and shorts. At least a dozen attendees wore jeans and t-shirts. Remember, kids to ask yourself: WWMW?\* - What Would Marlene Wear? ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Daves)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/43 "2006-07-03T15:46:00Z")
No one has mentioned _The Fifth Element_ yet? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/44 "2006-07-03T17:24:16Z")
Hologram auras; a mass of floating images that you can’t even see the wearer through ( _Tuf Voyaging_ ) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/45 "2006-07-03T18:23:59Z")
I predict that _all_ of these will be available somewhere, in some subculture or other… and there will be NO mainstream fashion. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/46 "2006-07-03T18:30:12Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Nudity. Actually given how gymnopobic young people (especially boys) are today _their_ children will wither cover everything from wrists to ankles or rebel against their parents excess modesty by exposing as much flesh as possible. Tops could vanish from girls suits and boys might were suits that end _above the knee_ or even “gasp” bath in front others! Women’s clothes will change much more than men’s clothes. I could were a modern suit in 1912 without attracting to much attention, yet a woman who did the same would be stared at and have mothers shooing their kids away. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/47 "2006-07-03T18:33:47Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > blue tooth implants. Gold plated at that. What about Bluetooth implants? ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/48 "2006-07-03T18:36:09Z")
I’ll admit I haven’t been paying attention to fashion all my life, but since I HAVE been, it seems that clothing has gotten more decadent. girls want to dress up like princesses, not like country club tennis players or whatever. So in the next few years, things will get more decadent or in different ways. Bustles, I think, will catch on. Hair fron the 20s to the 40s will be big again. It’s different enough to begin with that not everyone has it, but nobody’s parents wore it and nobody remembers when people wore it and it doesn’t look too stupid. A few people will do it to be different and a few more, and then it’ll become mainstream. Flapper styles will be back too. It’s the perfect combination of slightly edgy (or can be made edgy easily), vintage, and decadent. As for the really crazy crazy stuff… tutus, tulle, and tutu-like styles. Or perhaps tutus with jeans. Geisha styles, perhaps. The round doll mouth is already popping up in punky and some scene kid styles, but will be more mainstream. Shortened versions of kimonos to be worns with jeans or stylized, tailored kimonos to be worn as dresses. Men will wear santa claus beards. Full beards and moustaches. They may tease their long hair to make them look like lions. There will be better-looking temporary tattoos and everyone will have much more extensive tattooing than they do now. Dancer fashions tend to leak into the mainstream inexplicably. So the next two, I’d say, would be wearing capris (made from cut-off sweatpants) under shorts, wearing a leotard only on bottom with the top part hanging out over your pants, and wearing loose knit (like sweater knit. like legwarmers with a waistband.) pants. Also, leotards in general with short skirts (nobody will see your underwear) or even perhaps with wrapped dance skirts so people will walk around all the time like they’re in ballet class. ---
**Author:** ![xnylder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbce88/32.png) [@xnylder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xnylder)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/49 "2006-07-03T19:13:32Z")
Actually, the recent Edwardian/Victorian trend had already begun years previously in Japanese street fashion, and is still going strong over there. [Gothic Lolita](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gothic_Lolita) The magazine Kera shows pictures of girls in both complete Victorian doll-like outfits and combinations of European historical styles with contemporary articles of clothing. They’ve also got classic Japanese items with a punk sensibility, like yukatas with skull patterns. Oh yes, and the occasional tutu-like skirt with jeans… 🙂 I’m thinking, or at least hoping, that more of that creativity will show up on this side of the world. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/50 "2006-07-03T20:06:57Z")
^^ that’s what makes me think it WILL pop up more strongly over here in the not-too-distant future. I’m not being very creative here… just mentioning stuff I think will actually catch on. If we’re going for bizarre… animal print facial tattoos and wearing those long nightshirts in public. That would certainly make me say “wtf” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/51 "2006-07-04T01:14:02Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Yeah, electroluminescent fabric. I figure the next step is LCD fabric that could show video clips on a dress or suit. Unsatisfied with wearing prominent labels, folks could wear actual ads for Dolce & Gabbana or Calvin Klein. 😛 That would be _so cool_! You could play video clips on your clothing! Hmm. Are LCDs flexible, and could they be made thin enough to wear? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/52 "2006-07-04T02:11:17Z")
I’d like to see a return to the days of Men Wearing Hats. And Capes would be pretty cool, but only if I had a sword-stick to go with it. And maybe a top-hat, I haven’t decided yet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/53 "2006-07-04T02:43:34Z")
😕 What _were_ capes ever for? If you want to avoid being cold and wet, a lot of things are better than a cape. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/54 "2006-07-04T02:54:00Z")
I mentioned [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7542608&postcount=32) in another post today. Ladies only, I hope. I noticed a new look amongst the Ladies Who Stand Outside Nasty Motels With Hopeful Looks-tweed blazers and knee length skirts. Either Librarian Kink is more prevalent than I expected, or the Unslut look is now more provocative than skirts short enough to require pube grooming. ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/55 "2006-07-04T13:29:54Z")
It’s already 2006 and I haven’t gotten my silver jumpsuit with the lightning bolt on it OR the moon boots which were promised to me by every 80s movie. So, I am hoping for this to happen soon! ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/56 "2006-07-04T20:57:24Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > 😕 What _were_ capes ever for? If you want to avoid being cold and wet, a lot of things are better than a cape. Spoken like someone who’s never worn one. A full-length hooded cape is Da Bomb, yo. The only thing that keeps me warmer than my wool-lined velvet cape is my Polartech jacket. The only thing that keeps me dryer is my rubber Mac. Those are both synthetics, and I actually forsee a return to natural materials in future. One of many things I took away from Bruce Sterling’s excellent _Heavy Weather_ was the clothing - disposable paper clothing that came on a tear-off roll, originally intended for weather refugees, but adopted by counterculture types as well. Coolest bit - you could run it through an inkjet for instant daily mood statements if you wanted. Although personally, a return to ruffs, slashing, blackwork (and codpieces for men) would be most welcome. But only the earlier stand-up ruff, not the later pieplate ones. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/57 "2006-07-05T20:16:31Z")
I think we’ll see _faux_ modesty fashions - very demure, respectable clothes, with breasts and genitalia showing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Star\_Female](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19b73/32.png) [@Star\_Female](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Star_Female)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/58 "2006-07-11T19:21:14Z")
Ever read the short story **The Conglomeroid Cocktail Party?** ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/59 "2006-07-12T11:48:20Z")
[QUOTE=Lumpy] 😕 What _were_ capes ever for? If you want to avoid being cold and wet, a lot of things are better than a cape. [/QUOTE] If you’re not operating a motor vehicle or doing any work, a cape is generally warmer than a coat. Simple thought experiment, why doesn’t your blanket have sleeves? ---
**Author:** ![Dark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Dark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2023, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756/60 "2023-05-30T20:43:47Z")
Knee high boots for men aren’t actually absurd pretty sure some men would still be iffy about knee high boots like how they were with skinny jeans in the future and yeah pretty sure collars are already kind of popular for women in this era but mostly with gen z people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-absurd-future-fashions/362756.md?page=4)