# Pregnant women can't divorce? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 2, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671 "2005-01-02T08:01:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/1 "2005-01-02T08:01:24Z")
[Not even ones whose husbands are in jail for physically abusing them?](http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002137518_divorce01m.html) I know this is the Pit, but I’m just too confused to swear… 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/2 "2005-01-02T08:10:10Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > [Not even ones whose husbands are in jail for physically abusing them?](http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002137518_divorce01m.html) > > I know this is the Pit, but I’m just too confused to swear… 😕 There is no law in Washington State about this, I’m tolerably sure. She needs to go to another judge, or go over this yutz’s head. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/3 "2005-01-02T08:17:33Z")
It will be overruled. And the judge should be smacked down for it IMHO of course. That’s what irks me about the “pro lifers”. Most only care that the baby be born and not in the least about the quality of life for the children. And in this case the safety of the mother. ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/4 "2005-01-02T08:21:52Z")
> [@Chotii](#): > > There is no law in Washington State about this, I’m tolerably sure. She needs to go to another judge, or go over this yutz’s head. Okay, here is [the official wa.gov page about divorce with dependent children](http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/forms_instruct/index.cfm?fa=forms_instruct.display&filename=dischild). Paragraph I 1:12 states: if the woman is pregnant, she should note whether her husband or another man is the father of the child. What you have here is a case of judicial activism. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/5 "2005-01-02T09:16:33Z")
> [@Reeder](#): > > Most only care that the baby be born and not in the least about the quality of life for the children. And in this case the safety of the mother. I’d love to see a cite for this accusatory and inflammatory statement. I suspect, however, that you have fuckall in the way of such, so I’ll give a hearty FUCK YOU from my entire immediate family (and a good number of my extended family, and me on general principle here). I don’t know quite how to express the feeling your post gave me. Yes, there are bad, illogical folks out there who happen to be pro-life. That they care solely about the birth of a child and “not in the least” about anything past that is … well, I’m extremely interested to see your evidence for this. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/6 "2005-01-02T10:36:30Z")
It could be that legally the child is the husband’s, even if he hasn’t had sex with his wife for years. This was one of the surprising bits in my marriage contract… ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/7 "2005-01-02T10:58:29Z")
Legally, the child will be her husband’s, unless her divorce is granted so that she can marry the child’s actual father before it’s born. The judge has his head so firmly up his posterior, he’s able to lick his stomach from the inside. What a moron. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/8 "2005-01-02T11:38:53Z")
Not only am I dumbfounded and disgusted, I’m embarrassed that this travesty is happening in my home state! I thought we were one of the progressive places! Well, it is over there in the prairie. Its really part of Idaho… Or should be… Idahoans, shouldn’t be hitting… stop it! ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/9 "2005-01-02T13:34:50Z")
> [@Chotii](#): > > There is no law in Washington State about this, I’m tolerably sure. She needs to go to another judge, or go over this yutz’s head. Yes, there is - can’t leave a child without means of support. He chose to interpret as “don’t let her get divorced” rather than "find out who the father really is and have him sign for his reponsibility. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/10 "2005-01-02T18:05:45Z")
The article quotes the judge as saying: “It’s not the child’s fault that mom got pregnant,” Bastine said. “The answer is, you don’t go around doing that when you’re not divorced.” The mother states that the father is her boyfriend, so the child will be supported by him. She’s been separated from her husband after he attacked her in 2002 and filed for divorce from him last April. He’s not contesting it. So you have two people who no longer wish to be married, one of whom wishes to bring up her child with her new partner. And the judge is against it because he wants the kid to be legitimate. It’s about the right of a child not to be born outside of a marriage, apparently. Because in this day and age it’s such a rare and shameful thing to be born outside of wedlock. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/11 "2005-01-02T18:11:47Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > I’d love to see a cite for this accusatory and inflammatory statement. I suspect, however, that you have fuckall in the way of such, so I’ll give a hearty FUCK YOU from my entire immediate family (and a good number of my extended family, and me on general principle here). I don’t know quite how to express the feeling your post gave me. Yes, there are bad, illogical folks out there who happen to be pro-life. That they care solely about the birth of a child and “not in the least” about anything past that is … well, I’m extremely interested to see your evidence for this. How else do you explain those “pro lifers” who are against abortion for any reason whatsoever? In cases of rape, incest regardless of the that pregnancy might dangerous to the mother. What is your explanation for those? ---
**Author:** ![SparrowHawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@SparrowHawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SparrowHawk)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/12 "2005-01-02T21:18:09Z")
A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. His wife moved out on him to live with her boyfriend. My friend initiated divorce proceedings. Wife got pregnant, bf buggered off and the divorce was not allowed to proceed until she had given birth and paternity could be proved - even though she had not lived with my friend for a year or so and freely admitted the child was not his. Result: kid is born and he is legally responsible until he proves he is not the father. Which he did, of course, but the irony is that he fell in love with the baby girl that was born and although the divorce went through, he pretty much fathers that child, since no one else will. (He maintains contact with his ex because they also have a child together, and his love is big enough for both of those girls.) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/13 "2005-01-02T21:19:01Z")
> [@Reeder](#): > > How else do you explain those “pro lifers” who are against abortion for any reason whatsoever? > > In cases of rape, incest regardless of the that pregnancy might dangerous to the mother. > > What is your explanation for those? That’s a lovely cite … oops! Not a cite at all! Also evasive! Congrats! That someone is against abortion, period (which those pro-lifers in my family are not, for what it will be worth to a person such as you), does not mean they care nothing for the quality of life of a potential aborted baby. Got a figure for what percent of pro-lifers are against abortion in all cases? A poll? An article on a (probably with pro-life bias) website? Got any fact at all? Anywhere? Or did you just feel like spewing some hateful shit and figure you wouldn’t get called on it? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/14 "2005-01-02T21:35:03Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > Got a figure for what percent of pro-lifers are against abortion in all cases? A poll? An article on a (probably with pro-life bias) website? [The numbers](http://www.pollingreport.com/abortion.htm) Looks like 13-20% of the populace are against abortions in all cases (which looks to be about a third to almost a half of pro-lifers). ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/15 "2005-01-02T21:44:29Z")
Well, thanks for that (which is disheartening but not, I’m afraid to say, altogether surprising). I still maintain that it does nothing to further **Reeder** ’s assertion and I’d still love to see something like “Do you give two shits about the 18 years after the kid is born or just that no abortion is performed?” backed up with anything factual. ---
**Author:** ![Logicalkitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f6c823/32.png) [@Logicalkitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Logicalkitten)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/16 "2005-01-02T21:46:05Z")
> [@SparrowHawk](#): > > A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. His wife moved out on him to live with her boyfriend. My friend initiated divorce proceedings. Wife got pregnant, bf buggered off and the divorce was not allowed to proceed until she had given birth and paternity could be proved - even though she had not lived with my friend for a year or so and freely admitted the child was not his. Result: kid is born and he is legally responsible until he proves he is not the father. Which he did, of course, but the irony is that he fell in love with the baby girl that was born and although the divorce went through, he pretty much fathers that child, since no one else will. (He maintains contact with his ex because they also have a child together, and his love is big enough for both of those girls.) What a refreshing thing to read! Can we clone him? ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/17 "2005-01-02T22:01:39Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Legally, the child will be her husband’s, unless her divorce is granted so that she can marry the child’s actual father before it’s born. > > The judge has his head so firmly up his posterior, he’s able to lick his stomach from the inside. What a moron. As I understood it, she has to go to court to remove her current husband’s name from the birth certificate, and get the genetic father’s name put on the certificate. At least, that’s what [this article](http://www.thestranger.com/2004-12-23/feature.html) says anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/18 "2005-01-02T22:05:49Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > Well, thanks for that (which is disheartening but not, I’m afraid to say, altogether surprising). I still maintain that it does nothing to further **Reeder** ’s assertion and I’d still love to see something like “Do you give two shits about the 18 years after the kid is born or just that no abortion is performed?” backed up with anything factual. You mean, for example, a certain political party’s assertion that a pregnant woman must carry her child to term, but refusal to fund social programs to assist with education, low cost housing, cost of living, etc? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/19 "2005-01-02T22:11:39Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > I’d love to see a cite for this accusatory and inflammatory statement. When did asking for cites in the Pit become the thing to do anyway? 😛 This isn’t GD, nobody comes here to make a formal argument. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671/20 "2005-01-02T22:18:51Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > You mean, for example, a certain political party’s assertion that a pregnant woman must carry her child to term, but refusal to fund social programs to assist with education, low cost housing, cost of living, etc? Y’know, I coulda sworn there had been no outright (some? A lot more than I think is appropriate? Fuck yeah) removal of those programs. The implications of that certain political party’s move and its feeling that such a move would gain votes is pretty damn depressing, but I would also point out that not all pro-lifers are members of that political party (my family can’t stand Bush or the vast majority of the GOP, and they aren’t alone in that). And **Marley** , arguments that “This is the Pit, I don’t need a cite” I treat similarly to “this is [forum]. I don’t need a cite.” Bullshit. Check **Chefguy** ’s thread for evidence of cites being requested and granted in the Pit. Plus, you make an assertion (especially one as damning and inflammatory as **Reeder** ’s), you back it up with something. This isn’t “what’s your favorite Teletubbies episode?” and **Reeder** ought to be used to people asking for cites. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pregnant-women-cant-divorce/282671.md?page=2)