# Pregnant woman refuses cancer treatment to save her baby. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2011, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139 "2011-10-19T13:23:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/1 "2011-10-19T13:23:14Z")
She gave birth and died 3 days later. She did get to see and hold her newborn baby. [Sad, but beautiful story of a Mom’s love for her baby.](http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/10/18/oklahoma-mother-reportedly-refused-cancer-treatment-so-child-could-survive/?test=latestnews) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/2 "2011-10-19T14:24:05Z")
I lost a friend that way; brain tumor while pregnant. She definately could have beaten it if she had choosen treatment, but she would have lost the baby. It was her choice, all through the pregnancy. Her husband sold the house & packed up the kids to Utah after she died (shortly after childbirth) and I never heard anything from or about them since. …all I can say is…that kid better grow up to be extra f-cking amazing… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/3 "2011-10-19T14:32:22Z")
My aunt got luckier; her breast cancer was detected because she was pregnant and the nurse, who’d known her since they were little, wanted to show off the shiny new machine, which worked sort of like a radar, see, and we can use it to look at the baby while it’s inside, or at the breasts to… uh… doctor? Doctor! She refused to have the baby aborted and start treatment (no, she wasn’t offered the option of starting treatment without the abortion), requested a change of ObGyn on moral grounds, the baby was induced at 7 months and stayed in the NICU (back then, one of only two to have incubators in all of Spain) while she was driven to the nearest oncology unit for treatment. My cousin has always been on the fragile side (specially if you compare him with his eldest brother, but said brother is one of those guys who look like they’ve been built rather than birthed) and Auntie’s bones were left in bad shape by the treatment (she’s had broken bones with teenage-boy frequency ever since), but both survived. Actually, right now she’s in the hospital (the same one where the cancer got detected) with a broken hip. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/4 "2011-10-19T16:43:17Z")
This is why I need some kind of hormone sensor on my Web Nanny, because that is a pants-wettingly sad and awful when one is pregnant. Interesting question, though, and one my husband and I talked about long before deciding to conceive. ---
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/5 "2011-10-19T17:21:42Z")
I worked with a breast cancer researcher who was diagnosed with a estrogen sensitive invasive breast cancer in her 6 month of pregnancy. She had her mastectomy while pregnant and they scheduled a c-section at 33 weeks for the baby. While the baby was in the NICU, she started treatment. It’s a very sad story to have a mother leave a child that she tried so hard to protect. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/6 "2011-10-19T17:27:51Z")
I can absolutely sympathise with the difficulty of the decision in this situation but all that sticks in my head is how heavy the expectations will be for that poor child. Can you imagine spending your entire life knowing your mother chose to die in order to save you? At least there are no older siblings to resent this baby but with no father identified she’s starting off life with no parents at all. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/7 "2011-10-19T18:08:50Z")
My husband says his twin brother was a tumor. His mom was well over 40 when she stopped menstruating ,and as was common in those days she eventually went along to the doctor to talk about a hysterectomy. Turns out she had both a fetus and a tumor in her uterus. She was advised to have a hysterectomy right away but she decided to wait and have the baby. They all came out at the same time a couple months later - baby, tumor and plumbing. She lived another 30 years but dies of lung cancer after a lifetime of heavy smoking. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/8 "2011-10-19T18:26:11Z")
I feel worse for the husband she left behind. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/9 "2011-10-19T18:34:11Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > I feel worse for the husband she left behind. She had no husband, her brother is looking after the baby (from the article I read) and father is unknown. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/10 "2011-10-19T18:40:44Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I can absolutely sympathise with the difficulty of the decision in this situation but all that sticks in my head is how heavy the expectations will be for that poor child. Can you imagine spending your entire life knowing your mother chose to die in order to save you? > > At least there are no older siblings to resent this baby but with no father identified she’s starting off life with no parents at all. No, I can’t and the least of the potential mindfucks in that situation would be, how does one believe in Jesus when your mama died just for you to be _born_? Nevermind atonement for your sins… ---
**Author:** ![PhiloVance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/11 "2011-10-19T18:50:13Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > No, I can’t and the least of the potential mindfucks in that situation would be, \*\*how does one believe in Jesus when your mama died just for you to be _born_? \*\*Nevermind atonement for your sins… bolding mine. I am confused by your statement; isn’t this kind of what Jesus did? I absolutely applaud the mother, that was a totally unselfish act. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/12 "2011-10-19T18:59:01Z")
> [@Flutterby](#): > > She had no husband, her brother is looking after the baby Whether he wanted one or not. I mean, when your sister is literally killing herself to have a baby and she asks you to take care of it when she inevitably dies, it’s not like you can say no. I guess this came out about as well as it really could–if she’d coded at home instead of in the hospital they would both be dead and her skipping the treatments would have been for nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/13 "2011-10-19T19:14:26Z")
> [@PhiloVance](#): > > bolding mine. > > I am confused by your statement; isn’t this kind of what Jesus did? > > I absolutely applaud the mother, that was a totally unselfish act. I can see how my phrasing was confusing. According to Christian theology in general, Jesus died to atone for our sins, right? So that’s a little bit different than dying to give you the chance to live. So if your mama did that for you (sacrificed herself unselfishly on your account), wouldn’t it be difficult to believe in the fairy tale about Jesus? What makes him so special? My mama died so I could be born. Why do I need someone else to die for my sins? Admittedly, I can’t make any sense of the atonement and have never been able to get a Christian to explain it to me in a way that makes sense to me, so I was just musing that, if I were born into that situation, it would be very difficult for me to have faith in a mythical figure who lives in the sky when I’m well aware of the very personal sacrifice my own mother made on my behalf. Oh, and FTR, I applaud the mama in the OP as well. That I cannot conceive of making such a choice myself speaks to my own degree of selfishness and verifies my suspicion that I have no business having children. Which I don’t. And that’s a good thing – sparing my nonexistent children from a life with a narcissistic mama (which, ironically, I’m not so sure is selfish after all). ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/14 "2011-10-19T19:25:04Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > That I cannot conceive of making such a choice myself speaks to my own degree of selfishness and verifies my suspicion that I have no business having children. I disagree with this completely. I’m not saying you should have kids; hey, to each their own! I’m also not saying that what this woman did wasn’t self-sacrificing and noble. It absolutely was. But this is one of those situations where it really is the woman’s choice. If I became pregnant and found out I had cancer, I would abort and start treatment. Partially because I am a mom already, and leaving my children without a mother would be wrong, but also because I don’t believe in the personhood of a fetus, and I wouldn’t sacrifice my life for one. If I wanted a child, I would abort, get treatment, and if I survived, try again. And I don’t think people who make that choice are destined to be bad mothers. Again, i think this is a touching story, and I think the mom made an heroic choice. But it was a choice; I’m glad she wasn’t forced to make it, and if she would have chosen differently, she wouldn’t be a bad person. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/15 "2011-10-19T19:42:21Z")
My son’s sister-in-law was 4 months pregnant when she was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. I think she was already a dead woman walking at that point. At any rate, either they offered her no treatment or she chose no treatment. The baby was induced at about 35 weeks and the mother started on aggressive chemo the next day. But three months later, a few days after her 32nd birthday, they took her off all treatments and she died the next day. The baby is not a happy and healthy 3 year old. But even when she is old enough to understand, there will be no reason to tell her that her mother died that she might live. The mother, incidentally, was an enthusiastic tanner. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/16 "2011-10-19T20:53:27Z")
Not related, but another tearjerker. This one, though, is almost entirely touching and happy. I don’t usually listen to “glurge”, but both these stories are actually true and quite nice. [Couple married 72 years dies holding hands.](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44960859/ns/us_news-life/) What a great couple. Read the whole thing. He sounds like a goof ball and she sounds like a great lady. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/17 "2011-10-19T20:58:42Z")
What’s “heroic” about knowingly and intentionally creating an orphan,\* one who will most likely require years of intensive therapy just to deal with the guilt alone? - I didn’t read the OP’s link. I went by other posters saying no father is named and Uncle is now raising the baby. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/18 "2011-10-19T21:03:53Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > I disagree with this completely. I’m not saying you should have kids; hey, to each their own! I’m also not saying that what this woman did wasn’t self-sacrificing and noble. It absolutely was. But this is one of those situations where it really is the woman’s choice. If I became pregnant and found out I had cancer, I would abort and start treatment. Partially because I am a mom already, and leaving my children without a mother would be wrong, but also because I don’t believe in the personhood of a fetus, and I wouldn’t sacrifice my life for one. If I wanted a child, I would abort, get treatment, and if I survived, try again. And I don’t think people who make that choice are destined to be bad mothers. I can’t agree more. I know that my husband and kids would prefer a Mom/Wife than a single Dad and a newborn. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/19 "2011-10-19T21:06:00Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Not related, but another tearjerker. This one, though, is almost entirely touching and happy. I don’t usually listen to “glurge”, but both these stories are actually true and quite nice. > > [Couple married 72 years dies holding hands.](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44960859/ns/us_news-life/) > > What a great couple. Read the whole thing. He sounds like a goof ball and she sounds like a great lady. Um, I’m not sure that’s that nice- elderly guy who was in the process of having his driving license revoked crashes car, severely injuring someone else, and then dies in hospital, along with his wife. Sorry, I’m just not getting the heartwarming. 😕 A friend of one of my cousins was diagnosed with terminal cancer on the day she gave birth to twins… ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139/20 "2011-10-19T21:11:53Z")
At what point did she know she had cancer? > [@](#): > > Doctors rushed to resuscitate Crimm and decided it was best to deliver the 2-pound, 1-ounce Dottie May by cesarean section. > > Read more: [http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/10/18/oklahoma-mother-reportedly-refused-cancer-treatment-so-child-could-survive/?test=latestnews#ixzz1bGS6p0dk](http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/10/18/oklahoma-mother-reportedly-refused-cancer-treatment-so-child-could-survive/?test=latestnews#ixzz1bGS6p0dk) That doesn’t look well for the baby girl. She’s at higher risk for a host of mental, physical, and cognitive problems. Personally, I don’t find what the mother did to be heroic. It was a suicide mission. 😕 edit: I love how Fox News made this almost a ‘pro-life’ issue’. Look at the links attached to this story. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-woman-refuses-cancer-treatment-to-save-her-baby/600139.md?page=2)