# Predict your own death

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 17, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474 "2003-12-17T05:16:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 19\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![mailman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@mailman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mailman)\
**Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/21 "2003-12-17T17:20:49Z")

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while fast asleep in the gutter i am run over by a speeding taxi

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**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\
**Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/22 "2003-12-17T17:21:57Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by sishoch \*  
> \*\*Suicide, probably with a handgun. It’s just inevitable. I try not to dwell on it. \*\*

I _really_ hope you’re not serious. It’s absolutely not inevitable. If you think about this seriously, please seek some professional help right away.

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**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\
**Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/23 "2003-12-17T17:40:07Z")

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by adam yax

> [@](#):
>
> I expect that I’ll be chased down and torn limb from limb by a pack of snapping turtles.

Hahahahahaha!😃  
by mailman

> [@](#):
>
> while fast asleep in the gutter i am run over by a speeding taxi

that’s funny too…only because it’s a taxi.

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**Author:** ![funions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/34f0e0/32.png) [@funions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funions)\
**Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/24 "2003-12-17T17:47:16Z")

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I’ll probably die from esophageal cancer, like so many of my other family members did before me.

I want to die happy, so if I had my druthers, I’d die at Disneyland.

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**Author:** ![sultana\_of\_slash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sultana\_of\_slash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sultana_of_slash)\
**Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/25 "2003-12-17T18:33:41Z")

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I will catch simultaneous hepatitis C and AIDS from cutting myself during an autopsy, and waste away to a walking skeleton, highly appropriate if I may say so.

If I got to see someone else die at Disneyland, it would make me happy, in a cynical, ugly, pay-the-lying-bastards-back way.

If Funion wants to be it, I’ll applaud.

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**Author:** ![sishoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3e96dc/32.png) [@sishoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sishoch)\
**Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/26 "2003-12-17T21:06:44Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by photopat \*  
> \*\*I _really_ hope you’re not serious. It’s absolutely not inevitable. If you think about this seriously, please seek some professional help right away. \*\*

I am serious. When I have accomplished all that I can and can no longer live my life to my own satisfaction, I will end it. My life is my own and when it is of no value to me, there is no reason to continue.

But that time is (I hope) far in the future. I am not depressed (I know what it feels like, but that is a long and boring story, so I won’t include it here) and I have no intention of leaving this mortal coil anytime soon.

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**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\
**Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/27 "2003-12-17T22:04:38Z")

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Car accident is rather higher on the list for me as I drive quite a bit, well over the limit, screaming at other clueless driver’s who just love to switch lanes in front of me without signalling or even bothering to check.

If not, stroke. Both my grandparents on my mom’s side died from stroke.

If I’m still kicking at 100 I’ll be sure to try some “extreme sports” to try to end it in an interesting way.

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**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/28 "2003-12-18T03:38:01Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by grimpixie \*  
> \*\*Not sure how, but I’m due to be popping my clogs on [Tuesday, October 4, 2044](http://www.deathclock.com).
> 
> 🙂 Grim \*\*

Great… I’m **already** dead :o

Monday, July 9, 2001

And no, I’m not kidding – that’s what it said ☹  
Anyway, to answer the question, I’m guessing stroke or heart attack. Ideally, it would be in my sleep though. I’m too much of a wuss. I just don’t want to wake up.

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**Author:** ![lt180ml](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lt180ml](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lt180ml)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/29 "2003-12-18T04:32:53Z")

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According to **grimpixie** ’s website I have till 2059, but personally I have several more guesses:

1. Starvation, age 25
2. Stress-related heart attack, 30
3. Aneurism/stroke 55
4. Old Age 85+

Causes of the above:

1. Career-related difficulties (aspiring musician.)
2. Career related difficulties (stress from free-lancing too many wedding gigs)
3. Trumpet-related difficulties (because trumpeters maintain up to 50 psi in the oral cavity for hours every day, we’re at a higher risk for this sort of stuff. Gottfried Reiche, JS Bach’s trumpeter, died after playing in a cantata. I can think of 3 world-famous trumpeters who died of/suffered from heart conditions in late middle age related to playing.)
4. Unfortunately for my audience, I might just wind up in a symphony with tenure, health benefits and salary, and survive to torture you all with my raucous noises long after the timpanist, the trombones, and the horns have caused me permanent severe hearing loss.

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**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/30 "2003-12-18T05:20:19Z")

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I plan on spontaneously combusting while watching the final episode of “Survivor: South Compton” in the year 2056.

That or keel over from a dark chocolate espresso bean overdose.

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**Author:** ![caligynephobia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@caligynephobia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caligynephobia)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/31 "2003-12-18T05:51:19Z")

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The same giant killer asteroid that nails all of us.

I’d prefer hypoxia though.

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**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/32 "2003-12-18T07:51:14Z")

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Site says I’ll live until 2038 but something tells me it’s going to be a year that ends in a 3. Building collapse. Just a hunch. Seems pretty ominous but I’d rather that than waste away in a hospital.

Besides, this is my 666th post.

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**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/33 "2003-12-18T08:44:46Z")

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Hypochondria. My grandfather actually died from it. Apparently he used to go to the doctor for the most minor aches and pains. Eventually got misdiagnosed and died from mis-use of some new medicine. This was long before I was born - he died the day of Yuri Gagarin’s flight - but everything I know says I have a lot in common with him.

The problem is, what do you do if you’re paranoid about your hypochondria?

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**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/34 "2003-12-18T14:04:02Z")

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Cancer is the killer of choice in my family. My husband’s family is partial to alcoholism and old age. Real old age. I’d like to think I’ll go out in a blaze of glory. Getting caught in the crossfire between rival motorcycle gangs has a certain appeal, but more than likely it’ll be something dorky like getting hit by a car while changing a flat.

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**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/35 "2003-12-18T14:37:39Z")

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How come nobody is ever murdered by a midget? They have good reason to be angry.

“Rooves was shot fourteen times in the thigh today and eventually bled to death.”

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**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\
**Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/36 "2003-12-18T14:58:29Z")

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I just ran my info through the death clock. According to it I will die on May 19th. The thing is, if I stay off the smokes, it will be May 19 2041. If I start smoking it will be May 19, 2034. I guess that a May death is inevitable…

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**Author:** ![Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Sota_Girl)\
**Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/37 "2003-12-19T06:32:38Z")

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I’m going to take a fall, break my hip and die during surgery some time in my 80s…

Reason being that’s what happened to my paternal Grandmother and one of my aunts on that side of the family.

Either that or have a stroke or heart disease (but not a heart attack), somewhat runs in the family.

Although, there has been some cancer in the family, and while I don’t smoke, I do go in streaks of spending time in the tanning booths or soaking up the real rays in summer by the pool.

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**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\
**Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/38 "2003-12-19T06:52:00Z")

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Diabetic with high iron. My liver and kidneys are toast. I imagine that will start quite a painful long cascade of failures.

I can’t wait.

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**Author:** ![A\_Curious\_Writer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@A\_Curious\_Writer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Curious_Writer)\
**Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-your-own-death/219474/39 "2003-12-19T18:09:52Z")

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Well, in a story way too comlpex for here, I’ve weeded out lots of the stress-causing confrontation of my job by settling down to wills, estates, etc. and not doing any more litigation. So, the heart problems I was having a little of in my early 30s are gone. By never drinking I have avoided the problem that plagued my biiological father, who I never met. Sooo, on to my mom’s side, and with some of his side combined with that, I think about 77 (same age as my grandparents both died) or in 2046/early 2047. I would like my last words to be, “I’m goin’ HOME!!!” if I’m awake when I pass. Because, I have faith that the Lord has put me here for a purpose, and won’t take me till my life is over.

Although, the way things are going, I predict something nobody else has (well, I guess the asteroid bit was kinda like that), that I’m going to be caught up in the twinkling of an eye with those who remain after the dead in Christ rise first. (From I Corinthians 15)

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