# Pregnant woman demands seat on train (London)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [May 9, 2011, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263 "2011-05-09T12:41:53Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/21 "2011-05-09T17:41:08Z")
We obviously can’t judge tone of voice, here, but from the wording the OP gave us, her request sounds to me like it was perfectly polite. Heck, I’d probably consider that a polite request even if the transit system didn’t have an explicit policy of reserving those seats for pregnant women and provided buttons for pregnant women for them to identify themselves.
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### Author:  [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/22 "2011-05-09T17:48:35Z")
> [@DivineComedienne](#):
>
> Call me old-fashioned, but if I find myself in a situation where seats are at a premium, I think that men should stand so women can sit; young people should stand so old people should sit; pregnant women, or anyone (male or female) travelling with a small child should be offered a seat by an able-bodied person of either sex. Somebody gets on the bus with a load of groceries? Let them sit down. It’s not entitlement, it’s common courtesy. It appalls me to watch able-bodied men sit on their butts while women with toddlers struggle to keep their balance while carrying a baby in one arm on a crowded bus. How were these men brought up? And don’t get me started on the men who wear baseball caps indoors…! I will always offer my seat to someone who needs it more.
You can’t always tell who needs it more. I am by all appearances a healthy middle aged male. I have virtually no cartilage on my hip bones and I do a lot of swimming to keep my weight down so I can put off getting a hip replacement but standing on the train for half an hour each way is physically painful. When I travel with my wife, I sit down first (except when she was pregnant). We studiously avoid the disabled seats because I feel like a tool sitting in them. On the plus side when i get my hip replacments I can add a few inches to my height.
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### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/23 "2011-05-09T17:57:38Z")
> [@DragonAsh](#):
>
> But I see the following a lot, including this morning: Woman gets on the train, moves in front of the person sitting down in the seat closest to the door. Said person is busy with what looks to be company paperwork or whatever. Woman proceeds to tap him on the shoulder, points to her ‘baby on board’ pin on her bag, and says, and I quote, ‘Could you stand up please, I’d like to sit down’.
Since the pin is given out to pregnant women specifically so that they may have the exact seats you referred to here, I really don’t see the problem.
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### Author:  [@DivineComedienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DivineComedienne)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/24 "2011-05-09T17:58:38Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#):
>
> You can’t always tell who needs it more. I am by all appearances a healthy middle aged male. I have virtually no cartilage on my hip bones and I do a lot of swimming to keep my weight down so I can put off getting a hip replacement but standing on the train for half an hour each way is physically painful. When I travel with my wife, I sit down first (except when she was pregnant). We studiously avoid the disabled seats because I feel like a tool sitting in them. On the plus side when i get my hip replacments I can add a few inches to my height.
Point taken - you’re right, you can’t always tell. My mother had lung cancer, and could not walk more than 100 yards at a time, but otherwise looked healthy. I myself have back problems, which is not visible to anyone who sees me. You are certainly entitled to sit if it causes you pain to stand, and you are courteous enough to sit in the “general seating” area, rather than the disabled seats, even though it sounds like you qualify. But I would still maintain that you are one of the exceptions, rather than the rule. I have back pain, but I would still give up my seat to a pregnant woman or an elderly person.
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### Author:  [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/25 "2011-05-09T18:07:34Z")
> [@Gyrate](#):
>
> It is, and they are. Usually people do give up their seats but people also usually zone out or read or text during the commute so don’t always notice. There’s no harm in asking someone to move.
>
> Here’s a fun anecdote which does not necessarily reflect well on us: when my wife was pregnant a few years ago she was on a crowded, jostling train and asked a seated woman next to her if she could sit down as she was not feeling overly well (she had her Baby on Board badge on). The woman responded with a torrent of abuse and profanity. Thirty seconds later, my wife threw up on her.
>
> I’m just sayin’.
It doesn’t not reflect well on you. 😃 It doesn’t reflect well on the other woman in particular, but if I had been on that train, I would have offered your wife a mint and sip of water (if I had them available) and for sure a hearty “Congratulations on your perfect aim!”
I betcha that woman never turned down a “I don’t feel good; may I have your seat?” request ever again!
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/26 "2011-05-09T18:07:49Z")
“Baby on Board” badge? I would, on aesthetic principles, never do any favours for someone wearing something so ridiculous.
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### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/27 "2011-05-09T18:09:41Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> “Baby on Board” badge? I would, on aesthetic principles, never do any favours for someone wearing something so ridiculous.
Did you read the rest of the thread, in which it was explained that these are actually given out by the transit authority?
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/28 "2011-05-09T18:19:59Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> Did you read the rest of the thread, in which it was explained that these are actually given out by the transit authority?
That’s no excuse. They should still be embarrassed to wear them. If you want to ask a favour of someone, you should have to ask, not rely on idiotic signage.
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### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/29 "2011-05-09T18:24:26Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> That’s no excuse. They should still be embarrassed to wear them. If you want to ask a favour of someone, you should have to ask, not rely on idiotic signage.
It’s not a favor. Those seats are specifically designated for pregnant woman and the disabled. Hence the pins.
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### Author:  [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/30 "2011-05-09T18:29:10Z")
If there’s a designated seat policy, it’s appropriate with bad tact. If there’s not, then I’d have punched her right in the baby.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/31 "2011-05-09T18:29:39Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> It’s not a favor. Those seats are specifically designated for pregnant woman and the disabled. Hence the pins.
So what? Have the dignity to ask someone to stand up. Wearing a badge with a stupid pun on it declaring your reproductive state is tacky.
Furthermore, DragonAsh has specified that these incidents are not restricted to the reserved seating areas.
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### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/32 "2011-05-09T18:33:29Z")
“Baby on board” is a pun?
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### Author:  [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/33 "2011-05-09T18:39:39Z")
I’m gonna get one of those badges.
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### Author:  [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/34 "2011-05-09T18:41:51Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> “Baby on Board” badge? I would, on aesthetic principles, never do any favours for someone wearing something so ridiculous.
Glad to see I am not the only one who thinks it us ridiculous and tacky.
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### Author:  [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/35 "2011-05-09T19:27:21Z")
I don’t think it is ridiculous nor tacky. I’m not one to pay attention to the other people on the bus. I simply don’t care. I’ll get out of everyones way and stuff, but I’m not scrutinizing each passenger to see if she’s pregnant. A big bold sign indicating pregnancy would be much more convenient in my opinion.
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/36 "2011-05-09T19:27:27Z")
I’m hesitant about postig this aftetr a coupile of recent threads on handicapped bathroom stalls, but I did sit in handicaped bus seats when I was wearing my arm cast. Nobody questioned it.
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### Author:  [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/37 "2011-05-09T19:44:23Z")
> [@DivineComedienne](#):
>
> Call me old-fashioned, but if I find myself in a situation where seats are at a premium, I think that men should stand so women can sit;
You’re not old-fashioned, just sexist. Why in tarnation should (all other things being equal) men give up seats for women?
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### Author:  [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/38 "2011-05-09T20:03:58Z")
> [@DivineComedienne](#):
>
> Call me old-fashioned, but if I find myself in a situation where seats are at a premium, I think that men should stand so women can sit; young people should stand so old people should sit; pregnant women, or anyone (male or female) travelling with a small child should be offered a seat by an able-bodied person of either sex. Somebody gets on the bus with a load of groceries? Let them sit down. It’s not entitlement, it’s common courtesy. It appalls me to watch able-bodied men sit on their butts while women with toddlers struggle to keep their balance while carrying a baby in one arm on a crowded bus. How were these men brought up? And don’t get me started on the men who wear baseball caps indoors…! I will always offer my seat to someone who needs it more.
Not too sure about an able-bodied man giving up his seat for a clearly able-bodied woman… but this. Its simple common courtesy, and it seems like we’ve got it figured out in DC ok.
For about a year plus I commuted on the metro into DC from Arlington. There is priority seating (for seniors and those with disabilities), near the doors. In the entire time I commuted (and every time I have been on the metro in the 20 plus years I have lived in NoVA), I have never seen anyone NOT immediately jump up without prompting when someone appeared to need a seat. It really doesn’t seem that complicated.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/39 "2011-05-09T20:05:21Z")
> [@sachertorte](#):
>
> I don’t think it is ridiculous nor tacky. I’m not one to pay attention to the other people on the bus. I simply don’t care. I’ll get out of everyones way and stuff, but I’m not scrutinizing each passenger to see if she’s pregnant. A big bold sign indicating pregnancy would be much more convenient in my opinion.
And what if she bent down and you heard this: “Excuse me, I’m pregnant. Do you mind if I take this seat?”
Speech can be an amazing tool.
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### Author:  [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)
#### Post date: [May 9, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-demands-seat-on-train-london/581263/40 "2011-05-09T20:19:00Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> It’s not a favor. Those seats are specifically designated for pregnant woman and the disabled. Hence the pins.
It’s a “favor” done by the system then. An enforced favoritism, rather than a free one.
Which shouldn’t be necessary.
With or without signage, I’d be the one leaping from my seat to offer it to Ms. Pregnant, or speaking to someone on her behalf if I was already standing. I once barked, “Back up! Let the pregnant lady get out!” to a crowd hurriedly pushing into a DC Metro train. They did.
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