# "Pregnant Women are Smug" is bad and it should feel bad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2014, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129 "2014-08-08T23:01:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/101 "2014-08-09T18:25:33Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > So I think there’s still an important point to make here–a note of strong caution. Lots of behaviors you may automatically be thinking of as “smug” are far from it. > > … > I can understand that, absolutely! But the song’s message is that pregnant women are smug, and what I’m arguing is that it is too easy to make this assumption about particular people, and at the very least, this song isn’t helping on that front. Give me a freaking break. This assertion is so Sunday-school-marmish, I wish I had our old roll eyes back. People who appreciate this song don’t need to be told that “Really, most people are nice and you shouldn’t say mean things about them.” No, this is not an important point that we really need to be told that a comedy song using the kind of exaggerations, generalizations, and universal language common in music and in comedy doesn’t _really apply to everyone_ or else we’ll go around being mean to all the poor, innocent pregnant people of the world. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/102 "2014-08-09T18:42:25Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This assertion is so Sunday-school-marmish, I wish I had our old roll eyes back. Frankly, it’s kind of smug. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/103 "2014-08-09T19:06:04Z")
Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/104 "2014-08-09T19:09:12Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > (BTW this is the obvious next step after **SuperDude** and **njtt** ’s objections to the OP. It’s an absolute mystery to me why one who has been around the boards for years and years wouldn’t anticipate this response and adjust the objection accordingly. It’s even more mysterious to me how **njtt** could call it a “very good point.” That’s frankly incredible.) You joined this board just a few months after I did. How could _you_ not anticipate being told you’re overreacting? > [@Frylock](#): > > Really? You’ve been a member here for thirteen years. Do you really not by now know the next thing to think before typing the above? Again, you’ve been a member of this board for 13 years. You really should expect what others are going to say. > [@Frylock](#): > > I don’t know, it’s a common source of frustration for me–I am always surprised when people don’t just think the next thought. Pot, meet kettle > [@Bozuit](#): > > How have I not noticed we have a **Superdude** here? Nice name. Thanks. As some have pointed out, I’ve been a member of this board for 13 years. Pretty nondescript ones, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/105 "2014-08-09T19:16:09Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Can we all at least agree that a lap dance is always better if the stripper is crying? Crying and pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/106 "2014-08-09T19:25:07Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > No, the message isn’t “pregnant woman are smug”. It’s “A certain type of pregnant woman sure is smug, right? You know the smug-ass bitch we’re singing about if these examples resonate with you”. > > It’s obvious you don’t know who this woman is because the examples aren’t resonating with you. Which is fine. But that doesn’t mean the song’s message is wrong. It just means you aren’t the intended audience. Sure, that makes sense. But (to repeat myself, sorry, but I’m not sure people are seeing this when I type it…) since I know people who have said things in the first two choruses who are decidedly _not_ being smug, but who are instead (just like the rest of us practically all the time) making the best of a difficult situation while trying not to hurt people’s feelings, I still think it’s valid to worry quite a bit that messages like the one in this song will reinforce negative stereotypes that victimize innocent people. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/107 "2014-08-09T19:27:48Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Give me a freaking break. > > This assertion is so Sunday-school-marmish, I wish I had our old roll eyes back. People who appreciate this song don’t need to be told that “Really, most people are nice and you shouldn’t say mean things about them.” > > No, this is not an important point that we really need to be told that a comedy song using the kind of exaggerations, generalizations, and universal language common in music and in comedy doesn’t _really apply to everyone_ or else we’ll go around being mean to all the poor, innocent pregnant people of the world. You have much more faith in people than I do. It’s my understanding that when most people laugh at this song, they’re thinking “yeah, bitches be smug,” not “this is a pretty funny sendup of a certain small subset of pregnant women but of course most are perfectly nice even when they say exactly these things.” ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/108 "2014-08-09T19:31:10Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > You joined this board just a few months after I did. How could _you_ not anticipate being told you’re overreacting? Of course I did. But there’s no reasonable way to respond to that nonsense ahead of time. It’s a stupid argument that no one is ever able to give any support for. Not just that they try and fail–people aren’t even able to try. There’s nothing I can work with there. There’s no point in “addressing it” ahead of time since there’s nothing to say except “you have given no good reason for anyone to believe you.” And there’s no point changing my behavior ahead of time because the opinion is so contemptible. In contrast, the whole line of conversation “this song is bad,” “you’re taking songs too seriously,” “songs have actual effects and their meanings are worth discussing” is so well-worn that it always dismays me that people don’t just skip it. > [@](#): > > Pot, meet kettle That was in response to me saying something “always surprises” me, and it’s a good point in the sense that I owe an explanation. The explanation is, “this surprises me” is often said non-literally to express dismay. That’s the sense in which I was using it. See my previous paragraph, where I’ve now put it in those terms for you. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/109 "2014-08-09T19:44:26Z")
Do you complain that Weird Al’s “Fat” is insensitive to fat people? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/110 "2014-08-09T19:56:34Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > You have much more faith in people than I do. It’s my understanding that when most people laugh at this song, they’re thinking “yeah, bitches be smug,” not “this is a pretty funny sendup of a certain small subset of pregnant women but of course most are perfectly nice even when they say exactly these things.” This is such a “please explain your earthling hu-more” thing to say. Good jokes are always transgressive. (There’s a book out now on the science of humor that describes humor as a “benign violation.”) ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/111 "2014-08-09T20:17:33Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This is such a “please explain your earthling hu-more” thing to say. > > Good jokes are always transgressive. (There’s a book out now on the science of humor that describes humor as a “benign violation.”) I don’t know what I’ve said that you think is inconsistent with good jokes always being transgressive. I’d disagree with a theory that says all humor is merely “benign” violation, though. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t–and the really good jokes are often the ones where it’s really hard to tell. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/112 "2014-08-09T21:39:46Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > You have much more faith in people than I do. It’s my understanding that when most people laugh at this song, they’re thinking “yeah, bitches be smug,” not “this is a pretty funny sendup of a certain small subset of pregnant women but of course most are perfectly nice even when they say exactly these things.” No, what most people think is either “Heh, that’s pretty funny” or “Meh, that’s not that funny.” Then they forget about it in 24 hours at most. But don’t let me stop you from over-analyzing this thing to death, because, honestly, this thread is comedy gold. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/113 "2014-08-09T22:42:06Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I don’t know what I’ve said that you think is inconsistent with good jokes always being transgressive. > > I’d disagree with a theory that says all humor is merely “benign” violation, though. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t–and the really good jokes are often the ones where it’s really hard to tell. The authors use “benign” to mean that there is no real threat of harm to you. At the point it straddles the line—for example, the “joke” is used as part if am effort to incite violence—it’s no longer serving the purpose of humor. You can quibble over terms if you want, but, frankly, that’s boring. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/114 "2014-08-09T22:42:26Z")
On behalf of all women who were, might be, could have been, or possibly will be pregnant one day, I for one would like to thank **Frylock** for being a verray, parfit, gentil knyght and rising to the defense of a group that so desperately needs a staunch advocate. Such cruel songs, in the name of so-called ‘humor,’ surely rise to a level of victimization–possibly even, as you justly and certainly not melodramatically say, of _violation_. We, and by ‘we’ I mean those who are Y-chromosome-challenged and thus helpless to defend ourselves from attacks by society, do indeed appreciate the fact that at least one man, one strong, true, capital-F Feminist man, is brave enough to rage against the tide of hatred against the under-protected and under-represented class of pregnant women. All that is required for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing. Evil, in this case, slithers like the serpent into Eden into our public consciousness as it so often does: via the form of a fluffy, snarky song. And it’s by two women, too–the vilest betrayal of all! Thank you again, **Frylock** , for standing up and bravely stating that all pregnant women are not smug. After all, despite centuries and millennia of pregnant women being idealized as Madonnas… despite the majority of cultures that raise up pregnancy as the ultimate feminine goal, it’s definitely true that pregnant women are a much-abused class. God only knows what might have happened if people had listened to a humorous song and _not_ considered how much it victimized vulnerable fertile females. And shame, _shame_ on those who think this is ‘just’ a witty ditty. In such a society that tolerates pregnant women being called “smug” in a song by a relatively obscure comedy duo, the _obvious_ next step would likely have been making ovulating a felony; from there, is it not clear that mandatory abortions would follow? Indeed, it is not ridiculous to believe that this very song could have been the end of the human race! So kudos to you, sir, and kudos again. We who are about to (or may, or possibly could have chosen to) procreate salute you. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/115 "2014-08-09T22:45:04Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I don’t know what I’ve said that you think is inconsistent with good jokes always being transgressive. That part was an aside. The main point is that by saying something like this: > [@Frylock](#): > > You have much more faith in people than I do. It’s my understanding that when most people laugh at this song, they’re thinking “yeah, bitches be smug,” not “this is a pretty funny sendup of a certain small subset of pregnant women but of course most are perfectly nice even when they say exactly these things.” … You demonstrate that you don’t really understand how humor works. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/116 "2014-08-09T22:46:58Z")
> [@choie](#): > > Thank you again, **Frylock** , for standing up and bravely stating that all pregnant women are not smug. This is stupid. I didn’t say this. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/117 "2014-08-09T22:48:02Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > … You demonstrate that you don’t really understand how humor works. Okay man. Since that’s an ongoing and somewhat controversial area of research, I’m not too surprised if this is so. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/118 "2014-08-09T22:48:27Z")
[This is for you, **choie**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJKQf6UCHIU) ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/119 "2014-08-09T23:42:09Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Don’t ever change, SDMB, don’t ever change. I never will. Clearly. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129/120 "2014-08-09T23:55:46Z")
I’d just like to say that Garfunkel and Oates are a lot like Sarah Silverman, only with music. And humor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-are-smug-is-bad-and-it-should-feel-bad/695129.md?page=7)