# Preferring boy babies **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 19, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205 "2001-11-19T14:59:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/21 "2001-11-20T00:27:02Z")
China’s one child policy is discussed somewhat in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=98741](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=98741) ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/22 "2001-11-20T00:38:35Z")
A woman from China worked in our lab for a while. She mentioned that she and her husband (both science Ph.D’s) would eventually like to return to China, but they were taking advantage of their U.S. residence to have a second child. They were both boys, but she also let slip one day that she kind of wished the second had been a girl, because she thought girls were easier to raise. Ha. I’m going to look around for a citation, but I remember reading somewhere that a recent poll showed a slight preference for girls in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/23 "2001-11-20T00:45:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SisterCoyote \* > **There’s at least one other reason, but I don’t have my sources to hand, and don’t remember it off the top of my head. And it has nothing to do with Opal.** Isn’t the fact that through most of recorded history women were considered inferior to men still the primary reason for preference for boy babies (and the cause of the other economic and social reasons listed here)? Even in the enlightened 21st century U.S., there is still sex discrimation, although we now have laws to combat the problem. But just looking at societies like Afghanistan under the (late) Taliban is a reminder that for many centuries men were considered preferable to women, and by extension boys were considered preferable to girls, because men were considered to be **better** than women. The “oh, good, it’s a boy” reaction is evidence that this attitude still persists in some forms today. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/24 "2001-11-20T01:29:11Z")
In some regions, a desire for male infants may be the result of a high male mortality rate. If many young men die in combat, hunting accidents, etc., then the male:female ratio will be skewed to the female side unless there are more male babies than girl babies. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/25 "2001-11-20T06:21:45Z")
Whack-a-Mole wrote: > [@](#): > > I would guess that there is a _slight_ preference for boys over girls in the US. No cites…just a quick gut check. Well, according to a recent episode of _Nova_ titled “18 Ways to Make a Baby,” there is actually a preference for **girls over boys** in the U.S… I don’t know why. Maybe because girls are supposed to be made of sugar and spice and all that’s nice, while boys are made of festering roadkill or something. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/26 "2001-11-20T12:22:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Dowry: Are there not some places where The parents of a girl have to be paid a large dowry to marry their daughter? \*\* Yes, in the United Arab Emirates. It’s leading so many men to go for foreign wives, as it’s cheaper, that the government is even giving grants to help them marry local women. And here’s a mega-factoid because I can’t remember where I read it, but somewhere in China there is a much-hushed-up village that still operates under a matriarchal society. The women own all the property, when married (if they marry offically?) the men may stay with them a couple of nights a week, but mainly still live with their mothers. Anyway I can’t remember all the details, but for the one salient fact: **this is the only place in the whole of China where there is no preference for boy babies.** There’s no preference for girls either, they’re just welcomed equally. Back to the gender imbalance thing: an Indian friend told me there’s some village in India where there aren’t many women, and the men are quite poor. Most of the women there are have married richer men from surrounding villages. With the result that there aren’t enough women left. So the men “share” wives. A great new thread: Female Polygamy: Treat or Torment? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/27 "2001-11-20T13:28:17Z")
There is a definiate preference for girls over boys amongst US couples adopting internationally. When we did our adoption (South Korea) the wait for a girl was only about a month longer than the wait for a boy. But couples wait many months to get a girl over a boy. There is a theory that the reason for this preference (and perhaps explaining any slight preference in bio kids) is that the instigator in a couple for having children (now that children is a choice) is most often (note most, not always YMMV) the woman. And women prefer to have little girls like them. There is also the belief that girls are easier to raise. In multi-racial adoption (white couple adopting Latino, Black, or Asian child) there is the additional thought that women of other races are somehow less threatening and have an easier time than men of other races. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/28 "2001-11-20T14:16:29Z")
I’ve always wanted a girl as a child. Dunno why. i like girl names??? Not that I would be disappointed to have a boy, just that—were the choice mine—I _would_ choose, and the child would be female. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/29 "2001-11-20T14:19:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SisterCoyote \* > \*\*In China, at least, boy babies are preferred for a few reasons: > > There’s at least one other reason, but I don’t have my sources to hand, and don’t remember it off the top of my head. And it has nothing to do with Opal. > > \*\* I guess this other reason you forgot is that the sons are in charge of the ancestor’s cult (the ancestors including the parents). Without son, nobody will take care of their manes. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/30 "2001-11-20T14:28:27Z")
istara wrote: > [@](#): > > And here’s a mega-factoid because I can’t remember where I read it, but somewhere in China there is a much-hushed-up village that still operates under a matriarchal society. The women own all the property, when married (if they marry offically?) the men may stay with them a couple of nights a week, but mainly still live with their mothers. > > Anyway I can’t remember all the details, but for the one salient fact: **this is the only place in the whole of China where there is no preference for boy babies.** There’s no preference for girls either, they’re just welcomed equally. Well, if what a mainland-Chinese acquaintance of mine a few years ago told me was accurate, this “mega-factoid” **can’t** be true. She said that in the Chinese cities – e.g. Beijing – there was a preference for **girls** over boys due to the fact that newlyweds usually move in with the bride’s family and not the groom’s, and take some of the groom’s family’s wealth with them. It is only in **rural** China that there is a preference for boys over girls. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/31 "2001-11-20T14:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mmm… forbidden doughnut \* > \*\*Just an aside…over the past six weeks or so, I’ve been wondering if there isn’t a preference for boy babies even here in the good ole US of A. \*\* Don’t know for the USA, but I remember having read here (France) some study ( of course, it’s only worth what an anonymous study is worth) showing that if parents were able to choose the sex of their childrens, the percentage of babyboys would be close to 60%. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/32 "2001-11-20T14:48:55Z")
So which is born more often, girls or boys? Of course, you have to take into account which (boys or girls) survivies into adulthood too. What if families were allowed to have 2? Would it fix the ratio? ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/33 "2001-11-20T14:59:28Z")
Well initially, I wanted a boy because I was scared of having to deal with bitchy-teenager-having-sex. And I got my wish. Two more times in fact. I love all of my children very much, although I have to say that I was disappointed the third time. I now have three boys… No girls… This upset me at the time because I have seen it numerous times in several families: The grandchildren ‘belong’ to the mother’s mother. And not for lack of trying on the MIL’s part, either. I will never have grandchildren who are considered ‘mine’. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/34 "2001-11-20T15:21:43Z")
miamouse wrote: > [@](#): > > Well initially, I wanted a boy because I was scared of having to deal with bitchy-teenager-having-sex. Teenage boys don’t have sex? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/35 "2001-11-20T15:37:36Z")
Maybe she meant teenage boys aren’t bitchy. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/36 "2001-11-20T15:41:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by miamouse \* > **\ I love all of my children very much, although I have to say that I was disappointed the third time.\** AHA! I knew it! (Third girl of five here.) ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/37 "2001-11-20T16:11:59Z")
\*\*vanilla wrote: > [@](#): > > Maybe she meant teenage boys aren’t bitchy.\*\* Thanks, vanilla. Yes, that’s what I mean. And **featherlou,** I didn’t say I’m disappointed NOW. Just at the time (in my high-on-hormones state) it hit me that I won’t be having any girls. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/38 "2001-11-20T16:14:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer: > > > [@](#): > > > > Anyway I can’t remember all the details, but for the one salient fact: this is the only place in the whole of China where there is no preference for boy babies. There’s no preference for girls either, they’re just welcomed equally. > > Well, if what a mainland-Chinese acquaintance of mine a few years ago told me was accurate, this “mega-factoid” can’t be true. I believe it is true. In my most recent issue of Marie Claire magazine (yeah, yeah, but it’s my only girly magzine, okay?), there is an article devoted to the few places around the world that do have matriarchal societies. One of them is in China, and is as **pugluvr** describes. I’ll try to post the relevent info this week. On another note, I am one of the dorks that says, “Oh, how exciting!” or whatever as soon as a pregnant couple tells me the gender of their expected child. I know it’s stupid, but I do say it regardless of whether it’s a boy or a girl-- somehow knowing the gender of this baby takes that baby from being a lump to a real human being. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/39 "2001-11-20T16:18:23Z")
Damnit. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205/40 "2001-11-20T16:27:44Z")
Well initially, I wanted a boy because I was scared of having to deal with bitchy-teenager-having-sex. And I got my wish. Two more times in fact. I love all of my children very much, although I have to say that I was disappointed the third time. I now have three boys… No girls… This upset me at the time because I have seen it numerous times in several families: The grandchildren ‘belong’ to the mother’s mother. And not for lack of trying on the MIL’s part, either. I will never have grandchildren who are considered ‘mine’. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preferring-boy-babies/94205.md?page=3)