# Premature banning of Swiftysoitiz **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 12, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341 "2005-09-12T22:15:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/21 "2005-09-12T23:52:00Z")
Interesting that no one has mentioned this post: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6573684&postcount=29](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6573684&postcount=29) In which the banned poster in question types a coherent sentence, with proper spelling and punctuation, referring to himself in the third person. Then immediately underneath that sentence types a rebuttal more in keeping with the OP’s style, leading one to believe that two people are posting under the same username, and are apparently not in complete agreement over the point of the thread. Curious. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/22 "2005-09-12T23:53:40Z")
I think that was a quote, actually ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/23 "2005-09-12T23:54:05Z")
> [@AFAIKnow](#): > > Damn that thread made my head spin. I have a family member who is an alcoholic. Sometimes when he gets drunk in the middle of the night he will call a family member up and start talking random shit that would make your head esplode. He would also have “epiphanies” about certain things and he would say stuff like “Dude, you are smart. You are the smartest person I know, but no one knows I am smarter than you.” And then he would go on to extol on his newfound insight on such and such that would make you bust out laughing until he gets pissed and hangs up on you. Drunk was my first impression, too. But maybe this is an indication of the left leaning admins on the board-- they thought he belonged to Swiftboat Vets for Truth. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/24 "2005-09-12T23:55:04Z")
Yep. By skammer. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/25 "2005-09-12T23:56:29Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Interesting that no one has mentioned this post: > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6573684&postcount=29](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6573684&postcount=29) > > In which the banned poster in question types a coherent sentence, with proper spelling and punctuation, referring to himself in the third person. > > Then immediately underneath that sentence types a rebuttal more in keeping with the OP’s style, leading one to believe that two people are posting under the same username, and are apparently not in complete agreement over the point of the thread. > > Curious. No, the first coherent sentence was written by **Skammer**. Captain Crazypants didn’t know how to quote, and instead cut-and-pasted it. **Bytegeist** , are you actually upset over this guy’s banning? I was under the impression that keeping the crazies and spammers out was the mod prime directive. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/26 "2005-09-12T23:56:31Z")
He’s posing the same question on a skinheads board of which his is a prolific, long-term member. FWIW, he got about the same (albeit a little kinder and more patient) response there as he did here. Someone there directed him to Cecil and he evidently found the boards instead. Because of that, I doubt he’s a sock. Maybe cuz he’s a skinhead - not sure of the SDMB policy on that. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/27 "2005-09-12T23:56:44Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > I think that was a quote, actually :smack: Diabolical. A quote without quote tags, when he had already demonstrated his ability to use quote tags properly. In fact, he used the same quote, properly, in his previous post. That’s no bot. That, my friends, was _El Diablo_ himself. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/28 "2005-09-12T23:59:04Z")
> [@lorinada](#): > > Because of that, I doubt he’s a sock. Maybe cuz he’s a skinhead - not sure of the SDMB policy on that. Yeah, we normally don’t have a problem with raving lunatics as long as they’re not _racist_. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/29 "2005-09-13T00:10:35Z")
The FDA ought to put a warning label on Swifty’s OP. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/30 "2005-09-13T00:49:34Z")
Oh dear. I didn’t have any trouble understanding what he was saying. I was going to tell him that he couldn’t copyright discussion topics, but that if he wanted to _try_ to, he should write the question down, put it in a sealed envelope and mail it to himself. _Then never open the envelope._ The postmark would provide a little evidence that he came up with the question himself. But after he sells it to one person, there is nothing to keep other people from discussing it. Most people are not going to pay in advance to hear the question unless they are crazy with curiousity. But even as an adult, I’ve been introduced to paradoxes that intrigue me. I suppose most of you are familiar with the reason that you can never cross a finish line. But whose paradox is that? I think I read about it first in _Godel, Escher, Bach._ Sorry to hear that loonies aren’t welcome, BTW. I agree that this banning was premature unless there was more to it than meets the eye. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/31 "2005-09-13T00:53:51Z")
I think it was **Thai Dog’s** more challenged sibling. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/32 "2005-09-13T01:01:26Z")
Oh Lord. First, they came for the incomprehensible, borderline illiterate, hostile, drunken racist skinhead trolls… and I said nothing, because I was not an incomprehensible, borderline illiterate, hostile, drunken racist skinhead troll. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/33 "2005-09-13T01:05:16Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > I suppose most of you are familiar with the reason that you can never cross a finish line. But whose paradox is that? That would be Zeno’s Paradox. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/34 "2005-09-13T01:06:32Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I think it was **Thai Dog’s** more challenged sibling. Swiftysoitiz isn’t worthy to carry the matches to burn Thai Dog’s dog. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/35 "2005-09-13T01:06:55Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > But even as an adult, I’ve been introduced to paradoxes that intrigue me. I suppose most of you are familiar with the reason that you can never cross a finish line. But whose paradox is that? I think I read about it first in _Godel, Escher, Bach._ **Zoe** , for a collection of interesting paradoxes (paradoxii?), let me recommend a short story by Eric Frank Russell entitled _Diabologic_ from the short story collection Six Worlds Yonder. It was written in 1955 and uses the finish line paradox, but in his form it is why you can’t shoot a running man. There are lots more (which I’ve largely forgotten in the 20+ years since I last read it) and all of the stories in the collection are fun to read. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/36 "2005-09-13T01:52:59Z")
People are banned for this everyday, all over the world. Numa numa yey! ---
**Author:** ![Bytegeist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Bytegeist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bytegeist)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/37 "2005-09-13T02:26:11Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > **Bytegeist** , are you actually upset over this guy’s banning? I was under the impression that keeping the crazies and spammers out was the mod prime directive. No, I’m certainly not upset about this. I just thought the sudden banning without a warning was unfair, _assuming **Swifty** was sincere_ — however inarticulate, naive, loony, or intoxicated he might or might not have been. Those reasons don’t (or shouldn’t) count as “being a jerk”, the Board’s official dogma on the subject. If nothing else, such people are delightfully entertaining, without being all that offensive. Spammers, trolls, and sock puppets on the other hand — sure, I have no objection to their banning. Some have just suggested **Swifty** might have been a sock, a possiblity I hadn’t considered when I posted. But if he was, as alleged, a skinhead from another board, stringing us along into some racist diatribe somewhere down the line, he sure picked a strange approach: [ol] [li]Baffle but entice board members about where one might “sell a question” — a new and profound question about the world, never thought of by anyone anywhere ever before, inspired the other day by watching some unspecified animal. It’s a question that _must_ be answered, although unfortunately _no one can_ answer it.[/li][li]???[/li][li]Racist diatribe.[/li]li[/li][/ol] > [@Zoe](#): > > I suppose most of you are familiar with the reason that you can never cross a finish line. But whose paradox is that? I think I read about it first in Godel, Escher, Bach. You’re thinking of [Zeno’s “dichotomy” paradox](http://mathworld.wolfram.com/ZenosParadoxes.html). When used in moderation, it makes an excellent proof that you needn’t bother getting out of bed in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/38 "2005-09-13T02:39:57Z")
Before he left, **Swifty** confided in me that the answer was “Rosebud”. I kid you not. [sup][sub]OK, I do, I do[/sub][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Bytegeist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Bytegeist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bytegeist)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/39 "2005-09-13T02:43:09Z")
Incidentally, this whole episode reminds me of a Monty Python sketch from their _Matching Tie and Handkerchief_ album: > [@](#): > > **Announcer:** Next caller please. > **Caller:** Hello… > **Announcer:** Hello! It’s Mr. Gannet from Dorchester isn’t it? > **Caller:** Ah no… he’s dead. > **Announcer:** Oh dear. > **Caller:** But he left me his question in his will. > **Announcer:** Oh dear, well how sad, but let’s hear the question. > **Caller:** Oh… ah… unfortunately one of the conditions of the will is that I myself should not reveal the question. > **Announcer:** Oh dear, well can someone else reveal it? > **Caller:** Ah yes, he left provision… > **Announcer:** I’m sorry we’re running out of time. > **Caller:** Yes. He left provision in the will that his wife should be able to reveal the question in certain circumstances. > **Announcer:** Is she there? > **Caller:** Um, yes. > **Announcer:** Well perhaps she could read the question on farming please. > **Caller:** Well, she’s **here** , but she’s not very well. > **Announcer:** Is she well enough to read the question? > **Caller:** Ooooh no, I wouldn’t think so. > **Announcer:** Well is there anyone there who **can** read the late Mr Gannet’s question? > **Caller:** Only if the executors of the will were to agree on a revocation of the clause by applying for a codicil… > **Announcer:** Well I’m afraid we must leave that question there then. > **Caller:** It could be rushed through in about 2 months! > **Announcer:** Well I am afraid that is all we have time for. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341/40 "2005-09-13T02:44:16Z")
Clearly, the question in question was the following: **Why a duck?** No one knows the answer, and no one ever shall. You each owe me ten bucks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/premature-banning-of-swiftysoitiz/321341.md?page=3)