# Predict how you will die **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 6, 2014, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195 "2014-06-06T13:03:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/1 "2014-06-06T13:03:58Z")
Yes, it’s a morbid, unpleasant topic - anyone who gets too bummed out please stay away. For those of you who are still here: we’re all going to die some way or another. Using either an educated guess, blind intuition, clairvoyance, or - god forbid - a cold hard medical fact that you already know about, predict how you will meet your maker. Peacefully in your sleep? Heart attack from years of unhealthy eating? Skin cancer from too many childhood summers not wearing sun screen? Something darker/different? ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/2 "2014-06-06T13:08:04Z")
Jealous husband… ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/3 "2014-06-06T13:11:33Z")
Colonel Mustard. Billiard Room. Candlestick. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/4 "2014-06-06T13:12:30Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t want to be no chalk line drawing > (I just want to see…) > Toe-tagged question mark, until identifying > (I just want to see…) > I don’t want to fuse with no economy seat > (I just want to see…) > fuel some fireball at 30,000 feet > (I just want to see what kills me) - Cowboy Junkies ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/5 "2014-06-06T13:12:37Z")
> [@RobDog](#): > > Colonel Mustard. Billiard Room. Candlestick. 😃 I do love this board sometimes… ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/6 "2014-06-06T13:16:28Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > Jealous husband… That was always my Dad’s answer: “To be shot, at the age of 90, by a jealous husband. And to have been GUILTY!” ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/7 "2014-06-06T13:18:34Z")
Heroically sacrificing myself flying an F-18 Hornet on a kamikaze mission to destroy the alien mothership, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/8 "2014-06-06T13:21:32Z")
Based on some previous incidents, I’m going to guess from choking on food, and if I have to narrow it down further I’d go with “piece of a tortilla chip lodged in throat.” ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/9 "2014-06-06T13:33:38Z")
[This quiz](http://www.gotoquiz.com/how_will_i_die) said I would die of boredom, which sounds about right. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/10 "2014-06-06T13:49:26Z")
> [@DrumBum](#): > > [This quiz](http://www.gotoquiz.com/how_will_i_die) said I would die of boredom, which sounds about right. Said boredom for me too, but I ain’t buying it. I predict drowning for me. I love to do stuff that involves water, but I can’t swim. I love to sail, but if I went in the water more than 20 feet from shore, I’m gonna die. I love to back country hike, often fording streams and rivers of holy-shit-this-is-deeper-than-I-thought depth. Have had two or three occasions where I thought, “oh crap, I might die here”. I’ve tried to learn to swim a few times, but never got the knack of it. Have no fear of the water, just can’t get the swimming thing right. I probably should have way more fear of the water than I do. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/11 "2014-06-06T14:46:19Z")
Throwing up my hands in the face of a serious illness. I don’t like doctors. I hate dealing with institutional beauracracy and bills. I am vulnerable to feelings of hopelessness and nihilism. So I could see me being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease (like brain cancer) and simply not deal with it until the pain becamse unbearable. And then it would be too late. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/12 "2014-06-06T14:51:36Z")
Monopoly top hat. Oddly, not through asphyxiation, though. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/13 "2014-06-06T15:09:59Z")
Human sacrifice to an active volcano. Well, no. Probably something to do with failing lung function. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/14 "2014-06-06T15:21:19Z")
Alone. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/15 "2014-06-06T15:30:41Z")
Barring getting hit by a Mac truck, probably from throwing another clot. Or some kind of respiratory thing. Maybe both; a pulmonary embolism would be efficient. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/16 "2014-06-06T15:33:47Z")
Unserious answer: my son will finally manage to do something that makes my head explode. Serious answer: one or another of the many old-age-related ailments that are out there, 30-40 years from now. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/17 "2014-06-06T15:37:41Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Throwing up my hands in the face of a serious illness. That’s me as well. When I had a recent cardiac catheterization and stent placement my doctor told me if the situation was too bad for just a stent, they could schedule me for bypass the following day. I told him thoracotomy wasn’t something I’d pursue. He said I wouldn’t have a choice. I explained that indeed, I would. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/18 "2014-06-06T15:59:45Z")
I hope I am as lucky (in relative terms, of course) as both my parents, who were fully functioning human beings into old age, and then had something happen and were gone within a week. I dread the humiliation of having to pay strangers to bathe me and wipe my ass (I don’t have children and my SO, even if he were willing, is not strong enough to do those things for me) for years or even months. A few days at most, please, and then put out the light. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/19 "2014-06-06T16:23:16Z")
Heart attack is most likely. Failing that, getting shot by an irate litigant is a possibility. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195/20 "2014-06-06T16:26:16Z")
In my darker days, I though I’d die of suicide eventually. Now I’m wondering if it’s more likely that my slight heart problem will worsen. Or maybe I’ll die in a car accident, since I’m still new to driving. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-how-you-will-die/690195.md?page=2)