# Pregnancy is not a joke, not a magic fairyland, and you're an idiot **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160 "2006-01-09T15:36:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/21 "2006-01-09T19:15:02Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > It’s amazing I can tie my shoes and pick my nose at the same time. That is amazing! I need two hands to tie my shoes, so can only imagine what you use to pick your nose at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/22 "2006-01-09T19:23:31Z")
> [@jacquilynne](#): > > That is amazing! > > I need two hands to tie my shoes, so can only imagine what you use to pick your nose at the same time. You don’t want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/23 "2006-01-09T21:27:02Z")
Maybe talking to someone who has had an abortion might help her decide to use birth control. I have watched many of my friends go through this, and it’s never anything but miserable for them, regardless of how right the decision was for them. You could also point out to her how much it costs to raise a kid. There was a health teacher at my last job who had giant blown-up close-up photos of the external symptoms of various STDs on the genitalia, hanging all over the walls of his classroom. Freaked ME out and I’m not some young kid. If she stopped to consider what her life would be like if she got herpes simplex II, or hepatitis C, or AIDS, she might insist on the condom. But hey, maybe she’s just dumb and in denial, like most folks who are so in love they can’t think straight, in which case… there’s nothing you can do. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/24 "2006-01-09T21:55:03Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > I am the unholy product of such a union. > > In my mother’s own words: > > "It was my birthday. We got drunk, had a poke, and went to the CNE. Damn, if you were a bit younger (I assume) I’d swear I knew your mum. I know someone with the same story, except the parents were (and still are) pals who only ended up in bed that one time because they were drunk. The fruit of their debauch is named “Ryan.” (For “Rye and Seven.”) ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/25 "2006-01-09T22:07:43Z")
> [@jacquilynne](#): > > That is amazing! > > I need two hands to tie my shoes, so can only imagine what you use to pick your nose at the same time. It’s different for us boys. Anyway, buy her some prenatal vitamins and say, “Well, since you’re trying to get pregnant, this will help prevent certain birth defects.” That or arrange to have Studly killed. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/26 "2006-01-09T22:11:57Z")
Perhaps you could provide Studley some legal education on the topic of child support? Nothing threatening, of course, just a reminder of his obligations if something unexpected should happen. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/27 "2006-01-09T22:19:49Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > She tried the Pill for a month, but experienced undesirable side effects. Just want to point out a couple of things here: Side effects for the Pill tend to be worse in the first month or two than they will be later. Sometimes, some side effects will show up in the first month or two and then never come back- I had that experience with breast pain on the pill I’m currently taking. [There are many different birth control pills, all of which have different side effects](http://www.wdxcyber.com/ncontr13.htm). She shouldn’t assume that, because she had a bad experience with one type of pill, that she would have the same experience on another. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/28 "2006-01-09T23:19:03Z")
Add my voice to all who think she is not at all interested in avoiding pregnancy. It sounds like she senses that Studley ain’t the marrying type, and is figureing on a child to keep him around. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/29 "2006-01-09T23:25:13Z")
Also, she especially needs to know about [chlamydia](http://herpes-coldsores.com/std/chlamydia.htm), since it’s so often asymptomatic and can destroy her future fertility. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/30 "2006-01-10T01:18:03Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > That or arrange to have Studly killed. I’m all for this one. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/31 "2006-01-10T01:53:52Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > > [@Excalibre](#): > > > > That or arrange to have Studly killed. > > I’m all for this one. But then she would lose her boyfriend. Why not just take him out on the town, get him shit faced drunk, have him tatooed from top to bottom with Disney characters, and give him a vasectomy under the guise of a scrotal piercing. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/32 "2006-01-10T01:59:48Z")
> [@jacquilynne of Toronto](#): > > > [@Dante of Toronto](#): > > > > It’s amazing I can tie my shoes and pick my nose at the same time. > > I need two hands to tie my shoes, so can only imagine what you use to pick your nose at the same time. I moved from Toronto to the upper crust burb of Oakville, where they demoted me from grade 1 back to Kindergarten because I could not tie my shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/33 "2006-01-10T02:34:51Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Perhaps you could provide Studley some legal education on the topic of child support? Nothing threatening, of course, just a reminder of his obligations if something unexpected should happen. I would suggest offering this information to HER as well, **Bricker**. Even if she won’t listen to reason now, she can at least be apprised when the time comes that chikld support is something she’s _entitled_ to, not something she has to beg for. Let her know exactly the steps she would need to go through to make Studley pay up whether he wants to or not. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/34 "2006-01-10T02:58:02Z")
I too am constantly amazed at the kind of people who refuse to think about STDs. My SO’s mother’s best friend is mid-60’s, wealthy, business owner, and in decent shape. She goes out of town on long weekends with men she meets online for three days of unprotected sex with total strangers - mostly lower-income younger types (I’m talking 35-50 here) that she can order around. I thank God that her child-bearing days are over (and most of her children aren’t talking to her anyway) but her STD-catching days are still very much here. Plus there is the added risk of locking yourself in a cabin with a complete stranger. And she still has the unmitigated _gall_ to be heartbroken about it when they dump her. I have zero sympathy for her. Zero ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/35 "2006-01-10T03:14:32Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > I haven’t had sex without birth control of some kind ever, not once. And yet, there are millions, literally millions, of women pregnant with little **fetus** es right at this moment. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/36 "2006-01-10T05:48:05Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > I have friends like this, too. Which I guess you would expect, since I’m 19. It’s so sad, but like anything else in love and war, nothing you can say can really change anything at this point (since she’s already showed enough denseness, and willingness to stay in her fantasy world, to her other friends). > > I haven’t had sex without birth control of some kind ever, not once. I haven’t used a condom in a long time, but my current GF has an IUD in there, so it’s all gravy. She has no complaints, and [Wikipedia says it’s the cheapest available form of birth control](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IUD), as well as being just about as effective as the pill. It lasts 2, 5 or 10 years, depending on the type. Pregnancy isn’t the only thing to be worried about…an IUD won’t prevent transmission of STDs, do both of you a favor and use condoms. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/37 "2006-01-10T10:21:12Z")
Someone also might want to remind her about HPVs, human papillomaviruses, aka genital warts. HPVs are now known to be responsible for most cases of cervical cancer and they also cause cancer in the vulva, vagina, penis, and anus. [Here’s a link to the National Cancer Institute’s website on them.](http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/HPV) Oh yes, according to the website, HPVs are also incurable. Is there a chance the possibility of incurable, cancer-causing genital warts will wake her up, or have I just invented a new band name? CJ ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/38 "2006-01-10T11:57:57Z")
Darn Bricker… shitty situation. The worst part is watching from the sidelines without being able to do much. Well… unless you start playing dirty and tell Studley she is pregnant to see his reaction. I dare say that if this girl isn’t already pregnant… she is lucky. What your describing is a certain pregnancy in at most 2-3 months. Unless Studley or Blondie are infertile. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/39 "2006-01-10T12:13:58Z")
My sister is like the girl in the OP. She had a pregnancy scare, then 3 weeks later she’s actually pregnant. Pretty obvious she wanted to. Now she’s desperately trying to cling onto the father, she has no job, and not only does she have no money, she is being sued for $14k but refuses to admit bankruptcy. > [@Valgard](#): > > Pregnancy isn’t the only thing to be worried about…an IUD won’t prevent transmission of STDs, do both of you a favor and use condoms. I know you may think anyone of the ripe old age of 19 is naive and just a breeding ground for STD’s, but some of us bypassed the “fuck everything that moves” stage. Sure, people should use condoms. But there are circumstances where it is not needed. I’m have an inkling that **fetus** is not blindly in love, and has thoroughly thought of the consequences of his actions (of course that may not be the case). I’m 19 and engaged. I have a contraceptive implant (Implanon: which is effective for 3 years, but has a 30:20:30 chance of menstruation getting worse:same:better so probably isn’t something the girl in the OP is likely to try) and we don’t use condoms. Me and my fiancee had thoroughly discussed our sex lives before having sex. I’ve been tested and he’s a geek\*. Quit the condescending attitude. Sorry, you hit a nerve. - 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160/40 "2006-01-10T12:26:01Z")
Thanks, **Go You Big Red Fire Engine** (great Dopername BTW). I have indeed thoroughly thought of the consequences of my actions. Any detractors who want more details are advised to blow it out their ear. You’re also correct that my GF doesn’t use Implanon. I don’t remember the exact brand name and frankly there’s not much reason for me to divulge it for her here, but it’s mentioned on the Wikipedia article that I believe I linked to earlier, and it’s good for five years. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnancy-is-not-a-joke-not-a-magic-fairyland-and-youre-an-idiot/339160.md?page=3)