Pres Sez: "Not Leaving Iraq As Long as I'm President"

The BBQ Pit
21

[QUOTE=whole bean]
the other day, I heard talk show blow hard Neal Boortz say that two things were responsible for the debacle that is Iraq – 1). Bush’s failures (I was stunned); and, 2) liberal crticism of the war (WTmotherF!). How do you fucking figure? The way I see it, the existence of #1 mandates #2, but maybe there is something to this line of thought. I think I’ll try to to fly without any mechanical assistance – I’ll jump from my roof and flap my arms. My wife is sure to protest – she’ll probably tell me that I relied on bad information when I arrived at my conclusion that I was capable of unaided flight . When I break my neck as a result of the fall, I’ll blame her – hell have her arrested for battery – for her failure to support my plan.
[/QUOTE]

It was your wife’s lack of faith in your ability to fly that gave gravity the courage to challenge your arm flapping.

22

[QUOTE=col_10022]

[/QUOTE]

see post 17

23

We won’t leave until Mr. Bush’s contractor friends have made enough money on the war.

24

Got an idea about that, Asknott. Take the House back (Step 1). Form a modern version of the WWII Truman Committees to ruthlessly investigate war profiteering. With a fine tooth comb. Might be necessary to unleash our crack squads of Marxist MBA’s…

Find any graft, any corruption…make 'em give it back, plus interest. Place the degree of financial penalty directly commensurate with money realized, that is, a CEO or Board member is responsible in proportion to thier compensation. And if it costs them everything they made plus interest, if there next meeting consist of asking if you want fries with that… so much the better.

We know that the civic virtue of most corporados requires that they support the Republican side of things. Stern duty demands. But perhaps with these sorts of considerations, they will be a little less inclined to think of the War Wagon as the Gravy Train.

25

[QUOTE=elucidator]
Got an idea about that, Asknott. Take the House back (Step 1). Form a modern version of the WWII Truman Committees to ruthlessly investigate war profiteering. With a fine tooth comb. Might be necessary to unleash our crack squads of Marxist MBA’s…
[/QUOTE]

Might as well hire these guys:

The War in Iraq Costs

Not for the faint of heart…

26

[QUOTE=xtisme]
blah blah blah. The long of the short of it though is I would frankly be surprised at this point if Bush does a reversal (unless forced somehow) and brings the troops home before his term is up. I’m QUITE miffed at this, as I had high hopes last year that we could extract our dick from the golf shoes this year…or maybe by early next year at the latest.

-XT
[/QUOTE]

I think things are going well in Iraq. But, anyways, assuming I thought like you did “the golf shoes” is a country, with millions of people who deserve a safe country. Whatever we have done to Iraq, good or bad, it would be a betrayal and a disgrace for us to take an action which would almost certainly send the country into anarchy.

I’m all for gradual withdrawals that do not leave the Iraqi government susceptible to overthrowing and do not leave the country open to outright civil war.

27

[QUOTE=Martin Hyde]
…I’m all for gradual withdrawals that do not leave the Iraqi government susceptible to overthrowing and do not leave the country open to outright civil war.
[/QUOTE]

And I would like a lap dance from J Lo. Prospects for either of us are dim, at best.

There are some situations that are so FUBAR that they cannot be salvaged. Our dream of a bourgeois secular Iraq with picket fences and Starbucks is totally gone. To these eyes, the Bushivik strategy is to stall and pray for a miracle, to hope against hope that somehow the situation will simply improve, that the power of their ideology has the force of Divine Will.

How many times can we be told that we are turning the corner before we realize we are going round in vicious circles?

28

[QUOTE=Martin Hyde]
I think things are going well in Iraq…
[/QUOTE]

I missed this part. With all due respect, this is batshit pizza.

29

[QUOTE=elucidator]
Got an idea about that, Asknott. Take the House back (Step 1). Form a modern version of the WWII Truman Committees to ruthlessly investigate war profiteering. With a fine tooth comb. Might be necessary to unleash our crack squads of Marxist MBA’s…

Find any graft, any corruption…make 'em give it back, plus interest.

[/QUOTE]

That’d be nice, but you’re assuming there are enough honest politicians to run these investigations who wouldn’t look like screaming hypocrites if their own dealings were revealed. Somehow, I don’t think that’s the case.

30

[QUOTE=Martin Hyde]
I think things are going well in Iraq.
[/QUOTE]

Mind sharing your fantasies?

31

Elucidator:

Ok, so it looks to me like you’re pitting the President for staying.

May I ask exactly what you propose we do, in detail, without the “bushistas,” “friend Scylla’s,” rhetoricl flourishes our asides?

If you were in charge with the cooperation and support of the government, what exactly would be your course for action from this moment forward?

32

[QUOTE=RedFury]
Mind sharing your fantasies?
[/QUOTE]

or the pharmacuticals that inspired them?

33

[QUOTE=Oakminster]
There’s another reason for not leaving Iraq any time soon, that I haven’t seen discussed much. If the US pulls out, civil war ensues. We know that. But, what goes unmentioned is that Iran is lurking on the sidelines. Once we’re out, they let all sides in Iraq wear each other down a bit, then they come marching in, possibly at the manufactured “request” of one of the factions, and Iran then annexes what used to be Iraq. Thus is an Islamic Superstate created. Syria would jump for joy, and be a staunch ally.
[/QUOTE]

Syria would immediately begin funding anti-Iranian factions in Iraq. I mean, this would be the gravest conceivable threat to Syrian security.

Iranians and Iraqis are two completely different cultures; what you are proposing is akin to China taking over Japan. Arab countries AREN’T fond of Iran, and for good reason; Iran has long been a destablizing force in the region. Don’t be fooled by the fact that Iran and Syria just happen to have a common interest in Hezbollah.

If they took over Iraq, Iran would be stuck with a resistance even fiercer than what the USA and their Iraqi puppets are facing, and it would be a resistance supported by every Arabic state there is.

34

[QUOTE=Martin Hyde]
I think things are going well in Iraq. But, anyways, assuming I thought like you did “the golf shoes” is a country, with millions of people who deserve a safe country. Whatever we have done to Iraq, good or bad, it would be a betrayal and a disgrace for us to take an action which would almost certainly send the country into anarchy.
[/quote]
We already took that action, in March of 2003; and yes, we did disgrace ourselves.

Then, on the face of it, it would appear that you are all for a perpetual U.S. military presence in Iraq.

Shall we just officially start the annexation process now? Maybe they’ll be ready for statehood by, say, 2059.

35

He was speaking and it didn’t match his lips. I figured the White House didn’t trust him not to say something extremely stupid, so they had a delay. At least I didn’t hear read my lips. Yep. We ain’t leaving you spawn of Hell and Bush don’t care how many people he has to draft in the next year, and you vets over 65 are next.

36

Hell, no! Too old to go!

37

[QUOTE=Scylla]
…May I ask exactly what you propose we do, in detail, without the “bushistas,” “friend Scylla’s,” rhetoricl flourishes our asides?..
[/quote]

Nope. You get the flourishes. Tough noogs, you mess with the bull, you get the flourishes. Or something.

Regretably, my rise to world domination has been thwarted by the incompetence of my assistant. By his accent, I suspect he is Australian, so I should have known better.

Step one: determine the minimum acceptable timeframe for evacuating US personnel without the costs associated with a paniced bug out. If that’s is three months, then so be it. We’re gone, we’re getting the hell out of BaghDodge. With the further stipulation that no development for good or ill will alter that decision. (I’d be bluffing, but what the hey…)

This decision is disgraceful, dishonorable and dastardly. It may even be cowardly, but its not my butt getting shot. So that’s moot. But decisions alreadly made make this inevitable. We eat the bug now, or we eat it after it gets bigger.

We will pursue whatever diplomatic channels are possible. A regional conference (with the full participation of Iran and Syria…) is definitely in order, but not our call to make. Perhaps an arrangement can be made to save some face, but since we don’t deserve to, it hardly matters.

The end result will be disagreeable, even repulsive. But we will need to husband our military and diplomatic strength for the inevitable consequences of this monumental excercise in galactic stupidity. You cannot unscrew the pooch.

The only other option is a massive change in course, pour our treasure and the lives of our best and brightest and hope than we can force a happy result. I need not describe my opinion of this option.

The Bushiviks only hope is to stay the course and pray it all works out. It isn’t working, and it won’t. Divine Intervention is not a plan.

38

[QUOTE=elucidator]
Hell, no! Too old to go!
[/QUOTE]

Too old to go now, but what about next year? We’re up to an maximum enlistment age of 42 now. Can you imagine basic? “Drop and give me five or six, whatever you can handle, old timer.”

39

Well, I can drop. That’s pretty much it.

40

[QUOTE=elucidator]
Well, I can drop. That’s pretty much it.
[/QUOTE]
Hey, that means you can take cover – what more do you need?

Now, if you’ll just sign these papers…