# Prejudice is really eye-opening in person. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 1, 2009, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933 "2009-05-01T04:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/61 "2009-05-04T01:07:48Z")
I’m not even going to talk about Mississippi. There’s been enough ink spilt over that subject already. But some of the worst racism I’ve seen has been outside of Mississippi. In New York City, at New Year’s, I saw a young man kick a newspaper stand and scream “Jewish piece of shit!” My own boyfriend at the time, a born and bred Los Angelino, was driving me to an art museum, passed some black people, and casually mentioned how much he hated “niggers”. I was horrified; I mean, this is someone I \*love \*saying these things. I told him I wouldn’t stand for it, and he had the grace to be embarrassed and apologize. A dearly loved friend of mine from MD lamented to me that the only girls who’d been hitting on him lately had ‘something wrong with them, like being fat or minorities’. In Turkey, my Turkish friends in all seriousness informed me that all Kurds are dirty, thieving, and have too many children and don’t take care of them. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/62 "2009-05-04T01:35:50Z")
I’ve encountered a few examples of racism, but the worst example came from people who used to be friends. An evening at their house was winding down and a preseason football game was on in the background when they started to talk about how black people had an extra tendon in their legs. I asked them to stop, told them I used to be on the Diocesan Commission on Racism and didn’t care for that talk, and ultimately walked out of their house. We’ve barely spoken since. I am, however, tempted to ask them if the president has that extra tendon! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/63 "2009-05-04T06:38:11Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > IMO, no, as long as you’re not being offensive, it’s just silly to pretend you don’t notice any differences. The other day, some of my classmates and I were sitting around, and someone mentioned another of our classmates, John, who wasn’t there, in passing. And one person asked “wait, who’s John?” And the original mentioner hesitated and said, “He’s tall…dual degree with the business school…um…” > > Me, thinking this is just silly: He’s black. > > Questioner: Oh, right, John Lastname! > > If you’re just using someone’s appearance as a descriptor, it’s not racist. I would actually go as far to say that going out of your way not to describe someone’s race is itself racist. You are implying that there is something negative about being of that race. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/64 "2009-05-06T23:01:40Z")
**Siege** , your friends may have been misremembering/misunderstanding the [contended statistical correlation](http://www.slate.com/id/2197721/) of West African descent with a high number of “fast-twitch” muscle fibers. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Mama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5ac83/32.png) [@Atomic\_Mama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Mama)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/65 "2009-05-06T23:53:23Z")
In 1968 when I was under 21 & going to Northwestern University in Evanston IL, my b/f and I used to sneak into Theresa’s (a funky South Side Chicago bar with live music) … one night we set out with a tape recorder, to interview then-pretty-much-unknown (to Caucasians, anyway) BUDDY GUY. The cops stopped us, quizzed us thoroughly, and basically ran us out of the neighborhood. “For our own safety.” ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/66 "2009-05-07T01:02:38Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I would actually go as far to say that going out of your way not to describe someone’s race is itself racist. You are implying that there is something negative about being of that race. I disagree with this. I don’t consider myself racist. However, last year, when my middle daughter was dating a boy who was 6’5", I often described him first as being “very tall”; does that make me ‘heightist’? It’s just a pronoun that describes a person. If a particular characteristic is that they’re tall, or blond, or black, or Asian, it’s just a pronoun. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/67 "2009-05-07T01:18:15Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > **Siege** , your friends may have been misremembering/misunderstanding the [contended statistical correlation](http://www.slate.com/id/2197721/) of West African descent with a high number of “fast-twitch” muscle fibers. No, there’s an actual urban legend that black people run faster because they have an extra tendon in the leg or a thicker-than-normal Achilles tendon. See [here](http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060903201639AAHojj6), for example. My favorite snippet: > [@](#): > > It is a common misconception, but they do not have an extra tendon. It is in their genes that they can jump high, as their fathers or uncles or grandfathers could jump high. It is a common belief that this ability started when the slaves built up incredibly strong leg muscles from hard work in the fields day in and day out. > > I hope I dont sound racist, as it the truth. :D:smack::eek::rolleyes::dubious: …☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/68 "2009-05-07T02:20:41Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > I disagree with this. I don’t consider myself racist. However, last year, when my middle daughter was dating a boy who was 6’5", I often described him first as being “very tall”; does that make me ‘heightist’? It’s just a pronoun that describes a person. If a particular characteristic is that they’re tall, or blond, or black, or Asian, it’s just a pronoun. Reread what \*\*BigT \*\*wrote. He said if you go out of your way to **not** use race as a descriptor, then that implies racism. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/69 "2009-05-07T02:33:51Z")
I forget the context, but someone at work asked me if I had ever seen the move [Gayniggers from Outer Space](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274518/). ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/70 "2009-05-07T02:41:21Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > I disagree with this. I don’t consider myself racist. However, last year, when my middle daughter was dating a boy who was 6’5", I often described him first as being “very tall”; does that make me ‘heightist’? It’s just a pronoun that describes a person. If a particular characteristic is that they’re tall, or blond, or black, or Asian, it’s just a pronoun. Just a small comment of no real relevance to anything, but those aren’t pronouns. They’re adjectives. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/71 "2009-05-07T13:49:37Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Reread what \*\*BigT \*\*wrote. He said if you go out of your way to **not** use race as a descriptor, then that implies racism. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19adc/32.png) [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Am_The_Lorax)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933/72 "2009-05-07T15:50:51Z")
It’s still shocking to me that people will spew slurs in front of me, as if me being white means I won’t mind. I was raised by an ultra-liberal mother who considers it the height of rudeness to even notice differences. I think that’s backlash from being raised by racists herself. My grandmother, bless her heart, knows she’s wrong, and knows she’s too old to change her thinking. I’ve never heard her say anything cruel, but I’ve heard her say plenty of ignorant things. We were once watching a makeover show, and they were making over a black woman. She asked me if I had “ever felt a colored person’s hair? What does it feel like?” She’s not mean, just admittedly ignorant. I’m not like my mother, though. I have friends of many races, and it’s something we can talk and joke about. Common topic is who’s scarier, angry black mom or angry Jewish mom? We haven’t come to a conclusion yet. I think (and I’m probably wrong, but I hope not) that the racism that gets passed to the next generation is watered down. It seems that people of my generation (I was born in 1983) are a lot more accepting as a whole than say, our grandparents were. My kids have friends from Africa, and friends from Mexico and friends from France; they don’t think anything of it when they see a picture of two grooms or two brides. As to the OP, the most shocking example I’ve heard was from my own sister. Half-sister, actually. That’s not a term I usually use, because it doesn’t usually matter, but I guess here it does. She was raised by her father, who is certainly a racist, and while she knows better than to talk the way he does in front of me or Mom, she fucked up once. We were in line at the drugstore and she starts harping about “these niggers at school” right in front of the black cashier. I was mortified. I slapped her upside the back of the head and told her to wait for me outside. After I apologized to the clerk, I gave her a public dressing down she still remembers. My husband, who doesn’t have a racist bone in his body, (his last ‘girlfriend’ was a black man, so I know this is so) comes home from work sometimes with off-color jokes he hears from the other mechanics. And I laugh, I can’t help it. It’s more akin to the reaction I’d have seeing someone get kicked in the balls. “Oh, that’s so painful bad, it’s funny” kind of thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prejudice-is-really-eye-opening-in-person/494933.md?page=3)